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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

"Oh Crap" day 6 little progress

38 replies

eeanne · 05/10/2017 07:07

DD is 24 months and we started on Saturday. She can now hold her pee so when we go out with clothes on we don't have accidents. But she is getting increasingly unwilling to sit on the potty or toilet. Today she did a few drops in the potty. 15 min later she peed all over the floor. When she has to go she jumps up and down and starts crying but will NOT go to the potty.

Poo she is outright refusing to do on the potty and saving for her naptime/bedtime Nappy. Last night we had a midnight sheet change party as she let loose overnight.

I'm feeling like giving up completely as the accidents are more trouble to deal with than the nappy changing. Or is it normal to have a toddler getting more scared of the potty? Days 1-2 were better to be honest.

OP posts:

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newmumwithquestions · 05/10/2017 07:13

Bribery?
We used chocolate buttons. One for a wee on the potty, 2 for a poo. DD was a very chocolate starved toddler so this was a massive incentive for her.

24 months is pretty young - she may not be ready. It's a scary thing for them and you don't want to put her off.
Does she want to keep going or would she rather go back into nappies? I'd give her the choice.

CatsCantFlyFast · 05/10/2017 07:28

You need to keep her in nappies overnight until she's completely potty trained AND consistently dry overnight. So focus on the days only.
Poo - lots of kids hate pooing on a potty. Tell her she can poo in a nappy provided she asks for a nappy when she needs to go. (Let her do this for a week while you focus on wees in the potty). Then same again, she can poo in a nappy but she needs to sit on the potty or loo (with nappy on) while she pops. Again let this sink in for a while. Then you can either - secretly cut a hole in the nappy so the poo goes in the potty anyway, or, if you think it'll be successful ask her to go on the potty without a nappy

On the wees - I think the novelty of potty training wears off and they get sick of the whole idea. You can either choose to stop at this point and try again at a later date, or if you're sure she's ready and understanding, just keep going. Calm and consistent. "Wees go in the potty" every time she has an accident.

khanbal · 05/10/2017 07:42

Mine did that on poos. I left it went back to nappies and tried again at 2 years 7 months.

We had a week of struggles with poos. Refused to go on potty and would go in nappy we put on before bed. We just reaffirmed the message that poo poos and wee wees go in the potty please.

We then gave a favourite book and plenty of water/fruit to make sure weeing and pooping was as easy as possible and after about a week it was all done.

Finally leave in nappies overnight that's a big deal trying to do both. You can't 'train' overnight it's due to a hormone kicking in

Ropsleybunny · 05/10/2017 07:44

Forget about it and try again in a few weeks.

eeanne · 05/10/2017 08:19

I've asked her and she says she wants to pee and poo on the potty. Also at nursery she likes to go because her best friend there is a bit older and already trained. She has shown all the signs of readiness and days 2-3 were really great but we've had major setbacks since then. When she does pee in the potty she's really happy and proud of herself too.

The reason we're doing it now is I'm due with second baby in 2 months and I cannot fathom PT with a newborn, which means then I'd have to wait until DD is 2.5 at least. But she hates getting her nappy changed and was showing a lot of interest in the toilet, plus I could take a day from work to have a 3 day weekend focused on it this week. "Oh Crap" says 20 months is the minimum so I didn't think 24 was too young?

I'm scared to quit and give the wrong message but I'm also fearing weeks/months of changing poo'd on sheets every night.

OP posts:

Avebury · 05/10/2017 08:34

It's so young. I waited until all of mine were nearer 3 than 2 and it was ridiculously easy. Done and dusted in a couple of days because their understanding/articulation and openness to bribery is much better. I was able to let them lead completely and not follow them round asking if they needed a wee every two minutes or forcing them to sit on the potty.

Even if you get her potty trained now she will still need help wiping etc. when you have a newborn. I found it much easier having the toddler in a nappy when I had new babies.

eeanne · 05/10/2017 08:40

But if I quit now seems like the wrong message...

OP posts:

eeanne · 05/10/2017 09:17

OK she's now outright refusing to sit on the potty even though she's crying saying she wants to pee. I have no idea what it means because if she really wanted to she'd pee on the floor right?

