How and When to Start?

[TwittleBee]

Hi there,

So DS is 15 months (coming up to 16 months) and we were considering starting to Potty Train him maybe over the Xmas break as I'll have 2 weeks off with him. Is 2 weeks long enough and will he be too young? (my DM claims I was dry by 16 months!?)

I'm not sure how to even begin this process! We have noticed though that DS hides when he is doing a poo and then will either say "poo" or will hand us a nappy when he has finished? Is that a good sign? Urgh just dreading this so much haha.

TIA x

[teaandbiscuitsforme]

Read 'Oh Crap' - it recommends training between 20 and 30 months. It sounds like there are lots of positive signs there if he's hiding for a poo. My 19mo does that too and I'd really like to train in the next month or two but it's just not a good time with work and a new nursery unfortunately! We might go for Christmas too.

And it doesn't have to be as bad as you fear it might be!

[TwittleBee]

Ah so DS will be only a month younger than what they suggest so should be fine for us to start at Xmas then. Thank you!

[Monkeymonstermum]

Do not let your mother pressure you. People of that generation had terry towelling nappies or crap early versions of disposable ones. It is not a tick box that you win prizes for doing early. Health visitors tend to suggest waiting later these days. The age you are talking about doing it is on the MUCH younger side. Some will manage, yes. Many simply do not have the physiological ability to hold onto their wee for long enough at that age. I’d say the average of us/friends has been 2 yr 5 - 2 yr 8 Mths. Having said that, the few that left it until nearer 3 had a much easier time of it as the the children tended to be dry day and night within a day or two. I simply do not see the point in doing it early and making life difficult for yourself if they’re (in the majority and) not ready yet.

Have you spoken to the childcare setting? If nursery then I’d take their advice very strongly as they’re likely to have seen hundreds go through this should be far better at giving you an idea of they think it’s a good idea (than some random strangers on www who haven’t met your child). The people I know who did it earlier still had accidents regularly a year later......

[Monkeymonstermum]

And it’s very different him telling you he’s done a poo than knowing one is coming....and poo in pants is not nice to deal with 🤢

[Frazzled2207]

I agree he's showing signs but I think that's still very young. Both my sons were very nearly 3.
In my experience if they're ready they're ready and it's plain sailing. Both of my sons got it straight away and we had virtually no accidents once they were properly ready. I might have been able to train them sooner but by waiting it really was a painless experience.

For example when we first tried with my youngest he really wasn't getting it and we just had accident after accident after accident and after 3 days we gave up. However only about 3 weeks after that he declared he didn't want to wear nappies any more and that was it then. I had a friend who persevered through the accidents and I am not kidding it took her and her son a year! With an awful lot of tears, frustrations and accidents along the way.

[Frazzled2207]

Btw I do not know any boys that were dry before 2 and a half. I know some girls who were just turned 2 when trained.

[MozzchopsThirty]

IME most boys are closer to 3 when ready to potty train
It should take no longer than 4/5 days when a child is ready, if you're ploughing on for weeks then they're clearly not getting it

[teaandbiscuitsforme]

My DD trained at 22 mo and was dry at night by 26mo. I am well aware of what a child needs to be capable of in order to potty train and I personally don't think my 19mo DS is that far away. Why would it take weeks to train him? I'd expect to be on it for 2-3 days but we were out and about with DD by day 4 and she was back in nursery the next week (she'd had a week off)

IMO there's a huge spectrum of people's interpretation of being ready. Some people take it to mean being able to learn where to wee and poo; some people take it to mean the child self- initiated training. IMO the second is the child virtually training themselves and agree with a lot of the points made in Oh Crap about trusting in children and valuing their dignity.

Most people also assume training 'early' means sitting on the potty for hours, forcing the child to wee and it taking weeks if not month. Oh Crap is absolutely not like that in the slightest. The method is about using when the child wees and poos (because they already know how to do that) and teaching them where to put it (potty/toilet). It can be very child led in that respect.

There are also interesting points made that the later you leave it, the more you have to battle.

I don't mind people doing it however they want to but I am fed up of people telling others that it's better to wait without understanding 'early' training. I don't agree with how it was done in the past but that's absolutely not what is being suggested. There's also a lot of advice to wait because it's easier - but I would question who is it easier for? The child or the adult? I certainly found it a lot easier once DD was trained and I can't imagine having to deal with her in nappies now at 3.5yrs. I know I could train DS in a couple of days and it most certainly wouldn't be forced. He doesn't want nappies on and easily holds his wee for an hour with no nappy on. He's more than ready.

OP I'd read the book and think about it from there.

[TwittleBee]

Thank you everyone for replying! Seems quite controversial on different ways and when to potty train! Rather interesting, might actually start delving more into this all (love a good research if its all conflicting! Geek alert! haha)

I actually ended up calling my mum last night as I was interested in how she done it and she said it took her 3 days to actually potty train me (same for one of my sisters) but she had introduced the potty when I was 14 months as just an object to get used to seeing and she made a deal out of her going for a wee / poo and let me see her going to the loo.

She did inform me that my youngest sister wasnt ready at 16 months though, she tried doing it with her at 16 months and she didnt get it so she waited a couple of months and then all was good. Although interestingly, after a bout of tummy upset my sister then refused to go on the potty so they had to change tactics and move her onto the loo.

Oh and dont worry, if DS isnt ready for it then I will obviously wait! Just thought it might be good to do it if I have the time off.

[teaandbiscuitsforme]

You see one of the things in Oh Crap is not introducing a potty before you train because of the mixed messages it sends.

Definitely include it in your research OP, I think you'd like it!

[TwittleBee]

teaandbiscuitsforme haha okay I shall purchase it once pay day rolls round!

[anotherangel2]

I loved the Oh crap book but I don’t agree with everything.

We had a potty around before potty training and DD had seen them at nursery as the whole of her nursery room were potty training at the same time. This spurred DD on and just after her second birthday she started taking her trousers down and nappy off to wee.