2y2m - wetting trousers

[HalyardHitch]

My 2y2m boy asked to use the potty a couple of weeks after he turned two and we haven't really used nappies since (apart from a couple of weeks when he was really poorly but that was end of Jan).

He's 100% reliable when bottoms free. He'll take himself to the potty/toilet. He'll either wee standing up or get his seat and sit. Sometimes I do have to remind him but generally he's ok.

As soon as I put trousers on him, he won't tell me he needs to go, won't take himself off to go and will every single time without fail, wet his trousers.

I've tried just pants, jeans and joggers, just joggers, just pj bottoms. Nothing seems to work.

To make matters even more frustrating, when we are out he manages to stay dry 99% of the time.

He's just spent the last five days wearing nothing but pj bottoms and has only hit the potty a handful of times.

I've tried stickers and little treats but he doesn't seem to understand the concept of having it when you've done a wee. He just gets upset. He's not delayed or anything but his language is ever so slightly behind his peers - he doesn't seem to have as much complexity of emotion as them so bribery doesn't seem to work.

I'm at my wits end. He starts preschool next week. They aren't worried about it but I wanted him to be reliable by now - it's taking so so long

[LeekMunchingSheepShagger]

It sound like he isn't ready to be honest. I'd put him back in nappies and try again in a couple of months.

[HalyardHitch]

@LeekMunchingSheepShagger just out of interest, if you think he's not ready (which I accept), what is your take on him being 100% reliable when bottoms free?

I forgot to say, he mostly wakes up from his naps dry and his overnight nappies are dry about 50% of the time

[Fagbreakagain1]

My dd3 was the same. She had just turned 2 but were back to square one at 2.6 years and won’t even let me take her nappy off when she has had a pooh! The odd occasion she has asked to sit on the toilet and will happily go so we keep her nappy off then will poop on something 😷

I refuse to tell her off about it though and just carry on with ‘you need to tell mummy if you need a wee/poop or go on the potty’

It won’t last forever!

[HalyardHitch]

That's one thing he is 100% reliable on when wearing trousers. He will say he needs to poo and use the toilet for that. Small blessings I guess.

So maybe back to nappies? :(

[Fagbreakagain1]

Can’t remember dd1 bit dd2 had nailed dry days by 2.6 and nights by three.

However 2.6 years is still really young and I don’t expect dd to be that quick - I used to carry a potty and toilet roll around with me every where when we went out

[Fagbreakagain1]

How often are you asking him and what’s his fluid intake like? I’d ask dd2 about five mins after a drink if she needed a wee.

I need to up my game with dd3

[lorisparkle]

2 yrs 2 months is still quite young for toilet training. Mine were not really that consistent til 3 and still had the occasional accident. I think you have to weigh up how bothered you are by accidents / no trousers etc.

[HalyardHitch]

I just can't for the life of me work out how to make him understand that wearing trousers is the same as wearing nothing. He's got bladder control as he can hold it for 90 minutes or so (unless obviously he's had a massive drink).

[HalyardHitch]

He can't go to preschool half naked next week. I don't mind constantly washing trousers but it is a bit frustrating. Especially when I ask him, he says no and then wets his trousers about a minute later. When bottoms free I'll ask him and he'll go to the potty and do a wee. Or if I forget to ask him, he'll just take himself for a wee.

I don't know whether to put him back in nappies, which I think he'll hate. Keep him naked. Or persevere with the trousers.

I didn't really want to potty train him; it's all been lead by him

[Crabbyandproudofit]

I'm not sure how to help really but I imagine it's not about 'bladder control' but about knowing/feeling when he needs to go? Even with just pants on he may not really feel that he is weeing until it's too late. If he takes himself to the potty or toilet when he's bare do you ask him where he is going? Does he tell you without prompting? Maybe that would be a place to start, so that he is thinking about what he is doing and how it feels. Nursery/preschool won't be at all bothered that he is in nappies but it is difficult for you when you felt he had progressed past that stage.

[Fuppy]

Would it be worth trying those panty liner things (potty training pads I think)?

[HalyardHitch]

Yeh, I'm not sure. Maybe he doesn't get much notice. He usually just says "wee" and walks off when he's bare. Or sometimes if I'm in the kitchen making breakfast I'll come back and there's wee in the potty.

I've got to dash - he's just woken up and is shouting "wee" in his cot. Will catch up later

[Crabbyandproudofit]

He seems quite independent for being so young, do you play at him helping to dress and (more importantly) undress himself? I'm sure he'll get there soon.

[dancemom]

Are you reminding him?
I used to rub dds bum or thigh so she remembered she was wearing clothing not a nappy and ask her every 15 minutes

[HalyardHitch]

He is pretty independent. It's a blessing and a curse. He kind of has to be a bit independent as he has a fourteen month old brother to contend with also.

He can pull his pjs down and put them on. I'm not sure he could for trickier trousers. He can do his pants with a little help but gets a bit muddled when he's trying to put his legs in.

I do sometimes remind him when wearing trousers but he always says no. He did today tell me at the park when he was doing a wee which is massive progress. Normally he seems completely oblivious in trousers. My main puzzle is it's so opposite when bare.

I'll start saying to him he's not wearing a nappy and getting him to check. Good idea

[Harryy]

Have you tried boxer shorts? My son treat pants like nappies but he's fine in boxers Asda do some loose fitted one £4 for 5 pairs

[HalyardHitch]

That might be a good shout actually, I'll try that, thanks. I'm not sure whether that'll be different to wearing just pj bottoms 24/7 but I'll definitely try it. Thank you . I tried pj bottoms for the looseness

[eurochick]

I think he sounds like he just isn't ready. I'd put him back in nappies and try again in the summer holidays.

[CatWithKittens]

How about waterproof trainer pants - the terry/cloth lined ones? We have always found them very useful for moments(?), days, weeks of regression in this area as well as actually during training when sofas and carpets were to be protected.

[NoKnit]

LeekMunchingSheepShagger just out of interest, if you think he's not ready (which I accept), what is your take on him being 100% reliable when bottoms free?

It's just a different feeling with bottom free but just because he can notice it when he has nothing on doesn't mean he has full control, he obviously hasn't. I agree he just isn't ready. My first was the same and lots of people said same absolutely fine when naked but pants get wet quickly. I think my insistence on keeping at it made it longer to train him in the end, it took well over 2 years for him to be reliably dry.

He quite clearly doesn't have the control so I'd go back to nappies because he can't go out naked and you can't changed 10 pairs of trousers a day, don't do it to yourself he is so little and has plenty of time to get it

[HalyardHitch]

Thank you all for advice. I've taken everything on board. We're currently doing a mix of pull ups and nappy free time. It's working pretty well actually. Pressure's off. Sometimes he asks to use the toilet (including a wee in a hedge when we were out in the car the other day) and other times he uses his nappy. The nappy free time he's still 100% reliable.

His preschool are happy for us to do this. They initially said they'd like him potty trained but he starts in a few weeks so I don't think it'll be possible.

I was thinking it through. He's got some medical tests coming up, although we don't know when as we haven't heard from the hospital yet. It's likely to make him pretty poorly for a couple of months so holding off is probably going to be sensible.

On balance, you guys have helped take the pressure off. Thank you so much