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Very stubborn regression after initially easy training - at my wits end!

(2 Posts)
HopelesslydevotedtoGu Wed 01-Mar-17 15:22:12

Hi, my daughter potty trained pretty easily shortly after she turned 2. My childminder suggested it as she was interested and the other children there were training; we had a new baby and hadn't planned to train yet, but were happy to give it a go. She took to it really easily. The only snag was that she was stubborn if I reminded her to use her potty - she liked to remember herself and go without help, if I reminded her she always insisted she didn't need to go (even when hopping around!). As I found clearing up after accidents difficult (I had a new baby and we live in a carpeted flat) I did nag her a bit. We got to the stage where she was dry most days.

After around a month she just started soiling herself more and more at home, refusing her potty. I tried encouragement and stickers without success. I put her back in nappies as the cleanup was too much. However she was still potty trained at her Childminder, where she happily used the potty. I would take her there in a nappy, they changed her into pants and she was dry all day, and when I picked her up I put a nappy on again as otherwise she wet herself within 20 mins of getting home sad

Another month and she started having so many accidents at Childminder that they put her back into nappies. I decided to carry on with nappies cheerfully and wait until she showed interest again, and not mention the potty at all to take any pressure off.

However she regressed even more, she stopped telling us when she pooed. Then she started lying about pooing, so if we don't notice the smell she just has a dirty nappy for ages. She tries to run away and messes around when we do change her nappy. It is really infuriating - I try to stay calm, but when she repeatedly denies she has pooed and then I find hard crusty poo all over her bum and vagina and she keeps wriggling and kicking whilst I'm trying to clean it, I do get cross sad

She has some intermittent mild constipation and I give movicol if she hasn't pooed for a couple of days.

This morning we hit a low point as she has been constipated a few days with tummy pain so I gave movicol. After bfing baby I came to find her and she'd done a poo so explosive and huge that it was all the way up her back to her neck, and sliding onto the floor. She had just carried on playing and ignored it!

I really don't know what to do. Just wait until she shows interest? (She is coming up to 3). Go cold turkey and switch to pants (I am sure she has the skills to use potty, it's just she doesn't want to!). Try an external reward system eg stickers again? (She just doesn't seem very motivated by them)

I've also tried cloth nappies with and without the dry layer (no change), and encouragement to sit on potty after nappy change (she refuses)

She generally loves being a big sister but I imagine some of this is trying to be a 'baby' again. Not sure how to respond though.

MoreProseccoNow Sat 04-Mar-17 13:37:04

I would leave her. I have heard that if you start too early then they regress - sorry. My DD wasn't ready till 3.5, any attempts until then were disasters & she became very agitated about it. It was counter-productive, so we stopped. But when she was ready (she decided one day she was young to wear pants) - she got it straight away. Maybe one accident, dry at night straight away. There is no point in pushing it when they're not ready.

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