2.5yr old, day 5, should I quit??(20 Posts)
Just finished day 5 and can’t work out if it’s worth continuing or whether I should give up. Have got a baby due in 9 weeks’ time.
Day 1 we did the whole sitting on the potty every 15 mins thing. Went well - we caught 3 wees in the potty in the AM but had 3 wee accidents in the afternoon. We had stickers and sweeties for when she got her wee in the potty and she completely understood what she had to do, was thrilled when she managed it and got upset when she had an accident (we were v reassuring / didn’t make a big deal of it but she hated being wet from the first accident)
Day 2 similar thing altho we increased the time between sitting on the potty. Hit and miss, clearly she didn’t know in advance a wee was coming, but happy to sit there and try which meant sometimes it went on by chance.
Day 3 I stopped putting her on it all the time and just explained if she needed to do a wee she should do it on the potty. We had one good moment: she asked to go when she had started to poo and we just about made it, she was over the moon bless her, otherwise all the wees (6) were accidents. Again she got upset and said things like ‘I missed the toilet train’ ‘oh no’ or even ‘sorry mummy’ (heart break!). Again I just said ‘no big deal’ and cleaned it up without a fuss and gave her a hug
Day 4 she had an accident first thing then big breakthrough: asked to go when she needed a wee. She then did a big wee in the potty - hooray - but then 3 wee accidents and a poo accident in the PM, often when standing right by the potty and not aware what was happening until it was too late.
Day 5 - similar. She had an accident first thing, then second wee she asked to go and made it in time, but then 3 wee accidents and 1 poo accident in the PM. She is still sad and disappointed if she doesn’t make it but less so; she is starting to get annoyed with me asking her if she needs to go (always a ‘no’ even if 5 mins before an accident). If I get her to sit on the potty nothing happens. In fact there have been a number of occasions where she has gone a couple of hours with nothing, so she has sat on the potty at my suggestion for say 10 minutes, nothing happens, and then a few minutes later once off the potty she has an accident.
There are no patterns to her wees and poos at all - it’s completely random, altho the gaps between wees have got much longer throughout the 5 days. I reeeally don’t want to give up as I just don’t think I’ll have to energy to do all this again with a new baby, and she so clearly understands everything and wants to take part. However it seems that after 5 days she still has zero idea that a wee or poo is coming, (with 3 exceptions which is what is making it so confusing) and I can’t help wondering if she’s just too young / not quite physiologically ready??
Why would you quit - it sounds like you're both doing really well? 5 days is still fairly early on and I think if she's grasped the concept, like you say, she just needs a bit more practice time. It takes a while to know when a wee is coming in advance and be able to hold it. I say keep up the good work! 🏆
I’d say she’s not ready and leave it. At s similar age, we tried with DS. Gave up after 3 days, but we’d planted a seed. 2 weeks later he asked for his pants. He was toilet (not potty) trained for wees and poos, night and day within a week. He was probably 75% there are on round 2, day 2, and 100% after a week.
DD said “pants today” at 2.3, and nailed it entirely within 48 hours. She was clearly ready. If the child is ready it’s quick and easy. If they don’t really get it, then they are not ready.
I would see if you get any more progress tomorrow/the next day. There are 2 main approaches and you have to go with what suits you best. The first is the slow progress but get there in 2-4 weeks. The second is wait until they get it in 2 days - but they’re generally older.
Sorry to be so contradictory with other responses.
Keep going! One suggestion-don’t ask for a bit. Just sit her on there at regular intervals-when wakes, before/ after snack or meal, before you go out etc. If you give a 2.5 yr old the option to say no they invariably will once the novelty has worn off.
Just for the record the waiting approach suited us best for both DC - we both work full time and floating around the house mopping up excrement wasn’t something we were prepared to do for days on end. DC1 took 36 hours to be fully trained poo and wee, DC2 took 20 minutes (not joking) both were just over 3.
We tried with my nearly 3yo a few weeks ago, had 50/50 success roughly so dropped it for now and will try again in a couple of months. If you have time to stay in and really want to train before baby arrives then she will probably get it if you persevere, depends on whether it's worth it to you or not. We are on dc2 and feel it's not worth it to have to stay in so will wait til it's easy! Dd1 trained immediately at 2.4 without an accident during first few days.
I'm with BikeRunSki
If they're randomly getting and not getting it at day 5 I'd give it a break & try again in a few weeks.
Sounds like you are both doing great, I would preserver with it. Just keep the thought of a toilet trained toddler once your baby arrives. I think now you have come this far it would be a shame and very confusing and disheartening to put her back in nappies.
You're nearly there, keep us posted.
Thanks so much everyone - it’s my first post on Mumsnet and am really humbled by you all taking the time to offer advice! Seems like it’s quite a split opinion which is interesting (and makes me feel better about not being sure what to do!) - I’ll give it a couple more days and see if there’s any noticeable progress, and if not I’ll try again in a few months when hopefully it’ll be a quicker process (altho I would SO love to have this whole thing out the way before sleep deprivation sets in with the new baby!!)
Hmmm if it was just poos she wasn’t getting I would say keep going. But if she’s not got wees at 5 days maybe give it a break - it only has to be for a week or two and try again and this might make all the difference. No harm done by trying this time.
I'd firstly recommend getting a hold of Who Gives a Crap potty training book as it's full of useful advice. Sounds to me like she's getting a bit resistant, which is a good thing! They all go through it. Mine was 2y 3m and there was a bit of progress the first few days, about 5 days of hellish resistance and then basically perfection ever since! It's so worth it - I wouldn't want to be doing it with a baby. She still resists a lot of the time if I ask her - I just have to keep my mouth shut and let her tell me when she needs to go (though I do insist on going before a car journey if she hasn't been in ages).
DS1 was 2y 9m - he had chicken pox and was uncomfortable in nappies and went from regular trying on the potty to asking to go in 2 or 3 days. I had tried previously and he did not get it - more accidents than not.
However I was pregnant at the time and he went backwards for a while when DC2 was born.
Sounds nothing like my potty training experience. When they are ready they just go to the potty and use it - no reminding or rewarding etc required. Maybe I was just lucky but from what I've read that's normal when they are really ready.
We have decided to postpone as she was still having continual accidents on Day 6 with absolutely no idea it was happening until it was too late. Can I ask did you use a particular method/book? I think we’re going to give it another crack over the Easter weekend...
Who Gives a Crap (book) is great - I found the recommendation on here originally and now I recommend it to everyone too.
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