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Potty Training our nearly 3 1/2 yr

(15 Posts)
Buffy81 Sun 07-Jan-18 13:48:11

Before I start. please no bashing as I can imagine some you of sitting there thinking that we have left it really late considering that our LB will be starting reception in September and he will one of the youngest in his yr born late aug

So, just the day after boxing we decided that we would make a start trying to train our 3yr lb as he had a week off before going back to nursery. One of the reasons for not starting earlier is that we had been having speach and language therapy as he was not say much.

We thought we would give it a go and see what happens. After 2 weeks, he refuses to sit on the potty, if he dose sit on it, we have tears. we he did sit on it, he could be there a while and not do anything and then as soon as we would pull up his pants, within 5 mins he would be doing a wee and crying that his socks are wet.

Last week, he was back at nursery (he is there 3 days a week). On Friday they said that they dont think he is quite ready as when he would have a accident, he would get emotional about.

We find that he cant even tell us when he wants to go or can tell that he is having a wee. I asked him this morning if he knows that he is weeing and he said no. we have gone back to nappies this weekend as we have been house hunting

I have seen on some previous posts that some people have recomeded getting the oh crap book which we have ordered this weekend so that will arrive soon.

In the mean time, is there anything that we can do to try and get some progress

OP’s posts: |
BouncyFlouncy Sun 07-Jan-18 16:38:00

Go back to nappies and forget about it for a couple of months. He's clearly not ready and if you force it you will just spend months mopping up wee and poo and possibly cause some real issues for him. He will do it when he's ready.

BelfastSmile Sun 07-Jan-18 16:44:07

My son is a couple of weeks older than yours, and we've just gone back to nappies as he was having 5-6 accidents a day. DH was convinced he had to be ready because of his age, but eventually agreed to put him back in nappies.

I plan to try again in a couple of months (we have a bit more time, because we're in NI and he won't be starting school for another year).

DH wasn't happy about it, but I think it's the best option- you can't force them to be ready if they're not.

teaandbiscuitsforme Sun 07-Jan-18 21:05:47

With the Oh Crap book there's is a sequence to learning to wee in the right place: I did a wee -> I am weeing -> I need to wee.

Your son is in the phase of 'I did a wee' so he won't be able to tell you yet. You need to teach him to recognise when he is weeing to be able to teach him to recognise that he needs to wee. That's what potty training is essentially - or the other way is to leave it until the make the connection themselves. Either way is fine, it's up to you.

To teach him that he's weeing, the Oh Crap method is to do it in blocks. So block 1 means leaving him naked (or at least no bottoms) for a day or two and watching like a hawk to see what the sign is that he's about to wee. For my DD, she paused for a few seconds. If you catch the sign, you move to the potty 'come on, it's time to wee. Never phrasing it as a question 'do you need to wee?'. If you don't catch the sign and he starts to wee, you quickly tell him he's weeing and to hold it whilst you move him to the potty.

You don't introduce underwear until a few weeks in because it gives them the secure feeling of a nappy so there may be more accidents. When you do introduce trousers, you don't put underwear on (commando is fine for a couple of weeks!) and just let him wear loose joggers that he can push down easily.

Good luck. The book is a huge help so I hope it gets to you quickly!

Mrsssmith11 Thu 11-Jan-18 20:37:23

My lg is 3.5 and still in nappies. We've tried a few times to potty train but she 'doesn't want to'. I'm at a bit of a loss too tbh. I'm trying not to stress about it but feel like she should be trained by now. We're in Scotland so we still have 1.5 years til school. Hopefully she'll want to by then.

OlennasWimple Thu 11-Jan-18 20:39:07


Then take a week off work when you and nursery think that he is ready and try to stay home and do little else other than crack using the potty (or the toilet - some kids do better going straight onto the loo)

Tortycat Thu 18-Jan-18 23:42:01

No advice but wanted to say you're not alone. Dc1 is 3.5 and very reluctant to potty train. Physically he's ready as he can say he needs a wee or poo, but refuses to use potty or toilet training seat, and gets really upset if i dont give him a nappy. I've gone along with it til now but he'll be starting reception in Sept so we'll have to tackle it soon. Also at a loss!

