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Potty training help - should I stop or persevere?

(17 Posts)
alexturban Wed 27-Feb-19 12:53:39

Hello everyone! I'm training to potty train my DD but feel i'm completely failing sad She is just over 2 and I believe she is ready: she can put her pants down, she can stay a whole morning without weeing, she always wants to come with us when we are going to the toilet and is generally happy to sit on her potty or toilet seat but as soon as she feels a wee coming she asks for a cuddle and doesn't want to sit on her potty anymore. She starts crying and been very upset. She did relax a bit watching something on my phone and she did a wee in the potty couple of times like that but it doesn't seems to work anymore and she starts asking for my phone for just the sack of it. Is this a normal stage and I should persevere or is it a sign she isn't actually ready? should I give her the phone (we have a no phone policy at home) or do you think it is a bad idea and create a bad habit?

angelopal Wed 27-Feb-19 12:55:05

I would leave it for a while and then try again.

SweetAsSpice Wed 27-Feb-19 12:59:29

No expert, but would say phone might create a habit. Have you read any books about potty training with her? I used Pirate Pete's Potty for DS, there's a Princess Polly too. Has a button to press which makes a cheering sound, all very positive.

We did the 'no pants' method too. Did it in the summer. DS was 2.5 by then. Was trained very quickly. She might not be quite ready yet, there's a difference between being a bit resistant/reluctant and genuinely upset. Good luck!

Eesha Wed 27-Feb-19 20:57:23

I'm also wondering whether to stop. I use pull ups and put my child on the loo (no potties used) every hour. It has been a week now. She wees in the loo when I take her but also in the pull up. She is 2 and a half. I'm debating whether to put straight into pants so can get feeling of wetness more.

Elpheba Wed 27-Feb-19 21:00:53

I’ve just trained my DD (she is 2 3/4 though so much older) and followed the “oh crap” book recommended on here. It was tough and I felt like giving up on day 2 and there were tears from her and tantrums about going on the toilet etc. But it did suddenly click and the book said to trust them and not pester too much so I’ve tried to not constantly ask her if she needs a wee or take her etc. And she is now doing really well and coming to me if she needs a wee. Would really recommend the book and definitely think getting rid of the nappies/pull ups totally is the way to go as it makes it non negotiable and they just get on with it.

bebechoux Fri 01-Mar-19 15:00:16

thanks everyone for your help!
@Elpheba, i'm reading through the book you suggested... How long did it take for your DD to have that click. I know every children are different but just to have an idea. We are day 5 and she still resist the potty sad

Elpheba Fri 01-Mar-19 15:39:32

Hmmm I think it clicked in terms of number of accidents on day 4, but it took over a week to get over resisting the potty. It turned out she MUCH preferred the toilet with a seat insert on it so that helped enormously and we did give her a small sweet/smartie every wee to start with. I also made myself take a step back in making her go or try so much. I had to learn to trust my instincts when she definitely did need to go and then really say it was time to go and try but I could only enforce that when I stopped pestering her so much. It was hard though and I felt guilty when I made her sit and try and nothing came out. We are now exactly 2 weeks since beginning and since Sunday has been amazing- 3 days with no accidents, 3 days with 1 accident, none so far today (touch wood) but more importantly she is self initiating sometimes and telling me she needs a wee- we had to get out of the pool in swimming to do one!
So definitely keep trying but also don’t worry if you decide she needs longer as she is younger. Good luck!

Jackshouse Fri 01-Mar-19 15:41:48

We did the no crap method (not the insane bits!) just after 2 but it sounds like she just isn’t ready. I would leave a potty laying around for to sit on if she fancies it.

Eesha Fri 01-Mar-19 16:38:58

Has anyone done the oh crap method with the toilet rather than potties. I tried putting mine on the loo every hour but still found they weed in their pull ups so now I've gone down the pants route but lots of accidents.

