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Witholding wee at nursery, any ideas

(13 Posts)
Thecomfortador Tue 11-Dec-18 22:24:18

Ds has recently turned 3. He is mostly fine at home with getting to the toilet, we have occasional accident but we can generally go out for a couple of hours without needing the loo.

However he goes to nursey two days per week, and absolutely will not do anything on the toilet. Today they said he was crying on the loo and just wouldn't wee. He told me too he was crying. I don't know where to go with this, they've said to continue sending him in in pants for now but worried he'll eventually get a urine infection if he continually witholds. He also won't go on any other toilet eg mil's or supermarket.

Any ideas what to do, or not do? Leave him be and accept we'll be having to change his trousers frequently until he is ready, continue with nappies just for nursery? I've tried talking gently to him about it but he just insists he is not weeing at nursery. I would be grateful for any insights or suggestions which have worked for others.

OP’s posts: |
Jenala Tue 11-Dec-18 22:29:40

How does he wee at home? My DS3 was hysterical at nursery and not going, withholding til he wet himself despite being totally dry at home. Then I realised at home he sometimes likes me to leave him alone or not look at him while he wees (not always but sometimes). I asked them to let him go in alone at nursery as I thought maybe he wanted privacy even more with people he was less close to and it solved the problem.

I'd personally just pack plenty of clothes as I think it's a confusing backwards step to put them on sometimes in the day. Maybe just keep discussing it and reassuring that wees at nursery are fine, toilet is the same etc. When you're out and about using public loos say ooh is this like the toilet at nursery etc. It's a tough one.

RobinHobb Tue 11-Dec-18 22:29:51

Would like to hear any responses to this as my dd - 3yo - is doing the same. Had a course of antibiotics already for a UTI as she won’t pee in nappies now either...

30birthdayholiday Tue 11-Dec-18 22:36:35

I think there are story books you can read to children about toileting and how we all need to 'go'
Think you can find some on amazon, might be worth a try to help him understand?

Thecomfortador Wed 12-Dec-18 09:15:44

That's a good point Jenala he does wee on his own at home and I can imagine he feels a bit of pressure if someone is standing there telling him to wee. He's never been one for going to the loo when we suggest, it has to be when he is ready. I shall discuss with his keyworker.

RobinHobb it's hard isn't it, not knowing what is the best way to help them. Parenting involves being psychic more than I realised.

30birthdayholiday (going somewhere nice?) I meant to look for books so will do that this morning while I have some peace. Good idea.

He's so independent - insists he can hold his own hand when crossing the road 😁. I'm quickly trying to learn the art of toddler persuasion.

OP’s posts: |
Thecomfortador Wed 12-Dec-18 09:16:26

Meant to say thank you for your responses.

OP’s posts: |
cakeandteajustforme Wed 12-Dec-18 09:33:43

Chocolate button bribery?

Thecomfortador Wed 12-Dec-18 10:23:44

This morning I've sent him off with promise of a treat if he does a wee on the toilet at nursery. I don't know if he will connect when the time comes for him to have a wee, he possibly won't remember, but we'll see. Dad took him in so he probably didn't tell his kw so she could bribe him. He does like a chocolate button.

OP’s posts: |
30birthdayholiday Thu 13-Dec-18 13:17:36

Haha, thanks for asking if we were going anywhere, I created this username to ask for opinions/advice on where to go for my
Holiday.... still haven't decided!🤔😩

Hope you find something to help.

Jenala Thu 13-Dec-18 20:31:10

How did he do today?

Thecomfortador Fri 14-Dec-18 08:21:53

Just the same Jenala, they put a nappy on him to nap after lunch so he did his wees then. I think we're in for the long haul on this one. Even at Nana's which he knows well he wet through. Hey ho.

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WhatILoved Thu 20-Dec-18 23:46:45

My younger one did this for a few weeks. Also at nursery 2days a week. It just took time. One thing that helped was him "showing us" the loo one day when we went to pick him up. Did this a few times at drop off and pick up. He doesn't like others pulling his pants down etc and because we trained him early, this was a bit difficult.

GreenTulips Thu 20-Dec-18 23:49:29

Can you visit the lop with him at drop off and pick up?

Bribery works wonders

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