I feel miserable honestly this book LIED.

OP posts:

2014newme · 05/10/2017 09:20

Very young!

Buglife · 05/10/2017 09:27

Back in nappies. If she's upset and crying her eyes out and withholding them that is the wrong message about using the toilet. Maybe pull up nappies and you can say they are like big girl pants but will help her with accidents? A book isn't going to be able to say when she's ready even if it is full of good tips! My DS potty trained at 2.10 and now he's just over 3 he still gets a bit upset at times about pooing in the loo and we have poo accidents occasionally. No matter what a book says it can take months to get the hang of it. Don't both sit in the house feeling miserable if is not working.

SaneAsABoxOfFrogs · 05/10/2017 09:32

If you're due a baby soon, trying to potty train now may not be the best idea as they often regress once the new baby arrives. I am currently potty training my toddler (2 years 10 months) with a 7 week old baby and so far it's going okay. He decided he didn't want to wear nappies any more, else I wouldn't have pushed it - a lot of his peers at nursery who are the same age are only now potty training. He still wears a nappy at night, and will only poo in the potty if he happens to be naked, else he waits until his bedtime nappy, but we've had very few accidents. His eating and sleeping have regressed since the baby arrived, so I'm glad we waited. In terms of incentives, every time he does a wee on the potty he gets to put a pompom in a small jar, and when the jar is full he gets to buy a £2 toy car from the village shop. This is working well as when I was giving sweets he has enough bladder control to do a bit of wee, stop for a sweet, do a bit more, ask for another sweet and so on!
If she's not ready, it's not 'giving in' to stop and try again later.

BertrandRussell · 05/10/2017 09:34

If she's upset about it, back to nappies and try again in a couple of months. Potty training shouldn't be even remotely stressful for anyone. When she's ready it'll happen.

BertrandRussell · 05/10/2017 09:37

"But if I quit now seems like the wrong message..."

No, it sends exactly the right message. That it's no big deal, it's just a bit too tricky for her just yet, but it'll be fine in a little while.

Evelynismyspyname · 05/10/2017 09:40

As she's so young, and sometimes wants to use the potty but can't always "let go" she might actually be suited to pull ups. Takes the pressure off and totally different to a nearly 3 year old who's being a bit lazy and pull ups aren't a good idea for.

Put her in pull ups and leave the potty out. If she uses the potty, yay, if she uses the pull up it's ok, you don't care either way.

She'll regress and have accidents constantly when the baby arrives if you get her out of nappies so close to introducing a baby sibling. She's too young to mean to manipulate, but most kids notice that when they wet/ poo themselves mummy has to stop feeding the baby and pay (even negative is better than no) attention to them... So pull ups will help then too, and be worth keeping til the baby novelty wears off.

Lweji · 05/10/2017 09:45

I couldn't stand DS getting stressed out, so just left it for a few months.
Then I got him used to peeing in the toilet before bed. No pressure. When he was ready it was really easy and fast.

eeanne · 05/10/2017 09:45

Yeah maybe we should just go to pull ups. I'm pretty sick of this.

OP posts:

newmumwithquestions · 05/10/2017 10:16

To those saying to the OP to keep her DD in nappies at night I think she is - but her DD is holding everything in until night so it then all comes out and the nappy can't cope.

Potty training is hard. At some point you just need to bite the bullet and push on with it.... but now may not be that time.

Your DD sounds very similar to mine. I tried when she was just over 2, had a few days of it going well then she got really upset about it. I left it for a few months and then tried again and it was the opposite - a few days of me wondering what was going on (nothing in the potty) then at the end of day 3 she shouted wee wee, grabbed the potty and did it. There were accidents but it was a massive turning point as she knew what she had to do, and was easier to reason with.

No one else can tell you if now is the time to push on, or stop for now. What I do know is that giving it a break for a couple of months worked for us.

BertrandRussell · 05/10/2017 10:23

"Potty training is hard. At some point you just need to bite the bullet and push on with it.... but now may not be that time. "

I couldn't disagree more. It really shouldn't be hard. Expensive in napoies maybe, but that could be offset by no carpet shampooing!

