Sits in it and does not care....

[gemmamummy1980]

Hi there everyone,

My Five year old DD has started this terrible system of just pooing her pants. We have been to the doctor/counsellor with and they confirm nothing is wrong with her health and she is not showing any signs of abuse etc. She is just lazy/ does it for attention. She holds it in all day at school and when she gets home, never uses the loo. I have tried to get her to sit on the toilet after dinner to see if we can get her into a routine, but as soon as she gets off the loo, she poos her pants!

She was fully toilet trained at two years old and this problem is only recent (last six months), nothing in her life has changed major in that time.

The thing is she won't come to me and tell me she has done it and will just sit, on the sofa, in her bedroom, in the car or walking when we are out with fully pooed knickers, it's almost like she is not bothered by the smell or mess!! Has anyone else experienced this, where their DD will just remain soiled and not care?? I don't really see a way forward apart from to keep her in pull ups and let it ride it's way out naturally. We have put her back in pull ups full time for now as she will just destroy her knickers otherwise. She wees fine and will take the pull up off to wee on the toilet. But again she will happily sit/ walk around with a pull up filled up to the brim, and the only way I can change her without it getting messy is like a baby (lying on the floor)... this makes me feel very ill having to change a five year old like a baby. Any other ideas of how to change a soiled girl without it getting everywhere? I'm really at a complete loss atm.

[KickingKat]

An old 5 or a just turned 5 year old?

Short of nothing changing at school/diet/illness I would sit her down and explain quite firmly that 5 year olds do not poo in their pants. That tomorrow she will be going back into knickers and she is not to poo in them. Tell her each time she lets you know she needs a poo or does one in the loo she can have a small treat. If she poos herself she will lose something instead. Does she poo at the same time mostly. Don't take your eyes off her and try to catch her before she does it.

In an otherwise verbal, well child I would be pretty firm about this.

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

I would def be telling her babies don't have TV time or sweets or fun activities etc. If medically she is OK then punishment is appropriate imo. Stick her in the shower to clean her properly with no chat /fun /

[ohisay]

My 5 year old has had episodes like this, even did it at school a number of times, Drs said same thing, a phase.
Regular toilet trips and loss of fun things when he didn't go to the toilet soon put a stop to it!
We have a couple of times given fibregel when he seems to be trying to hold in poos (and soiling in the attempt to not go to the toilet at all), and after half hour or so sent him to the toilet. He's then praised for using the toilet properly.
Made him deal with his dirty stuff too. Somehow sorting the mess out bothered him but smelling and getting sore did not!

[LegosAndSkiing]

Very similar to what Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 I would be taking away favourite toys/gadgets, and I also wouldn't be taking her out in public if she asks why you and her aren't going out, tell her why.

And I don't think you should be putting this down to laziness or attention seeking, if she is doing wees in the toilet she would be automatically be doing number twos in the toilet also.

Good luck OP I hope this "problem" comes to a stop very soon.