Jackshouse Fri 01-Mar-19 16:55:58

I don’t think you will ever be able to potty train in pull up as they will never learn when they are weeing. Lots of people go straight to toilets but it means they can’t do it independently and potties are a much better position for pooing.

Mummyof2x Sat 02-Mar-19 17:58:21

with both of my children I allowed them to use the toilet when they was ready . They tend to start removing their nappies themselves and show no interest in having them on nomore .
Both my children were not two much older about 3ish and abit . For me it meant less accident, whilst other parents who started earlier their children ended up having more accidents and still didn't grasp it . Nurseries others parents and health visitors tend to pressaurise you to start earlier than this . Every child develops at different rates, I always followed my own rules which is allow my children to express themselves they no longer want to wear nappies and in order for them to not wear them they need to use the potty or toilet .

Mummyof2x Sat 02-Mar-19 18:23:42

Also to add by three and abit both my children were accident free and nappy free. I put pull on up until 3 and half as protection and when they didn't wet the bed for say a month they wouldn't wear them at nights . Due to them being picked up for nurseries and for ease I would send my daughter in pulls up which she never used it was just reassurance for her if an accident happened than go ahead pee in your pull up. Neither of my children used a potty although i brought one they was trained on a toilet .( I used a 2 in 1 toilet seat that had a child seat built in )

Eesha Sat 02-Mar-19 19:06:27

If you felt your child wasn't ready yet, would you put back into pull ups till ready? Or is this taking a step back? I tried pants for a couple of days but wondering whether to persevere or just let them get back into pull ups for a few more months. They are 2 and a half.

witherwings Sat 02-Mar-19 19:22:30

I would wait if I were you, it doesn't sound like she is ready.
Mine both told me when they wanted to wear pants. One came back from nursery at 2 and half and said her friend doesn't wear nappies and she didn't want to either. A couple of accidents and dry at night at the same time. Second DD just went off one day, took her nappy off and put pants on and came back and told me she wasn't wearing any nappies any more. No accidents at all and also dry at night at the same time. She was 3.

crazychemist Tue 05-Mar-19 07:13:02

You could wait, or push through it, depending on how upset your DC is. My DD had 2 days of having a little panic just before a wee, it was like she pd forgotten how to let go so was desperate to go and couldn’t. Bare bottom for a coupe of days solved it (she was just shy of 2.5).

I’d be wary of going straight to a toilet unless youve got something they can brace their feet on, it’s hard learning to poo with feet dangling when you’ve only ever done it squatting or standing. We have a potty (got it in Argos) that you can take the seat off and then put it in the loo and the rest of the potty is then a step/footrest for them. Worked well for us.

bebechoux Tue 05-Mar-19 13:00:29

Well done to your little one and to you Elpheba she is doing great!! Thank you all for your comments.
I'll postpone for few weeks as she was getting really upset about it. She could stay the whole morning without a wee, then became desperate for it but couldn't let go. She would ask to be in my arms whenever she needed to wee but even then could let go. She would wait for her nap when she had her nappy on to release herself. She was resisting to everything so I put her nappy back on and she was still getting upset when she was weeing, wanting to be in my arms and crying. I'll wait 2/3 weeks and try again bare bottom.
I've got a small potty and a toilet seat for her with some step where she can rest her feet so she can choose when she prefers.
hopefully second time will be better!

renomama Wed 06-Mar-19 23:30:42

@bebechoux we're having the exact same thing. It's so reassuring to hear it's not just us!
My DD is just over 2, can dress herself and will declare when she needs or has done a poo. After a successful week using the toilet at nursery but with pull ups on we switched to pants. She now seems to hold it and hold it then resists sitting on the potty or toilet (which she's normally very happy with) until she wets herself. She then gets really really upset that she's wet. Even when I put a nappy back on her she cries when she wee's.
It's so upsetting for all of us but I just don't know what to do. Helpfully nursery are being totally inconsistent in their approach with them saying on Monday she should go back into nappies for a few week's but today at pick up she had pants on and had apparently had them on all day!
I hope it works out for you x

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