Has anyone used paediatric continence service, and was it helpful?? (4yo and daytime wetting)

[AlohaMama]

To cut a long story short, DD was potty trained at just over 2yo. At her insistence - she is very strong willed/independent and just kept taking her nappies off. It was easy and she was dry with very few accidents for a good few months. She then started having accidents (possibly started when DH went away for business trip, shortly followed by arrival of baby brother) and then for the last 2 years it has just got worse and worse.

We've tried everything obvious, positive reinforcements, negative reinforcements, charts, stickers, marbles, etc etc. We're fairly convinced it's behavioural, she does not like being told what to do, very much wants to be in control. She doesn't seem at all fussed when she's wet, and its hard to motivate her as she's not that bothered about rewards. It's now been going on so long I wouldn't be suprised if there is a physical element. Sometimes she'll wet herself, she'll then go to the toilet, but then wet herself again 15 minutes later. She will wee on the floor of the toilet while telling me she couldn't get there in time, even though she's standing next to the toilet. She will get through 4 or 5 changes of pants a day. Now she's at school, she sometimes has to change her whole outfit, including shoes, twice a day as everything is soaking.

We've spoken to HV, been to the GP and are now on the waiting list for the paediatric continence service. I'm wondering if anyone else has used them and found them helpful? I don't know how long we'll have to wait to be seen, I know 4 is still considered young to be referred. Does anyone know if they are helpful if it's a behavioural issue or are they only good at diagnosing a physical issue? I'm wondering if we should be looking at trying to find a different way to solve this, like a psychologist or something. I know people say just wait it out, but it's so draining when it's been going on for so long, and I'm so sick of having our furniture covered in pee and cleaning up all the time.

[Misspilly88]

//www.eric.org.uk

Have you tried this helpline?

[AlohaMama]

mispilly I've referred to their website before but not used the helpline. Thanks for the suggestion.

[ScottishDiblet]

Hello! I know your post was a while ago but how is your daughter now? I have a nearly 5 year old who has the exact same problem and it seems to be getting worse. We have seen various doctors but finally saw a lovely paediatrician who told us her bladder is too small and we need to stretch it and train it by giving her LOTS MORE water to drink every day. We have been really really trying to get her to take more water but it’s hit and miss (she won’t drink her water bottle during the day although her teacher says they drink plenty of milk and cups of water during the day so not to worry). In the last week she has been sent home from school with wet knickers and a change of wet clothes every day. I totally despair. It’s so humiliating and I don’t know what else to do. The doctor said not to bother coming back until she was drinking much more water but is it worth contacting her for some reassurance maybe? Anyway! I’m sorry you are in the same boat but I’m here too. Xx

[ScottishDiblet]

@alohamama @misspilly88

Sorry to page you to this thread but would really like to chat if we could?

[AndiB58]

I am really interested in this thread as I am having the exact same problem.
I feel it was just me collecting my DS from school and also collecting a bag of wet clothes.
It does feel like it's getting worse and not sure what to do

[ScottishDiblet]

Hi @AndiB58. Sorry you are going through this too. Are you doing the drinking as much as possible to expand the bladder thing? That’s pretty much all the expert told us to do.
As far as I can tell there are 3 in Our DD’s class who regularly have accidents. And my friend who is a headmistress said her 6 year used to last year in reception and it isn’t a big deal. But it feels pretty big doesn’t it?

[AndiB58]

Yeah trying the water thing but he just won't drink it in school.
It does feel pretty big.
His class room teacher says there are other kids but I don't know if she's telling me the truth as I'm the only one that collects the dreaded bag of wet clothes.

[ScottishDiblet]

Our daughter doesn’t drink her water bottle at school despite SO many reminders and incentives. But I’m assured she has a big carton of milk and glass of water during the day. So I’m resigned to that. And as soon as we are home she has to drink one (or more) bottles of water. It’s the only way. I just keep on keeping on hoping for improvement.

[borage13]

My son is 5 and wet himself three times today. My parents who have him before and after school on two days a week have told me tonight that the school called my father over at pick up about it and my father was so embarrassed he was traumatised. We are supposed to have a paediatric appointment in the post.

I have done everything possible - stickers, check sheet, reprimands, rewards, not reacting - and he's still doing it. I am beside myself and it's having a detrimental effect on my anxiety condition. Tonight my mother shouted and shouted at me because of what he'd done. I think they'll stop wanting to take care of him soon. I'm a lone parent so that will cause a problem. She said that the school have had enough. Will they expel him? Or ask him to leave? She seemed to indicate that that was what would happen. Watching this thread with interest and I feel your pain.