Should we go back to nappies?

[Duckfamily]

I've been potty training my 37 month old son for just over seven months and he still has accidents most days. He's dry at preschool (goes 1.5 days per week), but at home/out and about he will pee his pants. Mostly not full on pees, but rather leaking when he needs to go. He wears pull ups through the night and they are wet of a morning. First thing he asks is to take his nappy off. He tells me when he wants to go for a poop, but mostly I have to prompt him to go for pees, and very regularly! I'm concerned the accidents are getting him down and I wonder if I should put him back in nappies for a few weeks, then start again from scratch? My husband thinks we should persevere. Thanks in advance.

[NapQueen]

37 months?

[NoelNiki]

Why count in months? He isnt a baby he is 3 years old!

My 3.5 nephew does this. He crosses his legs and avoids the loo so as not to interupt play. But he would hate to go back to a nappy. Just take him more often. He is ok at preschool so he is trained.

[BigBrownBoogyinBear]

"Why count in months?" because, for this, it's relevant. If OP had said "3", that could mean literally only just turned three, or very nearly four. That is a huge difference in terms of toilet training.

[BabyOrSanta]

Are the toilets at pre-school toddler-sized toilets?

[Civilsoot]

I wouldn't go back to nappies.

I think you've reached the point where it's behavioural rather than physical. He knows when he needs a wee he's maybe choosing or waiting until it's nearly too late to make it to the toilet.

When my son was leaking because he was too engrossed in play / couldn't be bothered to go and would leak, it did take me being firmer with him to get the message across that he's to go to the toilet sooner. Say he would be watching TV, he'd want to watch the whole programme rather than pause it and go for a wee. In the end I had to turn the TV off and he could have TV time only when he learnt he could be trusted to go to the toilet and not put it off and nearly wet himself in favour of watching Justin's House.

Same with night time pull ups. My son would regularly drench through his nappy but in his own time he's learnt nightime bladder control and asked himself if he could stop wearing pull ups to bed.

If I was you, I'd preserve as you are. He will get there in the end.

[skankingpiglet]

He's dry at preschool, so he can do it. Have you asked what they do differently?
I wouldn't go back to nappies either. I did do it with DD1 at a similar age for a couple of days but that was because I was asking her if she needed to go and she'd say no whilst staring me square in the face and making a puddle. She'd been trained for over a year by then. It was a control thing and in her case a bit of peer pressure worked well to make her realise she was cutting off her nose.
I agree those little wees are them holding on until the last moment due to severe FOMO. DD1 finally stopped doing those regularly around 3.3yo and now at 3.6yo they are rare. It's been a combination of her judging better and her muscles being able to hold it longer I think.

[Duckfamily]

Thanks ladies. Yes I opted for months to give a more accurate view. I guess I could have said 3 years and one month, but found it easier to go with 37 months. We're all different I suppose. Thanks to those who stuck up for me there.👍🏻

At preschool they have small porcelain toilets and they take themselves without prompt. He’s in there with older kids and they tend to go together, so I think it’s the peer pressure working.

Re being firmer with him, I agree and will try it to a degree, but feel I need to find the right balance. He is getting sensitive about it all now. We’ve tried reward charts and positive reinforcement to no avail.

We took him to the grotto yesterday and he peed himself on the way out. We’ve only just noticed from looking back at pics that he actually started to pee on Santa’s knee!😳Sorry Santa!

Thanks again ladies. I will persevere without nappies.x

[littlebillie]

We had this with our Ds and it was hard and took us over 6 months to sort out. However we did take him to the toy shop and bought a glittery shiny fire truck. It sat on a high shelf for quite a while where we kept reinforcing dry days onwards to a week. Many will probably say a child of that age can’t think in terms of days or weeks but he understood the prize and when he got it.

The truck is no longer on the shelf.