Sarahloumumoftwo Sat 20-Jan-18 10:41:16

No judgement here but the only advise I can give you is make a decision and stick to it, if that's back in nappies that's fine and if its no more nappies that's fine too, popping on an occasional nappy to go out etc causes great confusion in my experience and essentially we had to start training again after each nappy we popped on!! You need to find 2 weeks really to sit in the house and train him, no trips out for a minimum of a week. I wouldn't be put off by the nursery.... It is more work for them and this may be a contributing factor for the advise(or maybe hes not ready in which case you decide that and go with nappies). Bottom line thou he can't wear them to school and you want to be well clear of regular accidents by the time you get to school for his sake. If I was you I would maybe aim for Easter and not mention it between now and then. Also found a reward chart really helpful! We started with a reward for peeing.... ANYWHERE!! Good luck with it, don't worry he will get it eventually!!

GreyMorning Sat 20-Jan-18 12:10:06

I started training my son using the Oh Crap Method, persevered for months. Then got fed up of clearing piss and shit up from clothes, put him in nappies for two weeks and tried again... BOOM! He got it!

There was an initial heavy reliance on bribery (chocolate for a wee, hot wheels for a poo) and I found asking him a direct 'do you need a wee' didn't work but going for 'do you like chocolate? How about you sit on the potty and I get you a chocolate button' helped.

He has a big leap in his verbal skills during the break and that really helped (he was quite behind his peers prior to that)

HelpMeDrRanj Sat 27-Jan-18 19:51:10

I'm so relieved other people are in the same boat with late potty training! My son just turned 3 and everyone we know potty trained before 2 1/2 so there's a lot of family and friend pressure that he's behind in it. We started introducing the potty a few weeks ago (wearing pants for a few hours a day) to get him used to it but so far he's managed one poo (perfectly, he told us he needed to poo and asked for the potty) but every other time he wees in his pants a few minutes after being on the potty! He knows when he's weeing just not before. Should we just stop and wait a few weeks/ months?

The book sounds good, definitely worth a look. Maybe wait a while and then reintroduce the potty with some kind of bribe to make him happier to sit on it? A sticker chart or a smartie each time he uses it? Then there's more incentive to use it..

Good luck with it. Have you seen Michael McIntyre's sketch on learning to walk & talk... hopefully the same as this, they will get there eventually! Incidentally how did you find speech and language therapy? I think I need to refer son for that too..blush

NerrSnerr Sat 27-Jan-18 19:57:05

We’re still not there with our daughter who is the same age and starting school. After many months of stress we went back into pull-up. This last week or so things have really improved and she’s asking to wear knickers about 50% of the time and having minimal accidents. We’re letting her lead for now.

Nousernameforme Sat 27-Jan-18 20:09:34

I've just potty trained my d's he will be 4 in a couple of weeks. He has been aware of weeing since December After Christmas we took the plunge, and it seemed to be the perfect time.

We had two accidents early on when we just didn't get to the potty in time, other than that it's been plain sailing. We did bribe for the first couple of weeks 1 sweetie for a wee 2 for a poo.

I firmly believe in waiting till they are ready much less traumatic.

Buffy81 Sun 28-Jan-18 08:11:54

helpmedrranj it was his old nursery that referred him to speech and language. It has helped him he is where he should he now and they have discharged him. And this is something I wanted to get sorted before trying to potty train as I thought if he is beind on his speach how is he going to communicate with us that he needs to go

The book is worth getting if you haven't done so already as one thing she says is how can tell you that they are ready to start to learn when all they have known is nappies. I am currently up to chapter 12 which is all about poop

Will have another try in March as got stuff planned for every weekend in feb

OP’s posts: |
Buffy81 Mon 29-Jan-18 22:30:57

Am not going to get to excited, but had a really big step today. While at nursery, they asked lb if he needed to use to potty. He said yes and actually had a wee!! Normally you ask him a question about anything he will say yes and then want to do anything or just to agree with you

We have not been doing anything since we first tried as not has a spare weekend to make any sort of attempt, hoping to try again in march when we have free time

OP’s posts: |
HelpMeDrRanj Mon 29-Jan-18 23:15:07

That's brilliant! What a positive step! Hopefully he'll do that a few more times and then be ready by March! Good luck!

I called our health visitors team today to ask about speech therapy referrals and they told me what to do next so look forward to seeing what that'll do! Hopefully it'll help him explain himself more and be one less thing in the way of getting on the potty/ toilet! Thanks for your help smile

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