Do I push it?

[weekfour]

My middle DC is 3 years and two months. He’s totally resistant to the idea of a potty.

For context. We have a 9 month old. He’s lovely with her but seems to be struggling with his loss of ‘baby’ status. He’ll often want to sit in my knee or he’ll ask me to carry him ‘like a baby’.

My eldest is six. She is dry through the day just about. We’ve had an awful lot of intervention. Have changed schools due to lack of support with toileting in Reception (currently Y1). She’s been diagnosed with a small bladder. Hospital seem to think it will get better eventually. She’s still in pull ups at night- they’re never dry. Ever. School are excellent but it’s been a long road and she has a toileting timetable that they adhere to.

My question is about whether I should be pushing toileting with the three year old. He hates the idea. I think partly because he wants to be the baby, and partly because he’s overheard numerous conversations about his older sister and relates the potty with tears. He’s due to start school nursery in September and all his peers will be trained. My eldest is tough and doesn’t even notice if people are name calling, but he is very sensitive and would be affected. They’re chalk and cheese. The only thing they have in common is a hatred of toilets.

I know I should wait for signs of readiness. He can comprehend just fine. Should I just bin the nappies and force my way through?

[TheDinosaurRoars]

I would wait for signs of readiness.

[weekfour]

Like him saying he wants to go?
Should I mention it? Or just leave it for a bit?

[Mol1628]

If there are no other issues I’d just go for it. From now on we wear pants. Don’t make a fuss. Tell him wees and poo goes in the potty-or toilet if you prefer. Don’t pressure, clean up accidents without a fuss, sure he will soon figure out it’s better to stay dry.

[weekfour]

Thanks both. I’m so confused.

[Biscusting]

I like the ‘oh crap’ potty training book. It broke the stages of training down so I could understand and relate better to the DC. My youngest is 2 and we’re starting with her.

I’m never sure of the signs of readiness, but I just start gently as see how they progressed.

The first stage was going from ‘oh look i’ve Pee’d’ to ‘i’m Peeing’ then progressing to ‘i’m Going to pee’

One of the things that surprised me in the book was that waiting too long ie nearer the age of three, could present problems. The sooner the better. I guess if you are excluding medical issues an SEN then I think that might be good advice. So i’d say go for it!

[Biscusting]

The book als suggested you start with letting them run around naked from the waist down and looking for their cues that they need to Pee.
Then I think you look to progress through the stages I mentioned above. If the are not ready I presume they never move on from the ‘look i’ve Peed stage’

[weekfour]

Thanks. I’ve ordered the book.

I think me and DH will feel better with a plan. It all feels like one wrong step could lead us down the path of the eldest. I’m sick to death of nappies x3. We have three bins, despite using reusable on the baby. I can’t wait to reclaim my front garden.