Where to start!!! boy aged 3(15 Posts)
I am struggling where to start with potty training. My son has just turned three and has no interest in using the potty or toilet. He has never told us if he is weeing or pooing and when I ask and know he has he stills says no he hasn't. I am worried as he is getting older now. He is on movical which not to be to graffic but causes very soft poo and lots of it! Im not sure how to manage it. We have used the Pirate Pete book for a while to explain and keep trying to put him on the potty but he just cries for his nappy back on. I have bought a toddler toilet seat, portable potty, pants and stickers to try again ...any advise would be great. When we first start is it best to stay around the house as im trying to work out how to deal with it if we are in a park, car etc...how do I go about it. Thanks
I've just trained my nearly 3 year old. We started with bribes for just trying, and we found sweets best...'try and have a wee wee and you can have a sweet'. Massive praise as well if actual wee wee. Then sweet if wee wee was produced. Then once wee was almost there we worked on poo. We stayed at home for a couple of days and then used pull ups if we went out, we still told him to tell us if he wanted to go, but it saved some mess. He had one accident out and now tells us so we've ditched the pull ups.
I just found massive bribes to get started then withdraw (so he now only gets a sweet for a poo, generally a once a day affair, and I will swop for stickers shortly and then drop).
If he likes to keep his nappy on, have you tried having him sit on the potty wearing his nappy? DS didn't use the potty until 3, and he started out by pooing whilst wearing a nappy, sat on the potty. After doing that for a while, and feeling comfortable with the potty, he moved on to having the nappy removed.
Having a large, comfy potty probably helped him feel happy sitting on it - he had the big Baby Bjorn one, which is more like a chair. We did potty training very, very slowly. It did take a while, but it was no great inconvenience, and we didn't want him to feel hurried.
My ds was similar. He showed no interest in the potty. We went cold turkey on nappies, I just told him there were no nappies left and showed him the baby on the nappies (it helped that we were having a baby). For about four days he weed and pood in his pants. I was ready to quit to be honest,but we stuck with it. He got the hang of wees very quickly and within 2 weeks was totally dry. With poo he wasn't so good and for a while he held it and made himself very constipated but with lactulose this has now resolved. Stick with it, you won't know until you try but I would recommend the total no nappies approach even if you're going out and accept that there will be lots of accidents. We bought night time spider man pull ups to avoid using nappies at night. Good luck!
He is already 3. Sending him to nursery or school in a nappy, unless he has a medical reason for incontinence, is not the most desirable of situations. Waiting until they are ready is fine up to a point, but beyond a childs third birthday you need to put the hard work in to potty train them.
We tried to potty train my DS at 3 but it was a disaster. He couldn't seem to tell when he needed to go and would get very distressed when he had an accident.
We tried again at 3 years 3 months and he got it straight away and we haven't looked back.
We did give him rewards for using the potty for the first week, one smartie for a wee and two for a poo. We took the potty in the car with us when we went out but found he was happy to use toilets anywhere else but at home.
Oh and we used plastic dinosaurs from the pound shop (they come in big tubs for party bags) as a reward. Eventually he would forget to ask for them and they
became extinct phased out.
From what you describe, he is just not ready. And pushing the issue now will only prolong and over complicate the process. Leave the potty available in the bathroom, read the book to him every so often, and let him see you (and your dp?) using the bathroom. Give him time to be ready and when that happens the potty training will be quick and easy (and more confidence-inspiring for him).
Thanks for all your comments. I will use lots of bribes and try going cold turkey!! Can I ask if we are going into the town centre and he needs to go but a toilet isn't immediate....what do we do?!!!!
don't wait for him to be desperate, have a potty in the car boot and get him to try and go before you leave the car. When in town, make a mental note of where the nicer toilets are (cafes etc) and call in and get him to try as you are passing them. Failing that, keep a few pairs of clean trousers with you (joggers are particularly absorbent) and watch out for the wiggle dance they do when a wee is imminent
He doesn't sound all that ready. Doesn't seem to know when he's going etc.
why is he on Movicol? What medical advice have you had?
He has been on movical since 1 year old as without it has very bad constipation. At three I just thought we must try t potty train if we can.
Unfortunately sometimes no matter how many times you ask they will still need a wee when you're miles from the loo. We also focussed on giving ds a big drink well in advance of us going out, eg. 2 hours , so that he then did his wee before we left. We gave stickers for trying and dinosaurs for doing, as he was reluctant to try sometimes. Unfortunately, you might have lots of wet pants, we used soft jersey trousers and biggest pants than his actual size so they were quick to get off. I don't think he's ever weed out of the house except a few times when he started nursery. Another tip would be to get some cheap trainers that can be machine washed, or at least wont be ruined if you wash them because if wee gets in expensive leather shoes they're ruined. And pet spray deodouriser for your carpets. I'm making this sound bad, but in reality it was just a few instances!
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