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Oh help it's all gone to shit, literally(15 Posts)
DS is just 3, has been showing signs of readiness. Last weekend I decided to start potty training using the Oh Crap! book. We stayed in for three days, did bare bum then clothes. He was happily using the potty and sitting on the toilet though not using it- very proud of himself. By day three he was having no accidents. Very happy.
Day 4 - went to nursery, they took him regularly - he was greasy in the morning, but in the afternoon he suddenly refused to pee in the toilet and started going in his pants. All changes of clothes were used up and he was in a pull-up when I got there.
Day 5- at home, one accident.
Day 6 and 7 - back at nursery, total refusal - wee everywhere - they put him back in pull-ups.
Day 8 - at home and its worse than square one. He's actually holding his wee until he's off the potty. Gone through five pairs of trousers, poo on the carpet- I'm losing the will to live. He also will not go near an actual toilet. Tried to take him when we were out last night and he had total hysterics. Was desperate to go - dancing about and sobbing and holding his willy but trying to get him on the loo was impossible so I had to put a pull-up on. He's in a state and so am I. No idea what to do. Help!
Have you tried asking him what's gone wrong? Has he tried weeing standing up, would that help? Or even in the bath? Could he be cheered up/distracted if you went out and he chose a new potty, or you covered a potty with stickers and pretended it was new? Or a new loo seat? Could he be scared of something, e.g. a slamming loo seat cover?
Could you try putting him in pull ups to sit on the potty with for a few days. Sounds like he's a bit scared to go, or doesn't like "losing" his wee/poo to the toilet.
This method seems to really work well with some kids who get uncomfortable going on the toilet.
I can only assume there's something he doesn't like about the nursery toilets and that's putting him off toilets full stop. Do they get messy/smelly as the day goes on? That's usually the case with toilets used by children...
I have asked him but he doesn't seem to know, or isn't able to articulate it. Things seem slightly better today- he's going on the potty happily when asked at least, but still running off to hide when he needs a wee instead of hovering round the potty which is what he was doing the first few days. He still won't go near the actual toilet- even getting him into the bathroom to clean him when he pooed everywhere was difficult yesterday. I'm going a bit nutty tbh because I don't feel like I can take him anywhere while he'll only go in a potty, and we already spent three days solid in our small flat last weekend. Tomorrow we're meant to be going to view some houses about an hour's drive away and I have no idea what to do- just put him back in pull-ups for the day, or at least while in other people's houses? 😱 Or take the potty with us?
Put him in pull ups tomorrow while viewing houses, my DS was like this, allow him to stay in pull ups for a while again
We used oh crap recently with ds age 2.3. We also found he did brilliantly at home (No accidents) but consistently had them at nursery his 2 days per week. Friday was the first day he came home with no accidents at nursery which was week 6 of training! We also has 10 days of a mega regression where he started wetting himself through at home which corresponded with his new sister arriving. I suppose my advice would be to stick with it and be consistent. I think nursery will always be more difficult as there's so much going on.
We found introducing a sticker reward chart and home and nursery was a game changer. Also not giving any attention to accidents just quietly changing him into dry clothes, and the stickers are only given if he wees in the potty AND keeps his pants dry!
I'd take the potty with you. It would be consistent, and would help to reassure your DS - he'd know that he'd have his potty and that there wouldn't be a risk of any toilets.
We carried a potty around for a few months with DD, and are now carting it around for DS (who is almost 3). It's bulky, but still a zillion times more convenient than having to plan our day around proximity to toilets or worse. Especially as for small children there can be very little time between them realising they need the loo and weeing/pooing everywhere.
We have a travel potty, with a lid, which also makes things a lot easier.
Take the potty with you, better to be consistent if he's really reluctant it might be worth going back to pull ups and starting from scratch in a month or so.
It definitely sounds like the issue is related to nursery. Were they not promoting/prompting too much/ taking him away from his play? Whatever it was sounds like it's been a bit distressing for him.
If you want to carry on (I would!), I would go for consistency so I wouldn't put a pull up on, leave after he's done a wee and take a potty with you.
When's he back in nursery?
Get rid of pull ups. They're just nappies really and it's confusing.
When you're out if you're somewhere where an accident wouldn't be convinient then put pants on so he feels the wet but a pull up over the top. Only if you really have to though.
Sounds like he's ready to do it and you just need to push through this and be consistent.
I agree with previous posters, consistency is important, pull ups are confusing, so take the travel potty (if you haven't already been looking at the houses) and keep asking DS to sit on it and give lots of praise for doing so, and maybe even bribes (eg, a smartie) for each successful visit. Keep at it, he will get there, they all do, but the road is rarely smooth! X
And definitely don't put a pull up on when he refuses the potty. He's got to learn that not using the potty equals wetness and a big clean up. Just remind the potty is there when he needs a wee and leave him to it. Don't keep reminding and pressuring. I've found my son behaves better when I'm not constantly asking.
Our problem is the reverse. DS is 2.9, dry and nursery but peeing and pooing in underwear and on carpet. Any advice?!
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