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Did I do the right thing

(29 Posts)
purpleme12 Tue 19-Jul-16 17:04:49

We've been talking about knickers and using toilet/potty etc with my toddler who will be three in October. Today when I asked her if she wanted to wear knickers not nappy she said knickers (she's never said this before). So I put her in knickers. (She knows what Potty's for and goes on it happily just not all throughout day and not when she needs to). Not long after she weed and pooed in her knickers while watching tele and told me after. Bit later I said if she goes in potty she can have a chocolate thismotivated her and she went straight away. Bit later she'd weed a bit in her costume. We took it off and she went for a wee in her potty. Later when we were out in pushchair I asked her if she needed a wee and she managed to go at side of road in potty which was really good. Then later in pushchair she's weed herself again. Got home watched tele and she poooed knickers again so bad I threw them out and she only told me after. I asked her if she wanted to wear knickers or nappy then she said nappy so I've put it back on her. Did i do the right thing? Is she not ready? Any thoughts?

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TooMinty Tue 19-Jul-16 17:13:36

I don't think there's any point in forcing her to wear knickers if she doesn't want to - she isn't even 3 yet, you can leave it a couple of months then try again.

How did you react to the accidents? It's difficult, but I find the best thing to do is say "oh dear, well maybe next time you can get it in the potty/toilet" then change/clean up and carry on with your day.

When we potty trained DS1 he got through 7 pairs of trousers on the first day. The next day he just had 2 accidents. Then the day after he was dry. He was just over 3 at the time. Don't expect too much from the first day - you were adventurous leaving the house, we just stayed in!

purpleme12 Tue 19-Jul-16 17:22:10

I just said oh dear we need to tell mummy when you need a wee or a poo and do it in the potty or toilet, not in a telling off way at all in a nice way.

I didn't force her either that's why I asked her if she wanted kickers or nappy. Maybe she isn't ready

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Bottomchops Tue 19-Jul-16 17:28:38

I think you should have courage and carry on with the training. Ime dc needed a big push to be fully trained. They're quite lazy sometimes and can be creatures of habit. I would make the most of the summer and carry on. Give it 3 weeks and see where you are, I'd no joy then stop for 2 weeks and try again.

TooMinty Tue 19-Jul-16 17:43:25

Sounds like you handled it fine smile

If you're not in a rush to potty train then you could leave a bit then ask her again. If you want to go ahead then just say tomorrow "you did really well yesterday doing a wee in the potty, let's put your knickers on again today and see if you can do more/all of them in the potty today"

purpleme12 Tue 19-Jul-16 19:58:41

Thank you for the advice. But undecided what to do now lol

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Veterinari Tue 19-Jul-16 20:02:28

I think if you're waiting for your DD to make all the decisions she'll be in a nappy for years! She did well. It's worth continuing with knickers

purpleme12 Tue 19-Jul-16 20:39:58

Thank you this has given me stuff to think about. I still think it might be worth letting her make decisions about this though - to a certain extent ( knowing her personality I mean and what she's like and how she reacts to stuff she doesn't want to do and I want her to do it). I think she is getting more motivated towards it anyway because she wants to be a 'big girl' now and also her friends at nursery are in knickers too.

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purpleme12 Wed 20-Jul-16 11:55:27

Right so here we are trying knickers again...again she wanted to. I managed to get her to go in potty in morning after I took her nappy off - she said no but I managed to get her to do it. We went out for a little walk round the block cos she wanted to (only very short) I told her to tell me still and we'll just do it on the ground. She did wee in her knickers on the walk. When we got back I managed to get her to go in potty again - she said no when I asked her but I persuaded her. And later same again on toilet. Then later when she was playing by herself she did tell me she needed a wee and went on potty! No poos yet today

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purpleme12 Wed 20-Jul-16 11:57:03

The last time when she did tell me.... i'd told her to go on potty not long before but she refused. Then she told me when she needed to go. It's really hard if she doesn't want to go herself to make her have a go.

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Bottomchops Wed 20-Jul-16 12:06:56

She's still figuring it out in her little head. I think they have to get used to having wet pants and trying to decide if they need to go. Keep going.

