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Sooo how do you potty train a child that hides?!

(29 Posts)
Womblewobble Mon 02-Apr-18 16:38:50

Day 1 of “oh crap”. DD is naked from waist down. She held her wee, very calmly, this morning for 3 hours (we have a camel it seems). Then when she trotted to a corner out it came in 2 seconds flat. Didn’t get her to the potty. We are now 4 wees later (she def has control) and each wee seems to be done as she is leaving the room/ going to a corner/ generally out of sight. No wees in the living room or on our laps/sofa etc. We have missed every sodding wee!!! She tends to do massive short bursts and I can’t bloody get there!
The book insists there are signs. But what about if the sign is they edge out of the room? When I follow her with the potty she changes her mind.
So, I have learnt that a) she can control her bladder and b) she seems to need privacy.

I now have the potty in the hallway and each time she wees on the floor I have pointed and told her that it needs to go in the potty. She is 33months. I think she is ready because she tells me when the nappy is dirty, has been taking her nappy off at the childminder around other potty trained children to copy and she understands us.
I know it is only day 1 but the way the book reads we should be at least getting her to a potty in time!

The last wee, she went to the potty in the hall and I pretended not to look. She walked over to it, pointed then shut the door and pissed on the floor hmm So I feel it isn’t behaviour not a lack of understanding. She isn’t a girl that likes change so I knew this would be an effort.

Any encouragement? She is getting tired and I’m getting ratty. We have cabin fever. I’m not giving up yet I’m just finding it hard sad

OP’s posts: |
teaandbiscuitsforme Mon 02-Apr-18 18:40:40

She definitely knows what she's doing. She wants privacy which is a huge step forward but she's now testing the boundaries.

I did Oh Crap and i think if she's moving for privacy then that is her sign. I think she's beyond a foot wiggle and move her to the potty kind of thing, probably because of her age. I would possibly try being blasé about it - 'I can see you need a wee. The potty is right there' and then walk away.

Or try an insert on the toilet rather than the potty if she wants to be more grown up about it?

Womblewobble Mon 02-Apr-18 18:48:08

Totally agree she knows what she is doing! By 5pm she was just in tears and exhausted and begging for bedtime. She is now fast asleep.

I’m definitely not giving in. I will certainly try your first suggestion tomorrow. If she continues to ignore me then I will be putting her on the potty every 30mins and keeping her there. Or being stern with her. Argh! Never know what is for the best! Thanks for the input though smile

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RandomMess Mon 02-Apr-18 18:59:21

Unless she's tiny get her to use the loo.

mrspapalazarou Mon 02-Apr-18 22:17:45

I don't have any advice I'm afraid but I'm just sending hugs because I'm in a similar situation and finding it tough!

DD1 is also 33mths and trying to do Oh Crap book with her. Have done 3 naked days and seen improvement but it's very up and down. I'm looking for the signs but sometimes she will be sat on the sofa or on the floor so I can't see and by the time I realise she's weeing and I've sat her on the potty, she's stopped.

When she is stood up and I've noticed her crossing her legs, I suggest she sits on her potty which most of the time she will, but a wee won't come straight away, it will come after ages sitting there which is good because it saves clearing up but the book advises against randomly sitting and waiting on the potty because they don't make the connection between feeling the need to go and therefore sitting on the potty, so they don't always realise they've done it. However, when this happened this pm, she did look down into the potty in amazement when the wee came out so I'm taking that as a positive step.

Like your DD, by the end of the day she has been cranky and so tired, she actually asked to go to bed at 6:30 tonight, unheard of!

I'm going to try and persevere, tomorrow is another day. Have whatever you need to get you through the day (for me it was an Easter egg) and I hope it gets better for you thanks

TheDeuteragonist Mon 02-Apr-18 22:24:54

I've been doing the same with DD this weekend. I've begun to learn her tactics; she will try and engineer a game of hide and seek, or make me pretend to sleep. Then she will trot off to the dining room and piss all over the floor gin

My way of solving this probably isn't Oh Crap! sanctioned, but it's worked. Whenever she looks like she's edging into the other room, I ask her if she needs a wee-wee. Sometimes she says yes and will come and sit on the potty. Most of the time she says no and continues to edge. So then I just say 'Well, if you don't need a wee wee, that's okay, but if you go in their and wee on the floor mummy will be cross'. She generally accepts this (without anxiety or stress) and will come and sit on the potty. I then leave the room and she wees.

It's not perfect, she peed on the sofa today, but it seems to not stress her out, even though it sounds harsh. She's a lot easier to get sat down for a poo, perhaps because the urge is different. She generally tenses up and looks worried and says I need a poo and I say 'well go and sit on the potty then' and she does.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Mon 02-Apr-18 22:27:38

We’re just potty training ds also 33m. First three/four days were ridiculous and I was despairing. For us it moved pretty quickly from “ridiculous” to “better” and now a month later to “done”. Don’t panic just yet and try not to show frustration (easier said than done!). Hopefully this time next week it will feel much better!

Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 07:28:12

Ah thanks so much all! God reading those made me feel better grin ok so I’m awake with renewed energy! Today I won’t hover unless she begins to edge out of the room. I’m also going to block off the little spaces in the living room that she can wee in (like having a cat isn’t it!) so that it is more obvious to me when she is needing to go.
When I see her edging off I will TELL her she is sitting on the potty for a wee and I will try reading a book to her. I know from yesterday that if I’m too chilled and leave her to have privacy to wee she will just jump up too quickly. Although I will give her a chance to prove me wrong 😀

I’m also going to be stern about not pissing on the floor. She is plenty old enough to get this so I have no fear of scarring her for life. I also know from yesterday that the tireder she is the more accidents happen so I’m not going to encourage lots of drink today. Think it caught up with her by the afternoon!

