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4yr old wetting herself every day

(4 Posts)
GoingSlowly Wed 01-Feb-17 18:13:47

I am at my wits end with this. My DD is 4 (starts school Sept) and was potty trained when 2 yrs old. She goes for weeks or days without having an accident, so she is capable of not wetting herself. The problem keeps coming back though. Recently she has not had a dry day for about three weeks. Mostly it happens at home, but occasionally at pre-school too.

Every day she says she won't do it again, but then does it once or twice the next day. I feel I have tried everything. We started off with getting a sticker for every successful wee, then every dry day. When she got five stickers she got somehting of her choosing - usually a magazine. She has now lost interest in that. Occasionally I use a treat to eat as a reward, but she even gets bored of that.

I've tried taking things away if she has a wet day - no fruit after dinner, no TV, sending her to her room for a bit. Or a combination of both stick and reward - 'If you have a dry day you will get this Kinder egg and of you don't you won't and will have no TV'.
I've tried periods of not reacting to it, and the last few days I have been reacting because it is just infuriating me. I know she can do it properly, so it's like she is choosing not to or not bothering. There seems to be no pattern as to when she has dry/wet days.

Today, exasperated, I even ate the kinder egg that she 'lost' in front of her with a cup of tea. Hence why I'm writing this post. She didn't seem that bothered.

Wolfiefan Wed 01-Feb-17 18:15:23

Do you regularly send her to the toilet?
Have you had a GP check for UTI?

GoingSlowly Wed 01-Feb-17 18:17:13

It's been going on and off for so long now, I wouldnt think it is a UTI? I could go and ask him though.
I regularly ask her to go to the toilet and remind her to go. She mostly refuses and even starts arguing with me about it. 'But I don't need it, I don't need it!'. Then she wets herself about 5 mins later.

Stepmum123 Tue 14-Feb-17 22:42:39

Clearly she does need it, could you try saying well even if you think you don't you need to sit on the toilet and try for mummy and if one comes out then you get this treat? You will need to be firm with her about trying. It's difficult to refuse to try.

As one of the few things that children can control continence can be a huge issue. For my DSS it was his eating that suffered. Does she get to choose some of the things that happen in her life? For example what she wants for dinner some nights or what books to have before bed? And maybe even help you with the dishes or laundry? That really helped my DSS with his battle for independence he absolutely loves to help out and feel that his opinion is valued sometimes, it sorted out some of his frustration about being told what to do at the more important times such as toilet time, bed time, getting dressed time etc.

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