Potty training with delayed speech/language

[MustBeThursday]

DD is 3y7m and not yet potty trained. Her communication is not at the expected level for her age although she has improved greatly in the last year as her first words were when she was 2y6m. She is awaiting paediatric assessment and has been under speech therapy team since last December.

She absolutely refuses to sit on the potty or toilet and gets distressed if we sit her on them. She will often deny being wet/dirty if asked and will only rarely tell me if she is without prompting, even though I can see she notices it happening. Putting her in pants causes her to get really distressed when she wets/soils them, as does leaving her bare.

We’ve backed off again after attempting in July and again in August as it was upsetting her so much and we have a 10 week old as well now.

Big problems are when she gets upset she stops speaking - wordless shouts and screams. She doesn’t get the concept of a sticker chart etc either, immediate consequences/rewards she does usually understand but again she gets too upset about the potty to take this on board.

How do I crack this? She’s at nursery in a school now and while she wasn’t the only one still in Nappies she soon will be if we can’t sort this out. She doesn’t seem bothered by being one of the only ones in nappies although I’m not sure she is aware of it in a peer pressure sense.

[Purdyandwheezy]

I pottytrained DS when he had a bad speech delay. He was 2.10 when we trained and he had no verbs at that point,couldn't even say wee. But he understood everything we said to him. He cracked it straight away and just signalled to us he needed to go by kind of lifting one leg up. So if it's just a speech issue then it definitely can be done. We started by bribing with a chocolate button for each wee in the potty. But it sounds like your DD may not be totally ready if she's resisting so much. I'd just keep trying every few weeks. Good luck!

[MustBeThursday]

It’s more understanding and communicating withDD, rather than her ability to speak iyswim. She knows a lot of words but is only just starting to string them together and struggles with understanding more complex instructions. We’re just starting to get “this then that” like, put your bricks away then we will get playdoh out

[Msqueen33]

All my kids trained at three. Two of mine have autism and were non verbal. They didn't go in for bribes or sticker charts as they just didn't get it. My middle two no longer wanted to wear a nappy and kept taking it off. We left the potty around and popped them on regularly and found it easier when they were naked. A toilet story might be good as well. If she has delayed understanding you might be best waiting. I know it's hard especially as most kids seem trained before this age but you need to see whether your dd is ready. My younger two couldn't follow instructions but didn't want nappies. Have you thought of having her further evaluated for additional Sen?

[MonochromeUnicorn]

She sounds a lot like my DS who is 3y 9months. We have had some good advice from our continence team, but I think it's going to be a loooonnnnng process. He is happy to sit on the toilet, we have a seat with steps attached so he feels safe. He just doesn't understand what is required of him. I'm not going to stress about it because he obviously isn't developmentally ready yet.

[MonochromeUnicorn]

I've found this website helpful - especially the guide for children with additional needs. This is basically the same advice we were given by the continence team.

Eric

[MustBeThursday]

Msqueen33 she is due to be assessed by paediatrician soon due to communication, eye contact, repetitive/immature play etc. They said we’d have an appointment by the end of Oct but nothing yet.

Monochromeunicorn I will take a look at that, thanks