Itsaplayonwords Wed 20-Jul-16 12:15:50

Where have you got the potty? When we were potty training a few weeks ago we had it in the living room and every now and again she'd just go over and sit on it. I think having it there put the idea in her head, it was like a little reminder. Also, does she like her knickers? Did she choose them? Are you rewarding her at all for wees in the potty? We got through A LOT of stickers. Her teddies also did some wees on the potty and got a sticker for their trouble!

OneArt Wed 20-Jul-16 12:18:59

You're only on day 2 - lots of accidents is normal. She sounds like she's doing fine.

purpleme12 Wed 20-Jul-16 12:25:09

Thanks everyone! Puts my mind at ease a bit!

We have potty in whatever room she's in. Chocolate for using potty or toilet - don't have any stickers in and she's been hit and miss on stickers as motivation before. She didn't choose her knickers but yes she likes them as they're peppa pig. She's got nursery on Friday

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purpleme12 Wed 20-Jul-16 12:54:25

She's just told me she wants nappy and gone to get nappy!!

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purpleme12 Wed 20-Jul-16 13:01:38

I persuaded her to be in knickers still and then 2 minutes later she told me she needed a poo and went for a poo and a wee in the potty!

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Itsaplayonwords Wed 20-Jul-16 13:02:57

Well done her! Obviously in her head she needs a nappy to do a poo but now that she's done it in the potty hopefully she'll realise that's not the case.

purpleme12 Wed 20-Jul-16 13:23:29

She has done a poo in her potty quite a few times before so not sure why but maybe this time she did think she needed a nappy for it I don't know

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TooMinty Wed 20-Jul-16 17:16:49

Sounds like you are well on the way!

Itsaplayonwords Wed 20-Jul-16 19:24:24

How's the rest of the day been purple?

cuntinghomicidalcardigan Wed 20-Jul-16 19:31:14

Are you asking her to go on the potty before you leave the house? When I first trained dd we built it into our leaving routine, so 'right dd, we're going out in 5 minutes, upstairs for a wee then we'll put shoes on'. We never put shoes on until she'd at least had a try, even if she'd gone not long before. Also, before meals/snack 'upstairs for a wee and hands washed'..

I found making certain points when she always had to go helped her get quickly into a routine. Tons of praise and we got some special glow in the dark stickers which she saved through the day (one for every wee and poo on the potty) and then got to stick on the ceiling with daddy when he came home. This meant she got to tell daddy how well she was doing and he got to praise and be involved too. Lots of big drinks then sitting on the potty 20 mins or so later.

She sounds like she's doing well, maybe just try and build in a bit of a routine for a few days til she gets the hang of it?

purpleme12 Wed 20-Jul-16 19:54:30

Thank you for asking. Since last post I think she weed in potty once which was good. Then later in garden weed in her knickers but I'd popped inside, literally for seconds but don't know if that had anything to do with it. She told me and I said let's go on potty and she managed another wee in potty. Then straight after tea she told me she needed potty and went for wee and poo which was really good. At bath time she went for wee in potty ( but she did this at bathtime before anyway).
So that's good right?

I keep saying to her but she does just refuse to go on potty unless she wants to/thinks she needs to. But I think she's getting the idea isn't she?

I would have gone out tomorrow but don't know now

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Bottomchops Wed 20-Jul-16 20:15:12

That's good. Just take the potty in a bag and lots of clothes.

Itsaplayonwords Wed 20-Jul-16 20:58:59

It sounds like she's doing really well. We take the potty out with us and let her know it's there if she needs it.

WellyMummy Wed 20-Jul-16 21:54:41

We tried when a friend did as she brought her potty around and DD1 was very interested, it was too early.
Before we trained successfully we had months of coming into the loo with Mummy and talking about the process, taking down trousers right through to flushing and hand washing.
For DD1 the knickers, princess ones, were a huge motivation. She got to choose the first pair of the day and then had to keep (eg) Cinderella dry. If she had an accident I got to choose the clean pair, I always chose plain ones! To begin with just Knicks on bottom half and potty ,over with us, lots to drink and trying every 20-30 minutes, huge fuss of every success. Accidents were dealt with calmly, no fuss.
DD2 was more aware and a very different character, so we didn't need the motivation of only choosing the first pair of the day.
Hope something in this is useful. It's tricky and stressful, be kind to both of you! Good luck.

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