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He isn't ready is he?

(24 Posts)
GoBigOrange Sun 03-Dec-17 08:08:05

DS turned 2 at the end of July, and DH has been making noises ever since about getting him potty trained. Lately he's been really pushing for it, and it's getting on my tits.

The thing is, I don't think DS is ready. I've shown him his potty and the toilet (complete with step stool and training seat in case he prefers that) and explained what he needs to do and shown him books about the potty, but he just doesn't seem interested in it. Doesn't want to sit on it and if I sit him on it he just gets up and wanders off.

Sometimes I see him go to do his 'poo squat' and say to him, "Do you need to poo? Would you like to use your potty?" and he always says "NO!" and tends to waddle off to do his poo elsewhere.

Additionally, DS doesn't tend to tell me when he needs changing - would rather grumpily sit in a stinky or wet nappy, is unable to pull his own trousers up or down, and has quite limited speech.

DH is nuttier than squirrel poo to think we can manage to potty train in the circumstances isn't he? Can you all tell him he's being a bit of a twat please? (If indeed he is).

OP’s posts: |
CrmbleBee Sun 03-Dec-17 08:10:07

I'd try it- ideally you want him out of nappies before nursery.

Codlet Sun 03-Dec-17 08:12:32

I agree, why not give it a go? You can always stop after a few days if it’s not working.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow Sun 03-Dec-17 08:12:45

nope, not ready, leave him be. You'll.know when he's ready. My son was just after he turned 3, he decided to go for it and we had one wee accident on day 1 and none since. If you wait until they are really ready then there's no mess and no stress, for either or you. We made a potty available from when he turned two and bought and showedhim pants, then left him be.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow Sun 03-Dec-17 08:13:41

apologies for typo's, one-handed on phone!

TheCatIsMyEnemy Sun 03-Dec-17 08:14:21

No he's not ready and it will do more harm than good.

2 is still very young to be totally potty trained.

dertyyuoih2 Sun 03-Dec-17 08:15:25

My DS was 2 in March we tried potty training over the summer and t failed epicly! My DS has ok ish speech at the time, but refused the potty and toilet. He’d cried hysterically with both, with did two days. Two days of him having wet pants and waddling around with poo in his pants. Safe to say we have given up and are trying again closer to his 3rd birthday. Boys are apparently slower than girls....

missyB1 Sun 03-Dec-17 08:17:29

He’s nearly 2.5 so it’s about average time to start potty training. I work in a two year olds class at nursery about half of them are being trained.
His speech might be limited but that wouldn’t necessarily hold him back.
There’s no harm in trying.

BikeRunSki Sun 03-Dec-17 08:26:06

It’ll be much easier if he’s interested. No harm in suggesting every week or so “would you like to wear pants today?”, so he knows that the option is there, but no point in forcing the issue if he’s not interested. We had a couple of false starts with DS at about 2 and a half. One day he put his pants on and started using the potty. Took him about a week to train - wees and poos, night and day all at once. He was 2y 9m.

DD demanded “pants today” when she was 2y 3m and mastered it in 48 hours. Again wees and poos, night and day.

GemmaB78 Sun 03-Dec-17 08:30:01

My little boy is a month younger and at exactly the same point. Knows what a potty and toilet are for but refuses to use them. Knows when he is wet/dirty and sometimes asks to be changed but otherwise prefers to play. We're leaving it for now until he is ready to do it.

TheCatIsMyEnemy Sun 03-Dec-17 08:31:53

All the advice and evidence shows it's much better to wait til they are ready and actually there CAN be harm in trying before that point.

I'm surprised people are saying otherwise TBH.

witherwings Sun 03-Dec-17 08:49:30

Don't do it yet, he's not ready.
It's clear with most kids when they are ready. My first was 2 and half and asked to wear pants as friend at nursery was wearing them. Second was 3, she went off, took her nappy off, changed into knickers and then told me she wasn't wearing nappies anymore.
I would say that age 3 is more usual nowadays for potty training.