If you wait til they are ready it just happens.

Obviously I'm talking about NT children. It can be different with children with additional needs.

Evelynismyspyname · 05/10/2017 10:31

Potty training isn't always hard. My eldest could "hold it" but not "let go" on demand at 22 months. I tried a couple of nappy free days because it was summer and she was telling me she had just weed or pooed and that she was doing a poo [delightful] which I thought was a sign she was ready, but although she could identify it and hold it she couldn't go on demand. In fact I think I was confused into thinking she was ready to potty train when in fact she just had good language skills, not early potty training readiness!

She also did the running in circles thing, and I was also pregnant and decided neither of us needed the stress or medal for early potty training so put her back in nappies.

8 months later she told me she didn't wear nappies any more and I didn't put one in her. She only had one accident, ever, which was at toddlers group where she was too busy playing to interrupt herself with a toilet trip. Just once.

Dc2 was the same except we didn't do the early attempt and he was a few months older, nearly 3 - again only one accident, and he was dry at night at the second time and has never wet the bed in his life (now 10).

My youngest was really difficult to potty train because he didn't want to stop being a baby and said so, very articulately, at over 3, and had to be bribed and forced out of nappies, so I know it can be difficult but it isn't always if you wait a bit and are willing to admit to yourself if you've tried a bit too early and try again later (though DC 3 did show me that this isn't fool proof!).

Buglife · 05/10/2017 10:45

I disagree that when they are ready it just happens easily though. DS is over 3 and whilst perfectly able to hold his bladder, using the toilets, dealing with his own pants etc finds some aspects of pooing difficult, he sometimes soils a bit, he can get a bit upset over stopping and going, he isn't massively fond of public toilets so will sometimes deny needing to go when out and have a small accident occasionally. and he has no additional needs. There are many children who are up to 4 and 5 who can have some issues with soiling, withholding, regressing when faced with a new situation such as pre school toilets and having to be increasingly independent. A child can be well out of the stage of needing nappies and still have issues toileting. It's upsetting for a lot of parents to be told "it should just happen" when they have some continuing Issues. A 5 year old who has soiling issues for example shouldn't have to go back to nappies because "if they were ready it would be easy". And it doesn't mean they have additional needs. It's normal.

Buglife · 05/10/2017 10:48

Although I digress from the OP as her DD is 2 so there is loads of time for her to wait and could well do it in 3 days in a few months. Also OP she may forget about this attempt in a month or so anyway so you can start afresh.

RandomUsernameHere · 05/10/2017 10:53

Sticker charts worked really well for us. My DCs did the same to begin with, as in they held onto number 2s until they got their night time nappy on. They had just turned two. I just persevered and after a few weeks they got it. Another thing that worked really well was giving them bubbles to blow while sitting on the loo. Apparently it uses the same muscles as doing a number 2?!
You could also let her choose a new potty or loo seat with a character on it that she likes.
I would stick it out a bit longer if you can, it does get easier. Good luck!

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newmumwithquestions · 05/10/2017 11:10

Ok I'll rephrase. Potty training can be hard. I'd even say often is.

For us DD forced our hand. She likes being naked so started taking everything off before she was ready to train. And going to the toilet wherever she was. She also started taking her clothes off, removing her nappy and putting her clothes back on.

So did we train too early? Maybe. I think it would have been easier if she's been more emotionally mature. But she thought she was ready.

But she would take everything off at night, poo in the corner of her cot then wake me up because she was cold. I wasn't massively keen on that continuing.

So like most things it depends on the child. Sometimes it's worth waiting, sometimes you don't really have the option.

eeanne · 05/10/2017 11:56

newmum that's correct, she wears nappies for nap and bedtime and is holding all poos until those moments. She was peeing happily in the potty for the first few days but now she doesn't want to go near it

We've been out for a short trip with training pants and they are still dry.

OP posts:

teaandbiscuitsforme · 05/10/2017 22:07

Are you just using a potty or have you tried a toilet with seat insert?

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