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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Struggling with potty training! HELP

14 replies

2infinity · 17/08/2018 07:15

Ok.. so I think I completely underestimated how difficult potty training was going to be. I've heard stories of people training their toddlers in like 3 days!!! I am months into this and getting no where so I'm desperately needing advice.

My ds1 is 2 years and 8 months, I am sure he is ready as he seems to do a lot better in nursery.I have 3 different pottys scattered around the house, 2 of which he was excited to pick himself. He also has a reward chart which worked for a week then he got bored of it and stopped using the potty again. At nursery he does pretty well and even asks on occasion to go. At home however it is a screaming match every morning when taking off his night time pull up to put on big boy pants. He gets really upset and has a tantrum screaming he wants pull ups on. When I finally get the pants on him I try to regularly place him on the potty. Again another screaming match and even sometimes runs away from me or goes ridged when I try to put him on the potty. He knows when he needs the toilet because he will ask for a pull up on. I have been advised by friends to let him wet himself because he will hate the feeling and start using the potty. But no, he doesn't seem to mind the feeling at all and cries when I take off his wet clothes to put on fresh ones.

I am at my wits end. He doesn't seem remotely interested.
Where am I going wrong? This is the first time I've ever potty trained so I might be doing it all wrong but when asking the health visitor, friends and his nursery they all advise to do what I am doing but it's not working. He will be 3 soon and he's not even nearly there.

Please help!

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afreshnewname · 17/08/2018 07:30

If he is getting worked up and screaming for his pull ups I'd suggest letting him wear them a bit longer, you will end up making it a battle and then it's no fun for anyone.

Maybe he isn't ready yet, give him a few weeks and try again

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afreshnewname · 17/08/2018 07:33

Forgot to add, when you try again take him shopping to choose his own big boy pants and tell him you will be trying to wear them like a big boy tomorrow, be very enthusiastic and excited , you need him to think it's going to be fun and he won't be surprised when he wakes up one morning and you give him pants

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Swissgemma · 17/08/2018 07:38

He’s not ready. Don’t make it a fight!!! We left potties around around at that age and then randomly my ds started talking about pants at 2yr 10months... we trained him over a weekend and after day 2 have had only a handful of accidents (he is now 3yrs month). We used a sticker chart (a bought one) and gave a present when it was full. We also randomly gave small presents if we felt he had been doing well (so first use of the potty without prompting, first poo, first perfect day.) I think he was just ready.

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bellinisurge · 17/08/2018 07:44

People who claim to sort it in 3 days are lying. They have poo and wee all over their floor and clothes. Ok, a bit childish but not far from the truth.
Don't beat yourself up.

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2infinity · 17/08/2018 07:52

Thanks for the quick replies! The reason I thought he was ready is that he does well training at nursery. I will try putting him back in pull ups for a few weeks then try again as suggested. He did pick his own pants and potty and was really excited about it and did pretty well the first week using a sticker reward chart then it was as if he lost interest.

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Normandy144 · 17/08/2018 07:56

As a previous poster said, he isn't ready. Sure, he's showing some very positive signs, but if you have been trying for months without success, then it's time to take a break. Definitely keep the potties around, but put him in pull ups and encourage any time he wants to try. I have a 5 year old and a 2.5 year old. It was 3rd time lucky with my eldest DD. We started trying around 2.10 months and then again at 3. She finally got it aged 3.2 years. My youngest is showing way more interest and she is 2.5. But I'm still going to leave it until its convenient for us and I think the longer we wait the quicker it will be.

It's honestly not worth the screaming matches. Just take a break for a few months.

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Swissgemma · 17/08/2018 08:17

We devoted a long weekend to it... day three he was accident free. Since then there have been a handful of accidents in 3 months. But he was ready, obviously!

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vcrees6 · 17/08/2018 08:28

DS was potty trained in 3 days at 3 years 1 month. Did the stay in all day with no underpants or trousers method. He was ready and it was really easy and we never had any accidents.

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Keepsmiling1 · 17/08/2018 08:29

I potty trained DD1 just after her second birthday and it was really easy. Took a couple of days and that was it. So when DD2 was 2.5 I thought I would try with her. She was a completely different story!! I tried for 3 days but she was getting so upset that I stopped. I tried again before her third birthday but she was the same (only tried for a day that time). I decided to leave it for a while. Then when she was 3.2 years she said to me one night she wanted to do a wee on the toilet. I took her and she did it. She had one accident the next day but apart from that has never had an accident. I did keep a nappy on her at night but she never used it so a couple of weeks later I stopped putting them on her at night too.

I was worried because she was much older than DD1 but it was honestly the easiest thing because she was ready!

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anotherangel2 · 17/08/2018 08:40

I would disagree. You to spend at least 3 to 4 days only focusing on potty training. He needs to be naked or at least from the waist down either in the house or garden with a potty in the same room was you. Don’t put him on the potty unless he is actually weeing.

Try reading the Oh crap book.

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InDubiousBattle · 17/08/2018 08:43

He's not ready. Don't make it a stressful, screaming battle, it's not worth it. Wait, try again in a few months.

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Figgygal · 17/08/2018 08:45

You can do it in a weekend when they're ready ds was 2yr 11 months and it was miraculous but a month previously when tried it was a disaster.

Put him back in pull ups for now and save yourself some grief.

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Serafinaaa · 17/08/2018 13:34

I tried a few times and wasn't getting anywhere so I got waited until he told me he wanted to at age 3.5. He was generally dry after the first day as he was self motivated.

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2infinity · 18/08/2018 08:55

Thanks everyone for all the advice. I think I will give it a rest just now and go back to it after our holiday he will just be coming up on 2.10 years then. I did do the naked thing but he held his pee all day and would scream for a pull up. I had to physically hold him on the potty and it just didn't feel right that he was so upset.