Wish me luck, she is too old for me not to do this. She IS ready and it DOES need doing wine

OP’s posts: |
Elusiveone Tue 03-Apr-18 07:42:59

I second using the toilet more than the potty. My dd hated the potty and prefered the toilet. So we got her a little stall and away she wenr.

Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 08:06:32

I will resort to the toilet it it doesn’t get better in a few days. Our toilet is upstairs though so it does make life very hard 😕

OP’s posts: |
Plsadvise Tue 03-Apr-18 08:14:33

If I was you I would give up on the potty completely. Every hour or so (more frequently if she gets to 3hrs and hasn't gone) I would put her on the toilet, close the door, and say "its time to do your wee wee now".

And if she wees on the floor pick her up straight away, put her on the toilet, and say this is where we do wee wees.

And then loads of praise and a treat if she does.

Plsadvise Tue 03-Apr-18 08:15:23

Or potty in front of the tv if you don't want to take her upstairs?

Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 13:06:03

Ok did well all morning. No wee but she kept leaving the room. Every time I popped her on the potty and told her to stay there then I left to give privacy (secretly spying on her of course). The good news is she understood I meant business about staying on the potty for a time. So that was encouraging. No wee though.

Then at midday she got off the potty and trotted round the room and, of course, had an accident straight away confused The difference this time was she actually looked down and said “Mummy!” As if she realised it shouldn’t be happening there. I was pretty cross. I told her that this is what the potty is for and that I wasn’t happy that she had weed on the floor.

Then I put her down for a nap as I can’t face her grizzling at me all afternoon and tonnes of wee because she is tired. So still no success. Will get her up soon and hopefully her nap will help her to keep with it!

OP’s posts: |
Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 13:06:23

Oh and tried the toilet and she freaked right out

OP’s posts: |
Plsadvise Tue 03-Apr-18 14:27:11

Oh dear - so much for my toilet plan - glad she sat on the potty tho. You only need a couple of wees in the right place to get some rewards on the go and that'll hopefully motivate her!

phoenix1973 Tue 03-Apr-18 14:29:59

Draw a smiley face on potty with a permanent marker and tell Dd how much potty loves it when it gets a wee or poo.
yeah i know, but it worked for my EXTREMELY STUBBORN daughter. 🤣

Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 15:45:35

4hours and no wee still...one wee all day. Arghghght!

OP’s posts: |
Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 17:11:55

Finally had a wee in potty! It is a hollow victory though. I just made sure she was sat on the potty more often than not (which goes against the book) and she finally did one. I guess I should take comfort from the fact that I at least managed to get her to sit happily on the potty.

OP’s posts: |
mrspapalazarou Tue 03-Apr-18 17:48:52

Yay well done her, mine held it in for ages today too, 6 hours! Only had 3 wees today so far, 2 that started on sofa/playmat and finished on potty, and one like you where I just happened to have her sat on the potty. Yes goes against the book but I suppose it gets her used to it and if she's on the potty, I'm safe to take my eyes off her for a few mins

Phoenix I love the smiley face idea, I've decided to let her stick a Thomas the tank sticker (her fave) on her potty when she wees to decorate it grin

Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 18:46:27

I guess the fact that our girls can hold it so long shows they are ready! I’ve been for more wees than her today! Thank god it’s her bedtime now. I’ve havent had a minute to myself all day!! I’ve been taking her into the loo with me! Only 2 wees today for her!

OP’s posts: |
Womblewobble Tue 03-Apr-18 19:42:13

Oh my god she just got out of bed and told me she needed a wee! Then took her night nappy off, sat on the potty and did one! She also says she needs a poo but nothing came (she has been trumping all day though).

Bloody hell. I think that counts as a massive, unprompted bloody victory!

OP’s posts: |
BossWitch Tue 03-Apr-18 19:45:13

Hurrah!

Sounds like you're cracking it OP. I will just say one thing: chocolate buttons. Invaluable as an incentive/ reward!

Samewitches Tue 03-Apr-18 21:49:30

I never did anything really with a potty, I got dd a step so she could get onto the toilet. The only time we had a potty was when she was running naked through the house and I'd tell her if she needs a wee to do it on the pot (before toilet training). She did once or twice so I knew she knew she needed to go so on day 1 I put her step by the toilet, showed her what to do, kept her naked from waist down and off she went! I took her night nappy off and said if she did a wee in the toilet she got 2 chocolate buttons, if she did.. A POO! With big fanfare she got 4! 4 buttons! We had a few accidents but she was ready and got it pretty quick. I always let her go by herself and tell me when she was finished. No accidents when we were out either because she was used to going in the toilet. My dd needs privacy too and luckily our house is a flat so was set up well for that scenario, she didn't have to tell me she needed to go, she could just take herself off to do it.

Womblewobble Thu 05-Apr-18 20:00:55

Annnnnnd we were doing so well but now she is back to just weeing on the floor.
I’ve noticed that the look of panic is on her face when she does it but when she only does 2wees a day it is really hard to get any practise in! I’m not going to give her tonnes to drink as that really backfired last time.
So the oh crap method hasn’t worked for me. I fail to see how you can quickly potty train a child who only does 2/3 wees a day. Perhaps I’m just missing something angry

OP’s posts: |
fuzzyfozzy Thu 05-Apr-18 20:08:48

They get really good at holding but it's the turning the 'tap' on-letting go, which seems to be a problem for some.
Try to keep your cool.
Have a stash of clothes, I never did the naked thing. I got them to put paper towels down and they stripped, wiped and redressed (with as much help as needed)
Basically made it as bloody boring as possible, with the "oh if only you'd weed in the potty...."

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