Help!!! Should I stop the potty training

[Orchidbrum]

So, I started my 2 and a half year old DS potty training 4 days ago and I've got a strong feeling I've started him to early.
To give some background information my DS speech isn't best. I've raised concerns on a number of occasions to both the health visitor and his nursery but neither are concerned about it at all. They said he is acting in a totally neuro typical way, understands emotions, his environment, how to interact with others etc etc and that his comprehension is really good which often in boys comes before speech. My DD spoke from a very early age.
Anyway, I was umming and aahing about when to potty train him. He does term time only at nursery and I thought if i could train him in the last month of nursery before the holidays this would really help him (seeing the other kids go to the toilet etc would encourage him) plus, if I leave it till he's back in September my daughter will be starting school and didn't want anything to distract from me settling her into her new environment. So then I thought that would mean I'd need to start in October and he's 3 in Novemeber.
Anyway, he doesn't seem to be clicking that he needs the toilet and I feel like I can't speak to him about it beacause of his limited speech.
So my question is do I quit and wait till October, or do I persevere so as not to confuse him?
I also must admit that I've made such a hoo ha telling my family and friends that I've started potty training that I'd be embarrassed to tell them I've stopped it.

[Kingofthestupids]

Sounds like my DS. We put him back in nappies and tried again when he was 3yrs and 3 months and he got it straight away.

[Mishaps]

Every child is ready at different times, so no panic - he won't be in nappies when he is taking his GCSEs! Maybe you should backpedal on it a bit for now and perhaps take every opportunity to let him go bare on warm days when he is outside. He will then see better what is going on when he wees and poos and perhaps find it easier to make the connection between the sensation and the production. Certainly do not let it worry you or he will pick up on that instantly. He will get there in his own time. Boys do tend to get there a bit slower than girls.

Don't be embarrassed with others - tell them you have judged that he is not quite ready - it is no disgrace for him or you. You are being a good mother and responding to his needs.

[Orchidbrum]

Kingofstupids thanks for this prompt reply. Did he resist the second time beacause he went back in nappies the first time? My DS thankfully doesn't have a stubborn streak so I imagine he would be fine but I'm worried about it.

[HoggleHoggle]

Your ds also sounds like mine. I gave potty training a whirl when he was 2.4. He was ok actually but took against it for some reason within a day, so I totally dropped it. He's now 2.6 and I'm planning to try again next month. Not sure he'll get it then either but my plan is to try relaxed, no pressure training every few months.

I personally think it's better to stop if he's not getting it than carry on trying and potentially making him upset/cross about it.

[Orchidbrum]

Mishaps I could cry at your kind words. What great advice!!! I think the relaxed softly softly approach approach over the summer is a great idea.
I like that line that I've judged that's he's not quite ready.
Funny thing is, all this advice that I'm getting is what Id tell other people but I can't seem to see it when it comes to myself!! I think I constantly second guess myself.
I'll speak to the hubby also and see what he says.

[Ratbagcatbag]

We tried dd (who incidentally had excellent speech) at 2.5, despite her showing she was ready it was a nightmare. Gave up after five days, tried 3 months later and she got it straight away. If anyone asked I simply said she wasn't ready. There is no point persevering if he's just not ready, you'll end up in a spiral of getting stressed and your ds the same. Give it a few months and try again. We worked out that although most people recommended trying in summer for ease which is what we did, as dd was outside playing she just wouldn't come in for the toilet. When we tried three months later it was October time and she wasn't outside as much so was easier to manage. Good luck.

[Orchidbrum]

Hoggle how is your sons speech? I've decided that them being able to tell you in a conversation surely makes it easier? My DD was saying words from 10 months (I have an old video to prove it) and my sister has a video of her having a full conversation at 17 months so it was easy with her as we had full length discussions on the topic when she was training 😂

[Orchidbrum]

Ratbag thanks for this info!! And I'm so glad to hear that it is manageable in October. Actually, now I think of it it makes more sense to do it when he's a bit older and our DD is settled in school, as then I'll have help from the nursery on the 3 days he's in and the other 2 days I'll just have DS as DD will be at school so I can give him my full attention.

[HoggleHoggle]

Orchid ds's speech isn't overly good...we're actually going down the SALT assessment route. To be honest though I don't think it was a case of ds not understanding (his comprehension is v good) but more for whatever reason he didn't want to do it.

[Orchidbrum]

Hoogle what's a salt assessment unit? I think I'm gonna push for my DS to be seen by a Proffesional re his speech but have no idea how to go about it.

[HoggleHoggle]

It's Speech And Language Therapy. There should be drop in clinics in your area (NHS), you go and get a very brief assessment, then they will refer you (or not) for a proper appointment with a therapist who will evaluate what's going on/needed. From there they will recommend no action or further therapy etc. If you check what's on at your local children's clinic or call the HV team then they should be able to let you know when/where the next drop in is.

A warning though - ds's appointment with the therapist was pretty rubbish so I've just arranged another evaluation with an independent therapist. I think it can be hit and miss depending on area.

Good luck!