Losing the will to live!

[pinkflamingo121318]

DD was 4 in July and I don't remember the last time she was dry for the whole day.

I'm struggling big time - nothing is working!!

I pick her up from school (which she loves) and straight away I can smell that she's wet. She has long wet patches down her legs and it honestly stinks.

I don't know if that's my pregnancy nose or if it's just because there's SO much. It's definitely more than one wee.
Baby is due in April and she's very excited so I don't think it's that.

Yesterday.. party clothes at school and she wore a dress with leggings. I had to bath her as soon as we got home - she smelt of wee, her legs were cold and wet, she was red down below AND a sore rash on both legs from the wet clothes. She told me she didn't go to the toilet at all.

It's her last day of school today and I've had to put a tena lady in her knickers. I will be speaking to the teacher after Christmas because this just can't keep happening.

She actually asked me if she could wear a pull up yesterday for school. I said no obviously.

She's embarrassed by wetting herself. She will try hide it when I ask if she's wet. She will tell me that she's dry, even when it's clear she's not. If you ask if she needs a wee, she'll say no. But 10 minutes later, she'll be wet!
We have a toilet downstairs which she's happy to use when she needs a poo. But she just won't take herself off for a wee.

I've taken her to the paediatric department of the hospital. The doctor said that's it's MY fault she's wet because apparently I'm not letting her grow up. Which is complete bollocks. She said I need to be tougher on her. And she needs to drink more. (I only let her have water - she has one fruit shoot sized weak squash at my Aunties once a week, never finishes it though).

But I refuse to tell her off about being wet. I wet the bed for a long time when I was a child, my mum never told me off because she knew I couldn't help it and didn't want me to be embarrassed. It was a pain in the ass for her to wash my bed every night, but she did it. I eventually stopped and I'm grateful that she didn't make a big deal out of it.

I don't know if she's genuinely lazy or if there's an underlying issue. The doctor wasn't willing to suggest anything other than drink more and me be tougher.

I feel like the school have given up and they'll just ask if she needs to go. Where she needs to be physically taken.

I have told her that she will smell and soon other children are going to notice, and that they might laugh at her or call her names. But she doesn't seem to care.

I just don't know what else to do. My son was dry at 2 1/2, he's 5 now and mostly dry at night.

[pinkflamingo121318]

Oh wow, I didn't realise that was so long - oops!

[Situp]

Visit www.eric.org.uk
Not only will you find practical advice but also support and you will realise that you are far from being alone.

I think if she is still wet during the day, she may be old enough where they look at medical causes. Sounds like your doctor was ignorant and totally wrong.

Our DS is nearly 8 and still regularly wet at night. We found that by finding that we are not alone and practical things to help us to be more relaxed about it.

It may be that she gets too engrossed in things and doesn't read signal properly or has an overactive bladder. There is help out there for you

Keep your chin up xx

[Situp]

I would also say you should ask the GP to check if she is constipated. That can often lead to bladder problems and children can still poo whilst constipated xx

[pinkflamingo121318]

I have made an appointment with the GP to be referred to someone else. Earliest was 16th January but that gives me a month of trying extra hard with taking her.

It's like she doesn't understand the cues of needing a wee. She has told me a couple of times when waiting for the bus to/from school that she needs a wee, but then she can't seem to hold it.

So many times I've had to tell her teacher she needs a wee, just so they definitely make her go. The toilets are literally just outside her classroom door.