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any advice on starting training with a not interested 3 year old.

(11 Posts)
HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 13:54:22

Hi, I'm looking for a bit of advice.

My ds turned 3 last week. He's never really shown an interest in toilet training.
Recently I've started sitting him on the toilet before getting in the bath. If he needs to go whilst in the bath he will ask and sit in the toilet to do a wee.

If he sees a friend at toddler group go, he will also want to.

I decided to put him in pull ups today. (I'm not brave enough yet to go straight to pants!)
I've shown him his they pull down and up and been asking him if he needs to go. He keeps saying no. I'm pretty sure he's weed in the pull up.

Should I keep trying or waiting a while?
I'm contemplating putting him in pants with the hope the feeling of being wet will deter him but being 8 months pregnant and being really achy I'm not liking the idea of cleaning up wet patches!

TooMinty Sat 26-Mar-16 14:09:36

Do you have to train now? I'd wait until the new baby is a few months old and you can cope with mopping up accidents easier! I did straight into proper pants, the first day he had 7 accidents, the next day just 2, then mostly dry since then (with occasional slight relapses). Still use pull-ups at night.

HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 16:18:43

Thank you. No reason for doing it now just that he asks when he's in the bath!
Also, wasnt keen on trying to do it when I've got a newborn too!
I might leave it until the weather is warmer and put him in pants. Ideally I wanted him trained before he starts nursery in August.

onedogatoddlerandababy Sat 26-Mar-16 17:33:29

No, I say wait if he has no interest. You'll end up becoming frustrated with him not getting it (if you're anything like me), plus there is a huge chance he will regress when the baby arrives.

Just too stressful all round!

DD1 we tried with at 3.2 yrs, she was ok ish after a couple of weeks (but frequent damp pants) but then just started wetting herself - once on the sofa when I officially called it a day before I lost my temper. Tried again after about 6 weeks in pull ups (at 3.6 yrs) and she was dry and taking herself to the potty within 3 days.

Oddly she was totally potty trained for poo from the 3.2 yrs but the wee took longer.

onedogatoddlerandababy Sat 26-Mar-16 17:35:59

Actually, she was pretty good after the first couple of weeks, but we would get damp pants after 3 or 4 days of being dry. Stayed like that for perhaps a couple of months but then regressed.
Plus it all became DP telling her 'it's a good idea to try for a wee before we go out and when we come in' rather than her actual deciding for herself that she needed to go - not the point imo smile

calamityjam Sat 26-Mar-16 17:45:30

All 4 of mine were trained by 2 1/2. I had to if they wanted to go to play group they had to be out of nappies. I and they wanted to go, so I chose a week off work and chucked the nappies away. I bought lots of cheap pants and easy to pull down trousers. Day one, no clothes on bottom half and stayed mostly in one room with potty. Day 2 no clothes on bottom half and potty moved to downstairs loo. Day 3 pants on and potty in downstairs loo. Day 4/5/6 similar with occasional walks for 30 mins to the park with potty before and after. By day 7 all clothes on and potty either upstairs or downstairs. This did seem to work for us but as I said there was an incentive back then. Nowadays nurseries cannot refuse entry due to nappy wearing, so the only thing I would say would be to limit pull ups for bedtime as they feel like nappies so why wouldn't they wee in them?

HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 18:44:44

Thanks for the advice. I kinda wish he'd sit on the potty and I could have it in the room but he won't. Just the toilet and he needs help getting on.

Maybe I'll leave it until the summer.

TooMinty Sat 26-Mar-16 20:52:09

Buy a little step to help him get up to the toilet - got ours from IKEA I think. And Amazon have cheap toilet seats too. But still wait til he's ready!

Superwormissuperstrong Sat 26-Mar-16 21:07:07

I would wait till he shows more interest and then it might be easier. But I'd try to get him interested - we had the pirate pete potty book and it became a favourite book to read. We would also make it very clear when we were going for a wee or a poo as adults so he understood its something we all do and that its only 'babies' that use nappies. Best thing though I think was spending time with children that are already potty trained.
With hindsight I think we pushed it too early - but it did give us a useful conversation about how using the potty/toilet is actually much quicker than going in pants - which are wet and uncomfortable (we didn't hurry but had to finish what we were doing before we could start the clean up) and the time it took to strip them off, clean and dry and then get new clothes. Our son hated that all this faff took him away from playing when actually he could play or read sat on the potty.
I feel for you though - we are only a week the other side of it finally working so its still on my mind!

HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 21:32:07

We've got a little step but I've got one of those child sizes character seats to sit on the toilet, if he tries to climb on the child seat slides about!
I've seen a seat on Amazon that's got the child seat attached to the adult one and just flips down on top.

Ds was quite proud to show his daddy he had a pull up on when he got home from work!

I tell ds when I'm going to the loo already, mainly so he leaves me alone for 2 minutes! I was asking him today, I'm going to the toilet, do you need the toilet?

SerenityReynolds Sun 27-Mar-16 08:13:26

We're currently trying to train DD (3.2). Had about 8 wee accidents (though some were tiny) day 1 and day 2. She now notices that she's had a wee, but still gives no sign that a) she needs one or b) she knows she needs one sad And she will not do a proper poo on the potty. Putting her on the potty every 30-45 minutes, but there are still accidents.

I've heard day 3 or 4 are often a turning point so have everything crossed as am losing the will to live! Please someone tell me it gets better! I would second maybe leaving it until after baby is born OP as all my friend's LO's regressed when siblings arrive. I understand feeling like you need to get it done though - DD is the only one of her friends still in nappies sad

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