Potty training not working need advice please

[jonnytekno]

Hi all - we have been potty training for a couple of weeks and have had some success but not really working and need some advice.

Son is 3yrs 3 months although a bit behind kids same age in some ways. He is very active, not very patient at all, and not a good listener. He's not autistic or anything (we have checked) - he just gets very into whatever he is doing and it's hard to break his concentration onto something else.

We have tried a few times in the past, first about a year ago but he just point blank refused and got upset, so we left it. The again maybe six months ago by going cold turkey, but in hindsight we didn't have the time to focus on it as had a new baby brother - basically he just had loads of accidents and we gave up.

We started 2 weeks ago - I (dad) took a Monday off work and dedicated myself to the supposed '3 day' method. So cold turkey off nappies and on the potty every 15 mins for first day - I learned a pattern after that that he basically only wees about every 2-3 hours, so I would wait 1.5-2hrs after a wee and then do every half an hour.

He managed to do a poo twice in the potty at the weekend but no wees, so not massively successful from that perspective however it was successful in that before this we hadn't even been able to get him to sit on the potty, whereas now he is happy to do so and even seems to enjoy it a bit.

After that my wife carried on and gradually we've managed to get a couple of days where he has done all wees in the potty.

However, it's pretty clear that this is through us learning his timings and almost catching the wee by getting him on the potty, but he hasn't yet shown any sign of wanting a wee or having any of his own volition to go to the potty, so if we just left him without putting him on the potty he just wets himself and doesn't seem to care, we even leave him wet for 15-30 mins but he isn't bothered. He knows he's wet he just doesn't seem to care.

So the issue is we are not getting him to understand that he needs to go and wanting to go of his own accord.

I think part of the issue is that we have got into the bad habit of letting him watch TV on the potty for 15 mins when we know it is around the time he needs to go, and because he is a bit zoned watching TV he just does it but isn't that aware of the fact that he's done it. He has done it and been very aware a couple of times and been VERY pleased with himself, but when the TV is on he's no aware.

The reason we have done that is because otherwise it is VERY difficult to get him to stay on the potty for any length of time, he just gets up and goes to do something else. Even reading him books only gets a couple of minutes before he's off to do something else. He has not done a single wee in the potty at nursery for the same reason - there is so much distraction and they don't even try and sit with him reading. They can get him to sit on the potty but then he just goes off to do something else.

In terms of incentives/rewards, the times he has done it we have showered praise on him, given him stickers and also actually a chocolate (which is a reward not a bribe). He responds really well to this praise but doesn't seem to then seek it out again.

So really he understands the whole thing, can do it, likes doing it - but he just hasn't got the whole 'I need a wee I'm going to the potty thing', so not sure what to do.

Apologies for the essay - hope someone has been through something similar?

[1Frustrated]

I seem to be in the same boat. We've been potty training for about 4 weeks and if we put him on the potty every hour or so he can be completely dry all day. He just never tells us that he needs to go and if we leave him he will just wet himself. We know he has good bladder control because he is actually dry at night. Wee before bed, get him up to wee again at about 11 and is dry in the morning. I just wish he would make an attempt to go by himself. He's definately physically ready but not so sure about mentally ready. Any advise would be appreciated.