3.5 yrs, still in nappies, showing no interest in toilet / potty no matter what

[Orange80]

Dc2 is still in nappies and he's 3.5. He's the only one of his peer group in nappies and am actually getting a little tired of changing them, to be honest.

We haven't done anything to scare him about the toilet or potty, and have never made a big deal about accidents or anything. But he gets upset if he's not wearing a nappy even for a minute.

I can't seem to say anything to persuade him. And he hates being without nappies so can't do the naked in the summer thing.

Is 3.5 a bit old to be in nappies?! His older brother was 2.5 when he potty trained.

Any ideas? We've tried all the books, buying special pants, getting him to watch dad / big brother on the toilet, lots of positive encouragement. None of it works.

[Heratnumber7]

All kids are different. I bet £100 he won't still be in nappies when he's 16.

I wouldn't put any pressure on him, he'll let you know when he's ready.

[HeyRoly]

I was in your shoes with DC1 at that age. She just would not do it. She didn't wet or soil herself, she would withhold for 8+ hours to the point of pain. It was completely behavioural - she's extremely stubborn. I also tried everything. In the end I had to delay it as I was heavily pregnant with DC2 and crippled with SPD.

At the grand old age of 3.10 I told her that, starting on X day, it was KNICKERS EVERY DAY. When she started the usual pattern of withholding, I got angry and said if we had to sit in the bathroom all night until she did a wee, we would.

Everyone says don't get angry, but it was actually the only thing that broke her iron will Cracked it from that day forward.

She made our lives hell for another 6-12 months by refusing to use toilets away from home. She'd insist on a potty, but nowhere that had hand dryers because she was terrified of them. Sometimes we'd have to let her sit on a potty in a car park. God, it was grim.

She's 5 now and normal! Doesn't mind public toilets or hand dryers or anything

[TanteJeanne]

Will he have a try at using the potty or toilet if he can carry on wearing the nappy before and after?
Is the issue being unable to go without a nappy? Or being unwilling to use potty/loo?

As a starting point, to break the habit, could you get him to wear pants under a nappy? Just to feel something different yet still feel the security of the nappy.
Are there different types of nappies/ pull-ups you could try- again, just gently varying the established habit without taking him out of his comfort zone.