Need to toilet train boy in 6 wks

[Cornwall73]

My twins (literally just turned three) start nursery school in mid September. We have been told that there are no nappy changing facilities and that children have to be out if nappies. DD was dead easy and she woke up one day a few months ago and said 'no nappies'. She was dry in four days and uses toilets and potties easily.

DS is a different kettle of fish. Shows an interest in what his sister is doing but has no urge to copy her. He is comfortable in his nappy and willing to sit in mess all day if it was up to him.

We plan to start a reward chart tomorrow and to just put him in pants. When we have done this before he just pees everywhere and is not even bothered at being wet.

Any ideas?

[fuzzyfozzy]

I was under the impression that settings couldn't refuse children in nappies. I understand they'll prefer toilet trained. Check with your early years department of your council.

[SaltyMyDear]

Have you got a garden? Keep him and a potty out there all day - with no pants on.

[OneArt]

When you did it before, how long did you persevere for? I think some kids take a week or two to get the hang of it. Lots of accidents (and very few successes) for the first few days is very normal.

[Chrisinthemorning]

Just turned 3 is a bit young to be worried, they will have lots still in nappies.
You have a year to get them sorted, they need to be doing ok by school if possible I think.

[Cornwall73]

I'll have another word with nursery on Monday but the staff have said they do not have facilities to change nappies. If children are sent in nappies they call parents to come and change them when needed. I don't want to be called at work every time he has a wet nappy!

I have only done a couple of days here and there with him as there was an accident every time and we could literally go nowhere. With twins you need eyes at the back of your head as they fight for attention constantly so being out and about is the best way to stay sane and keep them occupied.

Problem is that I just don't think he's ready! They currently go to nursery three days a week and the staff there said they would start trying to train him on Monday to help me out. I just don't want him to get stressed out

[CodyKing]

When he's wet lead him upstairs to the bath room and slowly fetch clothes - don't say anything your making this seriously boooring!!! Then slowly wash and change him - every time.

When done just say next time you wee in the potty/toilet ok?

Say nothing else -

It does work! They hate to be removed from the fun.

[Cornwall73]

Today's update: 6 wet accidents 3 poos/wees in potty.
The three successes where just lick as he had sat on the potty for so long playing with his cars that he was bound to produce something. All the others he just looks surprised at me when he wets himself.

Does anyone know if boys wee more than girls? He seems to be having accidents almost every hour!

[Cornwall73]

I meant luck not lick!

And I have emailed the early years team at our Council to ask if there is a blanket policy about toilet training. He will literally be the youngest of his year when they start. At the open day all the other kids seemed so much older. He still has an afternoon nap and hits the bed exhausted at 7pm!

[Jayne266]

Hi OP I think it's possible just be happy and confident in what you are doing. I got my ds out of nappies within a week at age 2 and dry at night at age 3.
I spent a lot of time before starting the potty training getting the potty familiar with him but I think the nursery I used was really useful because of him watching the other children. Good luck and don't worry it will just be sorted quicker than you think.

[Lindtnotlint]

It wasn't obvious to me before I trained DD that they pee very frequently indeed when in nappies, and once they start training they start peeing less frequently. So don't panic just because he pees every hour! We saw a quick and dramatic reduction in frequency once the potty was being used. For us it took about four despairing days of horror with constant accidents after we removed daytime nappies then maybe another week with the odd accident. Then great from there! I remember very nearly giving up...

[gamerwidow]

You can try but ime it is nigh on impossible to potty train a child who isn't ready. It is too late to find another care setting? It feels wrong that they are insisting on this .

[sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Boys are different - they have to push the wee out and generally pee again very soon after the first one! Almost like they empty half and wait for a refill!! TMI?

So watch and see if there's a time limit on one then the other!

[Cornwall73]

I am learning a lot about male anatomy here. You are right, he doesn't seem to empty his bladder, 5-10mins later there is more!

A total of seven changes of shorts and pants today. Most accidents outside or in the kitchen but the last one before bed was in the armchair so off I go to wash it. Something tells me it won't be the last time.....

[OneArt]

Hang in there OP! It will be better in a few days!

[Msqueen33]

Oh god how stressful. I didn't think places could insist? My dd is three and non verbal (she has autism) and one day decided she didn't want to wear a nappy and that was it. I don't think you can force it but it really does sound like you're doing all the right things.

[dementedpixie]

They cannot exclude for him not being toilet trained and they shouldn't be calling to change him either. I will look for the regulations (used to be disability discrimination but think it's equality act now)

[hazeyjane]

A setting can't refuse a child for being in nappies.

All that is needed for nappy changes is a changing mat and somewhere to dispose of nappies. They can change him in the toilet area. What do they do if a child has an accident - they must be able to clean them up?

[dementedpixie]

www.eric.org.uk/Schools/Toilet_Training

[Cornwall73]

Thank you, I'll have a good read but he is not toilet trained out of not being ready not due to a disability. I plan to talk to our nursery manager on Monday to see what the overall policy for nursery school is (it's part of a large school complex) and press her more on the issue and see if I can talk to the head of the nursery school before they start back in Sept.

[dementedpixie]

From that link:

A delay in achieving continence can be considered a disability. It is therefore not acceptable to refuse admission to school to children who are not yet toilet trained

[Doilooklikeatourist]

I'm an older mum and my son is 21
( disclaimer )
He was toilet trained by 2 and a half and has no issues with toilet issues
Use bribery
Do a wee wee and you can have a chocolate button
Do a wee wee and you van have a smartie
Try this every 30 minutes
Works like a dream
Do not use pull ups

[ToDuk]

I taught nursery for a while in a school nursery and we were told very definitely by the authority that we couldn't insist on children being dry. We also had to be prepared to change nappies. It is a disability access issue, even of for your child it is more to do with age. Stand your ground. I hope you hear from the EY person on Monday.

[Littlefish]

I'm a nursery teacher. It is not legal for nurseries to have a blanket ban on children attending in nappies. It is also not legal for them the demand that parents come in to change their child.

I work with. 2, 3, 4 and 5 year olds and have had children of all those ages in nappies/pull-ups.

[tryhard]

I'm in the same boat OP, DD2's pre-school states very clearly on her acceptance letter that children must be out of nappies/pull ups. She's just over 2.5 & wants to be out of nappies like her big sister but we're into week 2 & as long as I put her on the potty/loo every hour, she's fine, but poos in her knickers & still wets herself occasionally, it's like she hasn't learned what the warning feelings of needing a wee or poo are, it's like it takes her by surprise when she wets herself. Very stressful (for me because of the pressure from pre-school, not for her cos I'm being super-positive with her!). I too am thinking of giving up, it's very disheartening!

[Littlefish]

tryhard - please speak to your local authority early years team and send them a copy of the paperwork from the pre-school. It is simply not legal to have a blanket ban on pull-ups/nappies.