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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

I'm fed up with lifting DD 5.5 at night!

12 replies

JohnnyCrowsGarden · 08/10/2017 00:20

I realise this has just gone on way too long, but I'm just so fed up with lifting my DD to bed at night.

She was dry during the day and we stopped using night nappies at 3.

Since then we have lifted her at around 10pm and then she sleeps until morning. I can count the number of wet beds she has had on the fingers of one hand.

Here's the problem: if we leave her and don't lift her, her full bladder wakes her up and then she screams the place down and doesn't go back to sleep for ages.

If we lift her, she wees barely awake and not a peep out of her til Morning.

She goes for a night time wee and takes herself to the loo first thing in the morning. It's just this night time screaming that feels intolerable that we can't seem to get past.
The other issue is that she's getting heavier each day and I can barely carry her anymore. It's got to stop.

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brapbrapbrap · 08/10/2017 00:34

'Lifting'? As in, picking her up?

Or do you mean 'waking'? As in, you wake her up to make her go to the loo?

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JohnnyCrowsGarden · 08/10/2017 08:33

By 'lifting' literally picking her up asleep and sitting her on the loo. She always does a wee.

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user1498854363 · 08/10/2017 08:36

What would happen if instead of lifting her, you wake her up and support/encourage to the toilet. I don’t lift now, I wake up and guide..

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boredofmyoldname · 08/10/2017 08:42

I know the screaming is hard (my 4.5yo did it too) but she needs to learn not to do that rather than you carrying her back and forth.

Do you know why she's screaming? It might be worth asking her.

Mine comes into my room to wake me to go with her to the toilet because she's scared of the extractor fan noise (goes on automatically with the light), she also doesn't like the dark so I got a Grolight for the hallway.

As I say she still wakes me but she goes to the toilet and then I tuck her back up in bed which is much better than when she used to scream at the injustice of waking herself up

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dementedpixie · 08/10/2017 08:48

If you take them to the toilet at night you're supposed to wake them enough to make them aware of what they are doing or you are teaching them to wee in their sleep. I wouldn't carry, I would get her to walk to the toilet

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JohnnyCrowsGarden · 08/10/2017 08:53

I've asked her why she screams - she doesn't even remember

The screaming only happens if she wakes before being taken. If we lift her to wee before waking there's not a peep out of her.

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CaptainKirkssparetupee · 09/10/2017 20:29

Lifting isn't good and is no longer advised, it's basically teaching her to wee while asleep.

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boredofmyoldname · 09/10/2017 21:16

Is she waking up screaming because she needs the toilet or is she waking up screaming then realising she needs.

I'm wondering if it's night terrors or nightmares rather than because she needs the toilet...

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museumum · 09/10/2017 21:20

We have to take our just turned 4yo for a wee about 10pm or he’ll sleep so deep he’ll wet and not even notice.
But we wake him gently and walk him through.
No idea how we’ll stop. He was dry at night over 6months before we had to start this.

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Voice0fReason · 09/10/2017 22:33

He was dry at night over 6months before we had to start this.
He wasn't dry at night if he wasn't waking when he needed a wee, he just happened to not wee while he was asleep.

Lifting saves washing - it doesn't help children become dry at night, it's more likely to delay it.

Definitely don't encourage them to wee in their sleep. If you are going to lift, wake them up so they can take themselves, but long-term they need to wake because their bladder is full.

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museumum · 11/10/2017 07:44

No, he was waking us up when he needed a wee very easily and reliably, probably for more than six months.

Then went to preschool and dropped all naps and now sleeps too deeply. Will not even consider putting a pyjama pant on or even actual pants under his pjs so we're now stuck waking him at 10pm.

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JohnnyCrowsGarden · 15/11/2017 15:51

Well, we have good news! We started waking her up when she started stirring at the usual time (when previously we would have lifted her). We then would lead her to the loo with the lights on. Because she woke up, she then wouldn't start screaming.

Within two days she started doing this herself and we haven't had a peep since