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Son cant have a poo on the toilet

(25 Posts)
SarDan123 Thu 16-Feb-17 16:11:33

I have a 4 year old son who will sit on the toilet but cant relax to have a poo on it. He went straight to standing and weeing at the toilet and with a lot of encouragement he will sit on it, whilst I try to relax him, by reading to him, playing with figures etc but he just cant poo on it. ive tried all the special seats etc. If I put him in a pull up he will happily stand, play with figures and poo, but cant on the toilet. Ive tried everything to get him to do it but hit a brick wall. Ive tried a reward, ive tried him sitting on toilet with a pull up on to start him off, ive tried reading and playing while on the toilet but nothing. Any help or ideas would be great please. Just to mention also we have only just managed to start him with no pull up on in bed. We now get maybe 4 nights out of 7 where he wakes up wet

lilyborderterrier Thu 16-Feb-17 20:13:37

Hi are you me ? I was about to write the same post about my daughter, she was 4 on Monday and will not poo in the toilet, she can hold it in and has never pooed at nursery ( she does 2 full days a week). She has allergies and bless her, her poos are not nice, she is a regular pooer normally doing one in her night time nappy as she wakes up. But after nursery for the last 2 Thursdays she immediately needed a poo. It's caused a massive scene in the library but I've been strong and made her use the toilet so she has brilliantly done one, after much screaming and crying. And tonight I've not put a nappy on her at bedtime!!
Wish me luck I'm going full throttle !! No more nappies !

SheepyFun Thu 16-Feb-17 20:20:47

DD pooed in her pants for a full year, so I feel your pain. One thing I was told was that to relax properly to have a poo, your feet need to be on the floor/something supportive. DD eventually managed to start pooing on the potty - on it she's much closer to an ideal poo position (roughly squatting). We do have a step stool for the loo, but it isn't really high enough once she's sitting on it. DD is 4 now, and it's a good 6 months or more since she started pooing on the potty, and while she occasionally manages to poo in the loo, it's much more commonly on the potty even now, and she's tall for her age. Worth a try?

Velvian Thu 16-Feb-17 20:27:14

Exactly the same with my 3.5 year old; he finally started doing the ocxasional poo on toilet xmas time, but has regressed since increasing nursery sessions after xmas & back to pooing his pants again :-(
Good tip on the feet touching the floor thing; that makes sense.

Theaprilfool Thu 16-Feb-17 20:31:38

This is really common right in the school age, Honestly I'm not just saying that to make you feel better!

It will pass too, just use nappies or pullups and don't make a big deal out of it. it's far better that they are going everyday than holding and becoming impacted.

Sweets101 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:34:40

Get the send the poo to poo land app! Worked for DD who I honestly thought would never poo on a toilet at one point.
I'll try and find a link

Sweets101 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:36:45

Sweets101 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:37:10

That's the android one

Sweets101 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:37:45

cauliflowercheese14 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:39:17

I'm in this situation too but Pooland hasn't worked and she still insists on a nappy to poo in. I even lift the poo out of the nappy and put it in the toilet and we flush it away together confused but she just won't poo on the loo.

bitteroldhag Thu 16-Feb-17 20:39:22

Very very common until about age 5, no need to panic.

cauliflowercheese14 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:41:25

I try to be relaxed about it aprilfool but I feel stressed about her starting school and also judged by my family who keep asking me about it. They already think I'm nuts because I have to sit with her while she goes to sleep. My older daughter had no problems with toilet training or sleeping so I have no idea why dd2 is so bad or how to handle it.

Tubbyinthehottub Thu 16-Feb-17 20:42:55

Sounds to me like he is not ready to go without a pull up at night, I wouldn't worry about that. I don't think there's anything you can do except wait until he's dry at night. Daytime pooing is a different issue and I wouldn't allow him the pull ups for that, he will get sick of pooing his pants sooner or later.

Ghostofasmile Thu 16-Feb-17 20:44:58

Tubby most likely he will start pooing at night when he has his pull-up on. They can literally hold it for weeks at this age and cause damage.

Sweets101 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:46:12

Well if you scoop the poor out the nappy and send it off to pool and she doesn't need to do it on the loo to send it to pooland so why would she? confused
Took DD a while of pooland to work. Then DM told her the shops were short on nappies so all nappies had to be saved for babies now as they can't sit on toilets because they would fall in. I was hmm but it worked. DD went off to the loo and hasn't used a nappy since. I suppose it must have made sense to her!

Sweets101 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:47:00

Ahh typos!

BrieAndChilli Thu 16-Feb-17 20:51:24

We blow bubbles through a straw into a cup of water, DS tries to blow me across the room into the bath (I once accidentky fell right into the bath while he was doing this which he found hilarious so this is his favourite thing to do)
He also doesn't like people in the room when he is actually pooing so maybe leave the room for a bit, I let him watch something in his tablet

cherrytree63 Thu 16-Feb-17 20:52:28

My son was like that. He was dry from day one of potty training, but needed a nappy for pooing until nearly four years.
It didn't help that he was often constipated.
We were hosting Christmas dinner for family (snooty in laws) when he decided to take himself off to poo for the first time on his own. He burst into the dining room beaming from ear to ear, and proudly announced to everyone that he'd just done a poo in the toilet. grin

Tubbyinthehottub Thu 16-Feb-17 20:58:17

My DS wore pull ups for bed until aged 5 as he would wet the bed and sleep through it. He also didn't like pooing on the toilet when he was younger, maybe 3/4 but he never pooed during the night, I just thought they were separate problems. I think if you put a nappy on for pooing the problem will go on longer. Bribery worked a bit. And being able to put his feet on something while pushing. I'm not recommending no poo for a week but mine would reluctantly go after about three days.

anahata Fri 17-Feb-17 03:17:04

Try giving the little ones a balloon to blow up. They have to concentrate on that so relax. Between relaxing and the muscles being used to blow forcefully, they are usually able too poo.

lilyborderterrier Fri 17-Feb-17 12:34:13

So chuffed my daughter 4 on Monday was dry all night !!! I woke her for a wee when I went to bed and she slept through until 7.15am coming into tell me she needed a wee. Brilliant !!! Onwards and upwards we go! No more nappies smile

SarDan123 Fri 17-Feb-17 13:02:39

Thank you so much for the link smile

SarDan123 Fri 17-Feb-17 13:03:10

Thanks everyone I have a few things to try so wish me luck smile

Tiredmum82 Fri 17-Feb-17 16:50:22

I tried to make it fun (!) .... my boys love this charity 'do a big poo' song. Might help? Good luck! You'll get there!

imjessie Sun 19-Feb-17 08:41:16

My son is 5 with special needs and he is exactly the same . After chatting ok the sn pages it was suggested I get him to sit on the toilet with a nappy on and get him to poo like that which he will now do . So he has control , knows when he wants to go And asks , sits on the loo And poos , I tip it out use toilet wipes and we say goodbye to it etc. .. I just need to get rid of th nappy but it will take time as everything does with him. I'm happy though we are progressing . Maybe you should try this ? It's something sensory that they don't like the poo leaving their body without the sensation of something touching them . I can't ask my son because he can't talk but maybe ask your child? Also it was suggested you put toilet roll across the pan ( under the seat ) as the next step so it touches them while they poo ? Worth a try maybe .

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