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Oh crap! Am I insane?

(28 Posts)
ThatsNotMyToddler Sat 26-Aug-17 18:58:42

Ds2 is nearly 20months. He's pretty verbal and has got to that lovely stage where he's repeating nearly everything we say to him. He's also started hiding behind the curtain when he does a poo. And also grabs his nappy sometimes when he wees. Nappy changes are increasingly fraught as he wants to be playing, not lying down.

Ds1, now 5, was a nightmare challenging to potty train. We waited for ages for him to be ready and he never was so we just cracked on at 3.6. It took ages and he's still not brilliant at asking to go to the toilet but luckily has the bladder of a camel so not regular accidents. It's partly a confidence issue I think and partly that he finds it embarrassing to talk about the toilet at all. He's making progress, but all in all it's an experience dh and I are not keen to repeat.

Anyway, so I've been reading oh crap potty training and it seems to make a lot of sense. Ds2 is learning loads at the moment, why not just tack this on? He's eager to please, loves praise in a way ds1 never has done. Ds1 will be back at school in 2wks and I've got a week off so would be at home to give it a go. But he's really young isn't he?

Looking for stories to give me confidence in my feeling that he's ready and, as she keeps saying in the book, capable of doing it. It would be great to get rid of the nappies. Sorry it's long and TIA

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teaandbiscuitsforme Mon 28-Aug-17 08:07:20

He is young but you know she says between 20 & 30 months so why not?

I trained DD in Feb at 22 months using Oh Crap and it's been brilliant. She had no Idea what to do but was insistent that she wasn't wearing a nappy any more!

Rolypolybabies Mon 28-Aug-17 18:21:18

Just done mine at 21 months. Was really easy and she wasn't upset if there was an accident as not at the stage of understanding embarrassment. Give it a shot for a few days, I'd not give up and try again in a month or so. Good luck

SecretFreebirther Mon 28-Aug-17 18:59:39

It's really not that young. Back when mothers had no choice but to wash every cloth nappy by hand it would be totally normal to put the effort in sooner rather than later. Good Luck!

OhHolyJesus Wed 06-Sep-17 20:34:56

How's it been going OP, did you give or a try? I'm on Day 2 and following Oh Crap - hanging in there but barely. Finding it tough not going out and not staying focused but determined to keep going.

LivininaBox Wed 06-Sep-17 20:37:37

Marking place as my DS is 21 months and I think may be ready, but I am worried he is too young! Can anyone summarise the oh crap method for me?

TheUnseenAcademic Wed 06-Sep-17 20:42:50

My nearly 19mo has been trying to copy her big brother and use the toilet since the start of the school hols- I'm watching with interest as she's starting to let us know before she does a poo although she seems to think she should have a willy and do wees standing up. My now 5yo was also not the easiest to train (at about 2 1/2). Do I need to buy/read the book, do you think?

FrankyStein Wed 06-Sep-17 21:19:55

You do realise it's about physiology yes? Do all the training you like but the fact remains that most children under 2.5 /3 just aren't physically capable.

What's the rush? When you wait until they've physically matured then there is no 'training' involved anyway. People always try and rush this stuff. It doesn't matter

LivininaBox Wed 06-Sep-17 21:25:07

It matters for me Franky because I have a bad back and nappy changing is difficult. My older DS gave up nappies right after he turned two. That was early compared to his peers, but like with everything, kids are ready at different ages.

ThatsNotMyToddler Wed 06-Sep-17 21:28:01

Haven't started doing anything as ds2 has decided to give up sleeping this week!! We thought that tired toddler plus tired parents wasn't all that conducive to learning anything that requires patience and perseverance.

I'm aware that there's an element of physiology involved Franky. There is no rush. But I'm also aware from my experience with ds1 that waiting until they're older doesn't necessarily make it easier. And it does matter when you're approaching school starting dates and you still have a less-than-reliable child. I'm not one for competitive toilet training, or any kind of parenting for that matter, but if there's a way to make it easier for everyone then I'll try it. And as I said in my OP ds2 is showing signs of awareness and interest in the toilet, much more than my ds1 ever did. It may be personality and that he will be easier to 'train' whenever we do it. But maybe also this is just a sign that he's ready and we could crack on.

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TheUnseenAcademic Wed 06-Sep-17 21:30:53

I wouldn't have dreamt about trying before 2.5 until my DD started to show such an interest. I think there's also a difference between being ready to train for poos and for wees (my mum maintains that my brother and I were toilet trained for pooing from about 18mo). Any opinions on whether it's worth trying to potty train for poos earlier and seeing how it goes with weeing, or is that just going to massively string things out and make it all confusing?

