Won't poo in toilet

[Cathy1984]

Hi everyone,
My 2 and half year old son came out of nappies around 3 weeks ago. He very quickly learnt to wee in the toilet and has been dry (of wees) at home and nursery since day 3. However he has been really hit and miss with poos. For the first week or so he just went in his pants. We then started to feel hopeful because he did a couple of poos in the toilet and responded well to being rewarded. However he has gone completely backwards! He has been holding it in for days or waiting until he is in his bed nappy and doing it in there. I was just thinking that it's not the end of the world if he does it in his nappy and then tonight he did it in his pants again. There is a barrier somewhere but not sure why. Any advice?

[Nautiloid]

In my experience this is really normal and it just takes longer.

[Cathy1984]

Thank you for your reply. I realise it is quite common but it is so frustrating! For the past week he has just been going for a poo when in bed. Not ideal but not the end of the world. But today whilst we were eating lunch he was squirming about, whinging and clearly needed a poo. I tried absolutely everything to get him to even just sit on the toilet or potty.... Ipad, offer to read to him/sing a song. He just screamed and refused to sit. He then insisted he was tired and wanted a nap. Thinking maybe he is just tired (we had been swimming) we put a nappy on him and put him in bed. The minute he had the nappy on he did a huge poo. So he knows he needs it but will not go on the toilet. We have tried books, sticker charts, phone apps. I am at a loss.

[Confusedbeetle]

Normal. many children will hang on until they have a nappy on. even much older than yours. Patience

[bathorshower]

DD wouldn't poo on the potty/toilet for a full year. We cleaned a lot of pants. We also did our best not to get frustrated - if he knows you're stressed, he may start withholding, which can lead to constipation and if really bad, a host of other problems. We did try bribery, but it didn't work. I think you just need to hang in there.

[Runningbutnotscared]

I was going to say have you tried Outland shameless bribery - but reading baths post I see that it doesn’t work for everyone.
Worked for us. I waited until ds saw a truck he really wanted in a shop then said if he went to he toilet he could have it.
Turned a corner for us, although he did expect a toy every time he pooed in a shop for a while after.

[Cathy1984]

Thank you so much for all of your replies. I really appreciate it and you are all right. I know in the logical part of my head that I need to be patient... It's just so hard not to worry about it. I think because my 4 year just got it straight away when we trained him at 2.5 it's hard not to compare. We have tried bribery and it doesn't work with him. However tonight he actually said he needed a poo and did a tiny bit on the potty (I imagine the rest will follow in the nappy but hey ho). I think I have maybe been too pushy. I am going to try and leave it to him a bit more. There will probably be lots of accidents but worth a try.

[DelphiMum]

My DS (2yrs9months) is at this stage. Waits for the nighttime nappy. We’ve tried: stickers, bubbles and iPad on toilet, full on bribery (bought him big toy he wanted but can’t access till a poo goes in the loo...it’s still sitting there). No avail...

[Cathy1984]

Oh dear, it is so frustrating! My son seems (although he's gone backwards before) to now be in a place where he will do a bit of a poo on the toilet but the rest of it comes out at bedtime. Small, steps but gradually getting there. I hope you're little one gets there soon x

[TigerQuoll]

Have you read Poo Goes To Pooland with him?

[Cathy1984]

Thanks for the reply. Yes, I have read poo goes to pooland and Polly poo. He is slightly better. He will sometimes go on the potty or toilet and hasn't had any accidents whilst in pants. However will still poo in his night nappy most evenings.

[Skyzalimit]

our nearly 4 yo is the same. Will only poo in a pull up. Should I be worried?