Blahblahblahzeeblah Sun 03-Dec-17 08:57:15

I didn't push potty training, just made him.aware of the potty and toilet like you've been doing. Shortly after turning 3 he decided he wanted pants on and he never had an accident. It was literally no work as he decided he was ready for it.

Phillipa12 Sun 03-Dec-17 08:58:14

To me toilet trained is them being able to go to the loo by themselves, not being plonked on a potty every 30 mins to have a try. Some children take longer than others, dc1 was 2.10, dc2 was 2.4, dc3 was 3.2 and dc4 is not ready yet but probably in about 3 months and he will then be 2.7, with all of mine they took a week from starting to going independently, your ds does not sound ready and pushing it will not help. In reality do you really want to be carrying around a potty and large amounts of spare clothes for a few months or wait a few months till its Easter and get the whole potty training thing sorted in a week?

yikesanotherbooboo Sun 03-Dec-17 10:31:05

Does it have to be all or nothing?
I have been a rather casual parent over 'training' and not gone for pants until they were ready 2 1/2 to 3 depending on child.i don't see any problem with sitting on the loo or pot at bath time to give it a try. No pressure or talking about it required. It will soon become clear whether he is going to take to it. I don't think his spoken language skills necessarily matter if he is able to communicate with you non verbally.

ZigZagandDustin Sun 03-Dec-17 10:37:51

I think with most kids it's more about when parents are ready. Some kids will take to it better than others but they will all learn with time and patience.

TheCatIsMyEnemy Sun 03-Dec-17 13:39:43

Some kids will take to it better than others but they will all learn with time and patience

And some kids, if pushed too early, will develop long term issues WRT the loo. I mean why take the risk? Just wait til they're ready.

GoBigOrange Sun 03-Dec-17 22:01:24

Thank you all for your views.

Have explained to DH that really pushing potty training before DS is ready to do it would just make it a longer, more difficult and messier process - and he might even develop issues or get stubborn about it and refuse to do it at all.

I like the idea of taking a middle road and will leave the potty and paw patrol underwear readily available for him to use if he wants, gently remind him about them sometimes, and suggest he might like to sit on the potty before baths, first thing in the morning etc, but not pressure him to use them if he doesn't want to.

DH has now agreed that he will totally leave potty training alone until at least Easter unless DS wants to learn. He is still very keen to get DS trained before he turns three. But that is still quite a way off, and DS will likely be ready (or even trained already) by then.

OP’s posts: |
Nuffaluff Sun 03-Dec-17 22:06:21

Don't worry. My DS has just turned 3. We've sorted him in a week because he wanted to do it.
Leave it for a while and save yourself the hassle and stress. Or you could try it properly for a couple of days (cold turkey, underpants, no nappies) - it might work.

Figgygal Sun 03-Dec-17 22:09:38

My ds was a month shy of his 3rd birthday when we did it and he was dry in a weekend because he was ready. I really wouldn't push it and glad your dh has agreed to leave It a bit

BikeRunSki Sun 03-Dec-17 22:12:09

My DM (mother of 2b and 2g, we;re all in our 40s and 50s now) was horrified that I even considered potty training a boy before he was 3!

Owletterocks Sun 03-Dec-17 22:17:41

Take it from someone who wished they had listened to their instincts and not everyone else and who is still having issues with an almost 6 year old. Wait until he is ready, I trained Ds too early in hindsight although he could poo on the potty and wee on demand he had no idea when he needed to go and still has accidents at almost 6. Because I was scarred by this experience, I left dd as long as I could, she was more than ready and has had about 3 accidents in total. Don't rush it, you will more than likely regret it

SingingSeuss Sun 03-Dec-17 22:19:56

Leave it as long as you can unless he is clearly trying himself. We didn't, we started at 2.5 and at 3.5 we have only just cracked it (after much stopping and starting).

Lovelilies Sun 03-Dec-17 22:21:48

DD1 was 2.4, no problem at all. DS is 4 next month and absolutely refuses to use the potty/toilet. I suggest it every week or so but he says "I'll do it when I'm 8" confused
I've definitely not put any pressure on him but I feel like he'll be in nappies forever!

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