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HELP My 3 year old has regressed

(3 Posts)
silver1977 Fri 18-May-18 18:09:58

Don't worry too much, although inconvenient it is completely normal ime. I am an early years worker and we have a few children who do this. Parents/us think they are sorted and then go through a stage of wetting again for no apparent reason. I wonder if parents/us get a little lax in reminders as we think they're fully sorted? You have tried really hard by the sounds of it. I would personally maybe do as PP said, over the top praise with hits and completely ignore the misses. No chats, no attention at all go and scream in another room and just hope that in time she gets it. They do go through phases for no obvious reason, sometimes laziness, sometimes too engrossed in what they're doing etc. You are certainly not failing as a mummy, it sounds quite the opposite. halo

Wineandpyjamas Fri 18-May-18 17:40:38

Hi - no real advice but just to let you know I could have written your post myself a couple of weeks ago. My 3 yo dd has been potty trained since December and very rarely had accidents. Although we had her in a nappy at night she was dry for weeks on end. I’m currently expecting my second and am now 4 days overdue.

I think with us the regression was anxiety about new baby because suddenly out of nowhere she was wet in her nappy again in the morning whereas before she’d woken us up in the night to take her to the loo. Then she started having day accidents - at one point her nursery teacher said she’d done so many that day she’d gone through all 4 changes of clothes I’d packed (like to be prepared!)

Her reaction was similar to your dd’s - she’d either smile, diminish it or just ignore it. Due to the fact I’m so pregnant I found it hard to stay calm with her sometimes, especially if my dh wasn’t home to help. I’m ashamed to say I lost it at her once and although I apologised right afterwards I think it shocked us both. After that I looked online for advice and it seemed that waiting it out was best.

So now - I stay calm. I ask her if she wants a wee and if she says no I don’t make her go (even though I often don’t believe her!). I keep telling her how good big girls do wees on the toilet. She knows if she does a wee on the toilet she’ll get a treat (of some description). I make sure when she does go to the toilet to make a HUGE big deal out of it, just as I now don’t make a deal out of her having an accident.

Touch wood but after a couple of weeks we’re getting there! She hasn’t had one accident today and seems very proud of herself when she goes on the toilet.

I really hope some of this helps, I’m aware it’s a bit of a ramble but wanted to let you know you’re absolutely not alone. I know you can feel like you want to tear your hair out! It will get better! And get some wine in for the bad days wink

mlom Sat 05-May-18 19:47:45

My DD has been potty trained from 2 years and 3 months (Feb 17) and has always been excellent at either using the potty or toilet and is just normal to have an occasional mishap.
In Dec 17she asked if she could stop wearing a pull-up at night as she wanted to be a big girl.
From Dec she had 1 night-time accident a week I couldn't be prouder.
Then at the end of Feb this year she started having a couple of accidents a week just before she woke up (I check through night) no bother I know sometimes it can happen and would just get her up change the bed and her bed time wear.
Then from March she started just standing there and weeing in her pants at nursery aswell as at home. It has continuously got worse
Today I have lost count how many clean ups I've done.
She will just sit on the floor and wet next to a potty or worse wet on a toy.
I am now at a loss as I've tried all the below and I don't think I could handle putting her in a pull-up as that was never the way she was originally trained.
-Cleaning up the mess and changing clothes and saying that big girls use the potty/toilet
-sitting her on the potty or toilet every 30 mins sometimes resulting in a meltdown
-ignoring/ avoid eye contact wait until she moves from area and clean
and Using a reward chart for all good behaviour non given for using toilet as my HV thinks she could be looking for reaction
-Sent a sample to doctors all clear (MARCH TIME)
-rewarding for using potty/toilet
-Talking to her firmly
-Heart to heart convo asking if Mummy/Daddy could do anything to help her and if anything has upset her and asking if she could tell me why she is doing it

My DD her reactions to the accidents vary
-Smiles
-Puts a sad face on
-Me clean it
-Sorry Mummy
-Hides when wetting
-watches herself wetting
-it's water!

Whilst typing this my DD has gone straight to the toilet no comment. I am at a complete loss, I can think of nothing that has happened/changed in her life that could cause her to do this and I feel I'm failing as a Mummy I would appreciate any help or advise

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