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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Poo Nightmares!!

6 replies

OneChildWonder31 · 26/03/2017 22:03

WARNING! Possibly too much information about pooing; then again it's nothing we don't all deal with daily, haha!

We started training DD last August at 2 years 4 months. We both work in schools so the summer holidays was perfect. She did pretty well and by the time she went back to nursery in September, she was generally doing fine.

The first month back in nursery, she really struggled, which we eventually realised was because she had to now ask to be taken to the toilet, whereas at home, we had just had the potty out and she could go herself without asking anybody. Also, she was generally having too much fun in nursery and would rather wet/soil herself while playing than have to miss out.

The problem then got worse in October when she had a horrendous bout of constipation brought on by her holding in her poo because she didn't want to miss out at nursery. After a trip to A&E and some Movicol, she finally passed it but it's had a huge effect on her. She was scared for months about poo hurting her.

Now, 6 months later, she has not improved whatsoever. She is generally a very good girl and likes to do well. However, all the bribes and rewards in the world do not work with getting her to poo in the potty. If she starts pooing, she will cross her legs in order to hold it in. If you ask her if she is pooing, she lies and says no.

We have given her prune juice, syrup of figs and lactulose just in case the poo was too hard again, but this has had no improvement. When we catch her having a poo, we put her on the potty, but usually she will squeeze out the tiniest poo ever. She will not sit and get a whole poo out, so when she needs a poo, it will take her all day and at least 6 pairs of underwear as she will just continuously soil herself.

I am literally at my wits end. I really, really don't want to put her back in nappies, but I have no idea what else to do. It's really starting to depress me that we've now been toilet training for 8 months and she is still so unreliable with poos. (She is mostly fine with wees and will happily use the potty whenever she needs it for a wee.) She is almost 3 now.

I have bribed her with every thing that she likes (stickers, chocolate, Peppa Pig, etc). I'm starting to wonder if she has a medical issue. I honestly sometimes think that she can't always feel if the poo is coming out, and by the time she realises, she is too embarrassed to admit she has had an accident and so tries to cover it up. But then other days, she doesn't seem to either notice or care when she has pooed herself.

Does anybody have any advice at all? TIA

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Twinkie84 · 28/03/2017 18:52

I'm sorry i don't have any advice but I'm in the same boat as you!! My ds is exactly the same as your DD!! But only problem is my ds is is 4 and will be starting school this September!! He totally gets it at home (this is a very new occurence though!) but as soon as he is at nursery he completely forgets to ask or is too anxious to? I think he gets embarrassed to tell anyone once he is had a accident!

I'm just hoping that he will finally 'get' it and soon! I'm getting​ very stressed that he'll be that child at school that is constantly having accidents Sad

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BellyBean · 28/03/2017 19:01

My dd has just turned 3 and we gave potty training another go this week. She too seems oblivious about when she needs a poo and when she is doing it.

Despite being a little star with wees I've put her back in pull ups after the training, I'm convinced she'll click with it in the next few months.

It feels like such a gamble, but fingers crossed!

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mycatloveslego · 28/03/2017 19:08

My DS was very similar, a lot of withholding at nursery then constipation as a result. It's a behavioural issue and it will get better with time.
We used all the same tricks as you with bribes/reward charts but it didn't seem to help. One of the most helpful things we used was an app called 'Mr Poo goes home to Pooland'.
He seemed to really 'get' the story and things got slowly better from there.
He's 5 now and until 2 months ago he had never, ever done a poo outside the house, but now is absolutely fine.

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Watto1 · 28/03/2017 19:12

We had a book called 'Liam goes poo on the toilet'. After months of DS refusing to poo on the lookout/potty, we read this book to him twice and then miraculously DS then took himself off to the toilet for a poo!

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Watto1 · 28/03/2017 19:13

Lookout should be loo obviously!

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OneChildWonder31 · 29/03/2017 00:11

Aw thanks so much for your advice everyone!
I'm going to have a look at the stories / apps. She's had two good days at nursery but she's due a poo soon so we'll just have to see how this week pans out.
To all those in the same situation as me - we will stay strong and our kids will get there! Smile

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