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Late Starters

(13 Posts)
CantWaitForWarmWeather Mon 21-Mar-16 18:44:13

DS2 has just turned 3 and he still doesn't want to know regarding the potty/toilet. Not interested at all. I've figured I should leave it for now. Should I?
Has anyone else's children been late starters when it comes to potty training? If so, how old were they?

DS has a speech and language delay so I guess that is working against him a bit.

I will be so happy when this is out of the way. I didn't enjoy potty training DS1 and that was without the speech and language delay.

Shall I wait a bit longer until he understands a bit better? Has anyone else potty trained a child with a speech and language delay?

MummyBtothree Thu 24-Mar-16 11:20:57

Im going through exactly the same. My DS is 3yr 9 months now with overall development delay (inc. speech & language) and although ive got two other sons (who are now teenagers) they seemed to be a breeze to get out of nappies but im really struggling this time. Im determined to have another go over the easter hols.

GrowAndRun Thu 24-Mar-16 11:28:56

DS is 3yr5mth. No success so far (no other developmental delays). Watching for tips, although feel like we've tried everything!!

Florin Thu 24-Mar-16 15:36:59

My ds is 3 years 9 months. He has a small language delay but speaks in full sentences and understands. We have tried everything but I just don't think he is interested. We have tried everything he understands what he is meant to do and where wees and poos go and he has even had small friends over and showered them with praise when they go. We have tried bribing but that seems to distract as he gets so wound up about the prize he want to hold it before he has done anything then he gets upset if he can't have it. Up to now he has insisted he didn't want pants he just wants nappies. Last night I took all the nappies out of his room leaving the empty packet. When he woke up I said let's change you then oh no we have run out of nappies what shall we do and we agreed for him to wear pants and do his wees and poos on the loo which he was happy with that which is unusual. However he has made no attempt to go to the loo or tell me. I ask him if he needs to go and he says no. We have tried making him try and have a wee but he won't have it so unless we literally pin him on it he won't even sit on it and then he won't do anything anyway and that is never going to encourage him. Today I have been really calm and easy going about it and also trying not to change him quite so quickly to get him to tell me he is wet and so he feels that it isn't nice (when he asks I change him straight away). He just doesn't care sometimes he does tell me in a panic and sometimes he doesn't for quite a while however this is at home. If we go out it is incredibly rare he has an accident even up to 5 hours and once he even went on a public loo although normally prefers to wait until he is home so he can do it. He just can't be arsed at home or nursery (I guess the 2 places he feels comfortable). We have a few attempts one lasting a month where he seemed to get worse rather than better by the end. He goes to school in September and I am pulling my hair out over it even though I am very calm infront of him.

jellybean321 Fri 25-Mar-16 18:28:13

I have just started another thread about my son. He is 3 years 2 months and also has no interest in the potty/toilet. He also has speech and language delay and overall development delay so I did wonder if this would be part of the cause but cant seem to get any answers from the professionals. No advise but glas to know im not alone.

Bungleboggs Fri 25-Mar-16 18:41:27

Just wanted to offer you all some hope, my twins were 3.6 when I finally had enough of pull ups and weeing on carpets. One day (in the summer) I hid all pull ups and nappies, put them in pants and stayed home for a week with potties out and the toilet accessible! It was very hard work but by day 5 we had it completely cracked and never looked back. I had very lazy boys I think. You will get there, I remember sleepless night thinking they would start reception in nappies.

OvO Fri 25-Mar-16 18:56:01

My DS's were 3y 5m and 3y 11m when they potty trained!

They were just lazy. grin

The bonus of starting late is they get it much faster. Both mine put pants on one day and that was it - no accidents, no pull-ups, no bed wetting!

In your situation I'd wait a bit longer - I know it feels like every other child is trained and people will talk about 18m olds that are fully trained (!) but try not to worry. It doesn't go on their CV so who cares if they're 2 or 4 when they get the hang of it!
Good luck!

HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 13:57:49

I've just asked pretty much the same question.

My ds has just turned 3 but was premature so shouldn't be 3 until May.

He also has a speech delay, however will ask to go to the toilet when in the bath by holding himself and saying help.

Other than when in the bath he won't go

Florin Tue 29-Mar-16 13:31:00

After saying how badly it was going on Thursday just after I posted that he has turned a corner. He is now doing his wees in the loo! I am the proudest Mummy ever! No poos yet but it is still early days. The weekend wasn't stressful either and we have had plenty of trips out including going out for lunch with no accidents. I am putting him in pulls ups over night which he seems fine about. I will tackle night time training in the future. I am just so happy he is in pants in the day now. Tomorrow is first day back at nursery so see how that goes but I am so so happy he seems to be getting it and wanting to do it.

Vilio Tue 29-Mar-16 13:35:38

Sounds like you've turned a corner! I don't think speech plays a huge part in it. My ds can barely string two or three words together and he has cracked toilet training. He says "wee wee wee wee" when he needs to go (whether its wees or poops) or else grabs his bum!

MummySparkle Tue 29-Mar-16 14:30:48

My DS is 3 and 2 months. He get the idea of going in the potty, but only if he is naked from the waist down. If he's wearing pants / trousers then he will get soggy. How to you deal with leaving the house? I want to potty train him because I think he would get it, but leaving the house seems too much and we just can't stay in for a whole week (I'd go mad!)

Florin Tue 29-Mar-16 16:06:05

I agree speech has little to do with it. We blamed it on his speech but it was actually him being incredibly lazy and not seeing the point. We motivated him with a star chart when he fills it up he gets a reasonable size toy he wants. However he is not so worried about the stars now, he seems to be doing it out of habit. Planning on downgrading the toys to smaller and smaller things and then giving prizes for just poos which we are yet to crack although he has tried to do a poo on the loo so I think he does want to do it but I guess it is quite a different sensation so may take a while.
Mummysparkle we had the opposite problem. Our son hates being naked so we had to train him from the start wearing pants and trousers so it can be a frantic rush to get them off. However going out has actually been easy as for months he could hold it if we were out for hours so finding a loo hasn't been such an issue. Maybe try taking him somewhere it wouldn't matter and see what happens? Nice walk in the country. We also have special absorbant pants they are Cotton and still make them feel wet and need changing instantly but it stops any major floods which built our confidence when out. We buy them individually from Ocado but it is these ones www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/5036794/searchTerm/Bambino+mio.htm At home he wears normal pants as I want him to get the proper sensation of being wet. I also when out dress him in dark coloured reasonably thick trousers incase!

MummyBtothree Thu 31-Mar-16 13:03:40

Florin - I never knew that those sort of pants were available - thats great. Well im on day one of just basically making the switch from nappies to pants and braving it for a few days, see how it goes. Had no mishaps this morning but DS did the biggest wee in his nappy when I put him down for a lunctime nap. Gonna persevere with pants this arvo & potty. Think im gonna scream with joy to see something in that potty!. Really working myself up about him starting school in september but seems im not on my own.

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