TheUnseenAcademic Wed 06-Sep-17 21:32:28

And sorry if I'm hijacking by posing questions OP!

FrankyStein Wed 06-Sep-17 21:39:03

Physiology is more than just an element .. it's practically the whole thing. Your child won't be ready, honestly. But crack on and good luck

greatpumpkin Wed 06-Sep-17 21:44:54

I potty trained my ds at 22 months, and it was really easy, took 2-3 days for him to get it completely and then after another week he started being dry at night too. I did it because I thought he was ready and if I hadn't had good results within a few days I would have given up and waited until he was older.

So my advice would be to give it a go but if you haven't made significant progress within a couple of days, accept it isn't the right time yet. There's no point in making this hard work.

swimbikerun123 Wed 06-Sep-17 21:51:49

My DS was 20 months when he trained. It wasn't planned! I was more than surprised as he had never shown any signs of hiding to poo or trying to remove his nappy. It was probably the novelty of being naked waist down and the reward of a chocolate button!

Nan0second Wed 06-Sep-17 21:58:26

Physiologically they can be ready from 18months.
My just turned 2 year old trained in a couple of hours for wees. She's never had a poo accident and has had 10 wee accidents in the last 3-4 months since.
Definitely read the book first. It really helps, mainly with countering the 'modern' belief that 2 is early to train. (Up until 1983 when disposables became mainstream, 2 was late)

FrankyStein Wed 06-Sep-17 22:03:33

Ah so it's competitive early training is it? LOL

Hopefully some sane folk will be along soon to tell it like it actually is. For the record though, my DD was dry at about 2.5 and my DS about 3. You know, normal ages with little stress.

Until these sane people rock up though, I'll enjoy reading tales of 9 month olds being potty trained. Just a matter of time

MotherofA Wed 06-Sep-17 22:06:31

I did DD at 18 months and she was out of nappies at night by 2 .

ThatsNotMyToddler Wed 06-Sep-17 22:13:24

I'm not being competitive Franky. I can reword my post above to say that I know the physiology is important but that's not the only thing required to successfully potty train. With my older son we waited and waited for him to be 'ready' and it never happened. We have all had a miserable time of it, quite frankly. I don't know if you've read the Oh Crap book, but a lot of what she says makes a lot of sense (obviously there are other bits that I would question or, frankly, ignore). It's not about competing (with whom?!?), it's about making things as easy for all of us as possible. I don't know if 20months is too young for my son to potty train. I'm not convinced that the benefits of being out of nappies are worth the hassle given that he can't yet pull his trousers up or down. The point of this thread was to see how other people had got on. And clearly others have had success with what is now considered early potty training.

I'm thrilled for you that your children were easy to train at 'normal' ages. Good for you.

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chockwockydoda Wed 06-Sep-17 22:15:39

When I had my eldest your child had to be trained to poo and wee in the toilet to go to nursery at two so if you wanted to go back to work your kid was clean. If your child is aware that it has been to the toilet and wants that nappy off then get on with it. Sit in the kitchen all day for a few days with a po. Franky I don't see how you would know that another persons child isn't psychologically ready to stop using nappies. Are you Jesus?

MotherofA Wed 06-Sep-17 23:56:08

2 was very late as PP says . My mum trained four of us at 12-18 months she says there were no major issues .

SecretFreebirther Thu 07-Sep-17 07:12:01

Franky I think the difference between those potty trained at say 12m rather than 3yrs is the ability for the child to 'wait'.
With elimination communication (EC) even a newborn baby gives cues when they need to go and the focus is on the parent learning and recognising them and giving the baby the opportunity to 'potty'. A 12-18m old can communicate very well hence many PPs having great success with this method.
Waiting until a child can physiologically 'retain' urine and faeces for your convenience results in many, many months of, for you, changing dirty nappies and, for your child, sitting in dirty nappies.

Nan0second Thu 07-Sep-17 09:20:14

It's not competitive. I wasn't planning to do this at 2 and I have told nobody about it (anonymous forums aside).
I should have done it earlier when my daughter told me "no nappy" but I listened to the 'modern' advice of waiting (?for what).
For the record, she can hold her urine and facaes no problem.

OhHolyJesus Thu 07-Sep-17 15:02:39

How's it going OP?
I'm on Day 3 on Oh Crap method with 19 mo DS (yes he is ready).

I haven't told anyone but one close friend and family for fear of bragging or trying too early and looking like a show off - when did it get competitive? I'm only doing this as he started by himself - I certainly wasn't ready!

ThatsNotMyToddler Thu 07-Sep-17 18:41:19

Hi OhHoly. We haven't actually done anything as we are in the midsts of some kind of hideous sleep avoidance. Would be interested to know how you're doing though? Does your ds seem to be getting the idea?

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