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i've failed my daughter...Is there any going back?!

(12 Posts)
TiredMummy3000 Sat 12-Jan-19 17:38:36

Hi all,

I have failed my daughter. I gave into pressure from nursery and friends with perfect children, and started potty training my daughter before she was ready. And i knew she wasn't ready!! I allowed myself to be talked into feeling like she was abnormal for not having trained already - she's only 25 months!! Not only did i do this once, i did it twice!

First time was about 6 weeks ago. We introduced a potty, she got really excited and had two wee's in a row on it... so we got really exited too and took her out to the shops to buy new knickers, talked about being a big girl, bought little treats etc. By the end of the day she was completely petrified of the potty and the next day she didn't touch it, just wee'd on the floor all day.

Ihe second time (today) I thought, lets give it another go. She'd made friends with the potty again since last time and had had another couple of wee's in it during short nappy free times. She'd started talking about being a big girl and generally giving all the right signs. So yesterday we watched the Princess Polly video, got a fancy new travel potty out, talked about all the right things... and today we've been naked from the waist down all day. She's pee'd on the floor ten times (and we always down play it, and stay positive) and now won't go anywhere near her potty. When she pees on the floor she thinks it's hilarous. If i gently try to sit her on it, she cries and tries to escape, and of course i let her. If i encourage her she just ignores me! :D

So... my question is; have I started too soon? And is it ok to give up again? Or am i going to confuse her even more?! Do i have to just suck it up and persevere? I'm worried she'll develop a phobia!

OP’s posts: |
Owletterocks Sat 12-Jan-19 17:40:36

I would give up and leave it until she is more than ready. We are still suffering the consequences of training our 6 year old too early sad

spreadingchestnuttree Sat 12-Jan-19 17:43:04

You haven't failed her - don't worry! And 25 months is not too young to give it a try. Relax, ease off for a bit and then try again.

Mumof1andacat Sat 12-Jan-19 17:46:20

It's quite young tbh. I left my ds til just over 3. He took to it straight away. He had much better communication at that age too.

Jellybean100 Sat 12-Jan-19 17:46:37

You haven’t failed her, how are we meant to know when our children are ready or not without trying? 25 months is not too young but it is also not too old to not be trained so take the pressure off yourself.
I would persist for a few more days around the house with no bottoms/pants on and keep offering potty/toilet every 15 mins.
If there’s no improvement in a few days then go back to nappies and try again in a few months, no harm done. Keep the potty out around the house and regularly talk about it with no pressure for her to perform and then she may start asking for it in the future.
But don’t give up- it’s only day 1! X

Wallywobbles Sat 12-Jan-19 17:50:21

Why is she scared of it? DD1 was done against my wishes before she was ready and it took forever. Dd2 asked for no more nappies at 18 months and was clean immediately night and day. One child is not like another.

Wallywobbles Sat 12-Jan-19 17:50:47

That said 1 day isn't giving it much of a chance.

donkir Sat 12-Jan-19 17:52:46

Having worked in childcare for 19 years my advice to anyone is to wait until their child is ready. How do you know they're ready? They tell you. "Mummy I don't want to wear a nappy today"
Have a potty around the house but don't make a huge thing of it.
She's only just turned 2 so to some is considered young. I'd wait a bit.

CajunShrimp Sat 12-Jan-19 17:53:17

You do need to give it more of a chance - my DD did 3 days of wee-ing on the floor before she got it (aged 2.5 though). Not too young if you think she’s ready but remember you are trying to change what she has done literally her whole life so of course she won’t get it the first day. Good luck!

bluesaturday Sat 12-Jan-19 17:53:19

No need for a dramatic title! It's only day 1 keep persevering, lots of praise and treats. My daughter had just turned 2 when she potty trained and it took a good couple of weeks so don't give up yet. Good luck.

Hezz Sat 12-Jan-19 18:06:20

Try her on the toilet, hold her on it. She might prefer it, my DD did.

TiredMummy3000 Sun 13-Jan-19 16:59:06

Thanks bluesaturday, the title was a little tongue in cheek! grin

Day two hasn't gone any better, lots more "accidents" and zero potty or toilet action.

Thank you all for your advice, i'd guess it was roughly 50/50 for those suggesting stop and try later, and those suggesting persevere. That makes me think there's no right answer and I just need to go with my gut. So i think we're going to stop our attempt for now and try again when my little one gives us more sign that it's time.

Wish us luck! Thanks again everyone! x

OP’s posts: |

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