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I feel like a failure, help with 3 and 4 year old

(5 Posts)
Roxx1516 Sat 21-Oct-17 20:12:57

I have two boys just turned 3 and 4 and my 4 year old wont get out of pull ups, Iv brought lots of pants for him even Disney ones and he does wear them at home and he will wee in the potty sometimes but he wont poo in it, Iv tried to speak to him and explain and I say that he's 4 noe and he's a big boy who needs to use the potty but he screams and crys if I try make him sit on potty or toilet. I put 4 year old in pull ups for Nursery because I no he wont use the toilet there, he just wont go near it and the nursery teacher said I need to try harder with him at home which made me feel like shit because I do try hard at home. I'm no I must of started trying to potty train him far to late but I am trying to make up for it. And my 3 year old is the most stubborn child ever ! And he refuses to go near the potty, he just wants his pull ups on. Can anyone help me? Or give me some advice, I feel so down because most kids in my child's class are potty trained and he's not sad and with my 3 year old starting nursery in January I really want him to be starting potty training to. I just want them out of pull ups in the day, there 3 and 4 now 🙈 x

MiaowTheCat Mon 23-Oct-17 12:21:53

Not much advice (my younger still isn't reliable - but she's got medical issues making it harder for her - severe constipation problems) but it's HARD when you've got two with a narrow age gap!

I found giving rewards etc an absolute bugger cos I'd be trying to reward one but the other would kick off for the attention as well (mine are 5 and 4 now). I've found a marble jar where I can reward both of them and they BOTH get a reward when it's full to be the least confrontational solution to that problem - but it's not ideal.

SerialGoogler Wed 25-Oct-17 08:54:10

OP I feel your pain. My DS is 4.2 yrs and we've just gone cold turkey because the child cannot be bribed. He was dry for a few weeks a year ago but he regressed as soon as he moved nurseries. I think they are a comfort blanket to him - It is only 8.50am on day one and we've had tears, begging and my resolve is wobbling. Except I know that I need to force the issue now.
He is stubborn beyond belief, doesn't care he's the only one in nappies (school have been extremely supportive and patient as they know his personality) but I made a commitment to go cold turkey at half term and now I am here! Couldn't start before today as family commitments would have set us up to fail but I can't go back now. Still going to use pull ups for night time but if anyone has any positive stories, advice etc for getting a stubborn 4 year old to accept he's not a baby (he has a big brother who cracked it in a weekend at 3.2 but DS2 is not at all inspired to be a big boy), I would be most grateful!

Sophieelmer Wed 25-Oct-17 08:59:54

Don’t buy anymore pull-ups! They will either have lots of accidents and can help you clean them up which will be a pain but not horrendous or they’ll start using the toilet. They are probably both a bit big for a potty, so get rid and use the toilet. Take them into the garden and ask them to water the flowers for you, I have yet to meet a little boy that doesn’t love doing that!

SerialGoogler Wed 25-Oct-17 09:46:15

@Sophieelmer my 6 year old potty trained DS still loves that!

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