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Help - potty training 3.5 year old

(26 Posts)
Frozentinkerbelle1 Tue 27-Dec-16 14:03:07

I really need some help. I'm potty/toilet training 3.5 year old.

So far today he's had 7 accidents and no successes. Twice after being sat on potty and not doing anything.

We can't continue to have him in nappies. He's getting too old. He starts school in September.

Any tips to help greatly appreciated.

Many thanks

OP’s posts: |
DorotheaHomeAlone Tue 27-Dec-16 14:12:10

Frozen. Is this day one? That's what the first 2 days looked like here.

RandomDent Tue 27-Dec-16 14:15:53

Following in sympathy and for tips! My 3 (nearly 4) year old is great with a bare bum but as soon as pants are involved, he wees and poos in them.

Haggisfish Tue 27-Dec-16 14:17:17

We left it for another few weeks. Ds just turned four and cracked it about six weeks ago. Minimal accidents.

Frozentinkerbelle1 Tue 27-Dec-16 14:21:02

It's day 1 and I am off work until next Tuesday and want to get him sorted this week.

I think he's too lazy.

I'm finding it difficult to remain calm. Fed up of cleaning up wee!!

My husband has day off tomorrow and wants to go furniture shopping - can't do that now!! He says put pull up on him but surely that's sending mixed messages?


OP’s posts: |
Haggisfish Tue 27-Dec-16 14:23:34

But if they just aren't aware of the signal they won't get it?

Haggisfish Tue 27-Dec-16 14:24:51

We would leave him nappy free at times in house but then put nappy on to go out. We would try to encourage him to think about if he needed a wee and look out for his signals to prompt him.

DorotheaHomeAlone Tue 27-Dec-16 14:33:07

I don't know if age or gender makes a difference but dd just went straight into pants (she was just two). I put her on the potty loads and just stayed at home. By day three there were fewer accidents but mainly because I'd worked out that she needed to wee every two hours and just put her on then. She got better and better at holding it and her brain started to link pants down and sitting on potty with time to pee so we spent less time waiting around with her sitting on it. She was mostly daytime dry after about a fortnight. I really had to bite my tongue to never scold, especially when she'd get up from the potty and instantly wee, but I think it's important to keep it low pressure and conflict free.

Haggisfish Tue 27-Dec-16 17:17:32

I think sex does make a difference. Dd also pretty muchbyrsined herself but at a much younger age.

Soubriquet Tue 27-Dec-16 17:23:57

I potty trained my dd in summer

She was 3.4

Day one was a nightmare. Honestly I could've cried.

Day 2 was just as bad if not worse in the morning. Started getting better in the afternoon.

Day 3 she had it just about fracked actually. We had maybe one accident on day 3

By day 4 she was done. She hasn't had an accident since.

She stil needs pull ups at night but in the day she's been brilliant

Stick with it. Honestly. If there is no improvement in 3 days, then put him back in nappies and try again when it's warmer so he can go bare bum

Dangermouse80 Tue 27-Dec-16 17:32:42


Soubriquet Tue 27-Dec-16 17:38:27

Yes to bribery too

Dd had stickers for every wee she did and a sweet for a poo

If she filled her chart she got a toy

Frozentinkerbelle1 Wed 28-Dec-16 06:31:52

Thank you for everything.

Day 1 was awful as everyone mentioned.

Day 2 and already 2 accidents. We've been up since 5.20😩. Awake since 4.30.

Fed up of it all and tired out.

Just want to give up but he needs to be out of comfort of nappies.

OP’s posts: |
Bagina Wed 28-Dec-16 06:42:17

You poor thing! I'd have a set plan, like 5 days, if zero improvement leave for 3 weeks and try for 5 days again. Yes to bribery. Chocolate button/coin or whatever. Something instant.

I think they do have to feel wet pants to understand it. We used to take potty everywhere in a bag (initially scared of toilets) and just loads of changes of clothes. We were advised not to use pull ups, but obviously lots of people do.

Good luck! Stick with it for now!

pklme Wed 28-Dec-16 07:13:12

Jelly baby for every pee in the potty. If he is nearly four, is he big enough to stand on a step at the toilet? Put a ping pong ball in, it's much more fun.

Frozentinkerbelle1 Wed 28-Dec-16 07:15:01

Thank you.

I'm going to try and stick with it today and tomorrow I think.

I don't want to leave house. He definitely can't go anywhere without pull ups.

If I do give up - it's difficult to try again cos I work term time and would have to wait until February to have time with him.

I feel it's a time bomb with school in September.

OP’s posts: |
BathshebaNewYearStone Wed 28-Dec-16 07:19:17

DS2 only cracked it once he was in nursery, and still had accidents in reception. In fact, he's in y1 now and wet himself just before leaving for school before the Christmas holidays. He and DD don't seem to have very strong signals when they need to go. fsad

confusedandemployed Wed 28-Dec-16 07:23:12

Don't know if this is helpful or not...DD is 3.10 and is toilet trained in the lowest sense of the word. She got it very quickly at about 2y6m but has never really responded to the wee signal. I know she does get them and understand them because she will go for a wee occasionally. But she still wets at home regularly - never in school (well nursery).

Give it to the end of the holidays and leave it then til half term. You'll have the long summer holidays. Good luck

confusedandemployed Wed 28-Dec-16 07:24:06

Lowest? Not what I meant but...

LadyMaryofDownt0n Wed 28-Dec-16 07:29:38

Hi don't panic your going great. My ds is 3.6 months & we are currently potty training, he's using the potty but we physically have to put him on it, he's not telling us he has to go.

We're still using pull ups at night/going out but I've resigned myself to the fact that's he's going to take a bit longer than dd did. I also feel under pressure I work long hours/shift work so I'd like to get this sorted before I go back to work next week.

Frozentinkerbelle1 Wed 28-Dec-16 17:35:05

Thank you everyone.

Still no successes to report.

He has been on the toilet and potty countless times and nothing. Sometimes gets off and rep minutes later has an accident.

Do I persevere or give up and put nappies back on?

So fed up - not been out for 2 days.


OP’s posts: |
Soubriquet Wed 28-Dec-16 17:38:36

Keep going

At least for one more day.

Bagina Wed 28-Dec-16 17:47:24

Keep going! You need to give his little head time to figure out what's going on and what he needs to do. It's a big change.

RandomDent Wed 28-Dec-16 18:27:09

Mine pooed on the chair today. smile

guiltypleasureJK Wed 28-Dec-16 18:57:16

I've just done our daughter who was 2 a couple og months ago. Day 1 about 6 accidents, day 2 she had 2 accidents, day 3 and ever since no accidents.
I still went out when she was potty training. Took a potty out with us and this may sound a bit crazy but I would put her in leggings or trousers tucked into wellies in public. This way if she did have an accident when out then it didn't leave a pool on the floor as it ran down her legs and into her wellies.
My major fear was having to mop up puddles in shops but this prevented that, then I would rush her to the loo to change her. She only ever had 2 accidents in public to be honest tho.
This was our third attempt at training and each time before if she hadn't got it by day 3 then I would put her back in nappies for another 4 weeks before trying again.

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