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Have I given up too soon?

(17 Posts)
Helen2407 Mon 16-Nov-15 07:35:25

We started potty training our 2.5 year old one week ago. Generally I think he's done really well and with his wees, most of the time he goes to the potty successfully. However, he went from doing about 3 poos a day to only one and at times seemed a bit apprehensive to do it on the potty. On a couple of occasions he pooed himself rather than sit on the potty.

Whilst I don't mind the accidents so much, when he did poo himself he would get rally upset when I then tried to clean him up and this morning when it happened I decided to put him back in nappies as didn't want him upset anymore.

If I wasnt pregnant with my second (due in march) I know I wouldn't have attempted training till he was nearer to 3 but wanted t try and get it out the way before baby comes.

Now I don't know if I've made the right decision as this afternoon when he was wearing a nappy he was telling me he needed a wee and poo and I had to keep explaining to him that he had a nappy on now (feel so guilty about confusing him). and this evening just before his bath he ran to the potty and did a wee.

I feel so guilty about it all and don't know what to do for the best sad

dementedpixie Mon 16-Nov-15 07:37:40

Can you not have a pull up on but let him go to the toilet when he asks. That's how I trained ds. Pull up is easier to get up and down but contains accidents too

dementedpixie Mon 16-Nov-15 07:38:36

I wouldn't stop now especially as he seems to want to use the potty/toilet

KittyandTeal Mon 16-Nov-15 07:40:20

Why not try him in pull ups for a bit, that way you can encourage him to use the potty but if he doesn't make it then it's no big deal at all.

We tried dd1 when she was about that age and she had no clue. We've just tried again at 3 and it took a day of accidents then pretty much all successes. I've been surprised how easy it was. I would rob ably have been do-able with a baby too

Helen2407 Mon 16-Nov-15 08:34:24

Will it be confusing going back to potty training after having him in nappies all day yesterday?

I might try pull ups then and see what happens

Is it normal for them to say they need the potty continually on some days but then sit on the potty and do nothing? That was the bit I found confusing as to wether it meant he was ready or not?

CatWithKittens Mon 16-Nov-15 10:07:52

Alternatively trainer pants - terry in a plastic outer - are much less like a nappy, especially if you have been using disposables, are a good half way house between nappies and (relative hmm reliability. They do stop clothes getting dirty or wet in an accident yet the child is aware of what has happened, unlike anything too absorbent. I would not have been without these for this stage and then for going out or long journeys wher eit might be difficult to stop on command! HTH

folieadeux Tue 17-Nov-15 08:44:41

Having put off starting with ds because I was pregnant, I am now trying to train a 2.10 year old and have a 5 month old dd and wish is done it when I was pregnant! I thought I didn't have the energy then but boy is it tough now. I would carry on if you possibly can. Just start a fresh and say 'right we're doing nappy off time so here's your potty' etc

Issie339 Tue 17-Nov-15 08:52:20

Hi helen you sound exactly the same as me, I've been potty training DD 2.5 for a week and a half now and baby no2 due in March.

I'm certainly no expert but everything you say is exactly what DD is doing- very anxious of poos, holding them in and then accidents in pants and getting upset, doing well with wees but still some accidents and frequently asking to go to the loo and then not doing anything.

I've been using pull-ups when we go out and she doesn't seem to be confused at all, I just treat them like pants and take her to the loo when she asks so I'd definitely recommend pull-ups. It makes me a lot less anxious too which in turn makes her less anxious about the whole thing.

From talking to friends I think the poo anxiety is very common and can take longer than getting the weeing cracked so I'm definitely persevering.

For DD I think the sitting on the loo and not doing anything is because there is still that novelty value and I'm hoping it'll wear off...also I've been giving her chocolate buttons when she goes on the potty/loo which I'm sure has something to do with the false alarms too!!

pretend Tue 17-Nov-15 09:06:21

Use a pull up.

The exact same thing happened here. DD did well at first with wees but poos were a disaster. Every single one for about 2 weeks was in the trousers and eventually I was getting stressed and she was getting upset.

We gave ourselves a break for a couple of days and went back to nappies, then I decided to try pull ups. For about the next 2 weeks she wore a pull up but went to the loo as if she was wearing knickers, then once she had pooed in the pull up I put knickers on for the rest of the day.

Now I am tentatively leaving off the pull up as we've had a few poos go in the right place.

Do whatever you need to to save your sanity. It will happen eventually and there's no right or wrong way. Take it slowly if you need to.

Helen2407 Tue 17-Nov-15 09:38:43

thanks everyone- that's really helped to know that other people have gone through the same thing

We bought some pull ups yesterday so at the moment when we're in the house I'll have him in pants but when we go out I'll put him in pull ups

I bought a Potette but really don't like it! It isn't sturdy on the toilet at all so I've been and bought a portable training seat and he's had a couple of wees on it but don't think he's that keen on it! But going to take it out with me as it's more portable than our potty I think

Here's hoping it will all work out!

Twinwife Tue 17-Nov-15 09:56:06

Hi, I am 37 weeks with number 2 and started potty training DS1 in the summer when he was 2 and 4 months. He sat on the potty one day and so I went for it. He has generally been good with wees but has had accidents most days, generally when tired/distracted. Until about 2 weeks ago he had been pooing himself daily in his pants. So many times I nearly went back to nappies but just persevered in the end and we now seem to be getting there. I suppose what I am trying to say is just keep going, and it may take longer than you think!!

pretend Tue 17-Nov-15 10:02:25

So Twinwife you have dealt with shitty pants every single day since the summer?! Wow!

You have more patience than me. After two weeks I was ready to kill. The pull ups saved my sanity (and DD's skin!)

I don't think a child who has accidents most days is potty trained actually. That's just a child who doesn't wear nappies.

Twinwife Wed 18-Nov-15 07:28:49

Yes pretend, totally accident free now thank goodness. It's so hard to know what to do for the best. In our case pull ups seemed to confuse him. I think I was blessed with a child who didn't mind soiling/wetting himself .

HSMMaCM Wed 18-Nov-15 08:39:21

I would agree with letting him wear nappies or pull ups, but also encouraging him to do all his wees and poos on the potty or toilet. You'll suddenly realise that he's had a few days with a dry, clean nappy all day and you can try the pants again. Toilet training done at the correct time for your child should take no longer than a week.

Helen2407 Wed 18-Nov-15 12:13:14

We've started with the pull ups and it's making everything seem a lot less stressful. And today when we were out he told me he needed a wee and he used the potty. And this morning when he woke his nappy he wore overnight was completely dry and he went straight on the potty for a wee.

He's still pooing himself- he is telling me he needs a poo but then won't sit on the potty and seems upset and says he doesn't need one anymore then not long afterwards he does one. But for the past two days instead of being hysterical when I clean him up, he's been fine. And today he even came to me to tell me he had done a poo- so some progress there smile

PirateJones Wed 18-Nov-15 14:42:12

Great progress, Just focus on wees for now, but praise him when he tells you he's about to poo and when he's told you he has pooed.

Issie339 Wed 18-Nov-15 17:48:59

Great progress! Glad the pull-ups have made it less stressful for you both.

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