Pull ups or straight off nappies cold turkey?

[weeblueberry]

My 2.5 year old announced yesterday she needed to go to the toilet (no real prompting from us) and every wee thereafter used the loo instead of her nappy. Although we've very casually discussed the loo with her in the last few months we've certainly not made a deal of it so her announcement was a bit of a shock. As a result we've not really done much reading on the subject yet but yesterday heard two different techniques for initialising it.

Our childminder said she uses special pull ups after they've decided to use the loo and treats them like pants but obviously they hold wee or poo if there's an accident. She said it's how she's always suggested training to her clients.

But at dinner last night with NCT friends, both mums who have toilet trained toddlers said their nursery suggested they go straight to pants. Reasoning being that they'll have an accident or two, really hate the sensation and won't do it again.

Now I discussed it with DP last night and he felt uncomfortable with the latter. Worrying it was a bit 'shaming'. I wondered what other parents thought and the difference in time it took with the varying techniques? My childminder will obviously go with whichever we like but I'm worried keeping nappies will make her lazy about it?

[Iwantakitchen]

I am a childminder and one of the issues is that it's the childminders furniture/sofa/floor that will get soiled. I always put blankets on sofas and chairs when potty training but we've had to have furtiture and carpet cleaned at my cost, and I don't make a lot of money in the first place... But I always go with what the parents want. An alternative are training pants, you can find them on eBay, they have a slim plastic liner that can hold a small wee, you can put a disposable nappy liner in it to catch poo accidents. That's what I generally recommend as they feel like more like grown up pants than pull ups.

[LittleCandle]

straight off, cold turkey, except at night initially. Make sure you have plenty of clean knickers available and let her get on with it. DD1 had (and has) severe bladder problems, and was a nightmare to train. DD2 had it cracked within a week.

[milkingmachine1]

I've found that whenever we used a pull-up (e.g for a long car journey) it really confused my DD, she's been dry since she was 2 and we just went cold turkey. A star chart and chocolate buttons have been helpful incentives. I do understand about your husband's concerns. But the wet feeling is a direct consequence of having an accident, so it's no bad thing as otherwise how will they learn.

[weeblueberry]

Thanks all. I completely understand the suggestion to go cold turkey. I'm not precious about anything so if she wees/poos on the sofa etc it's not the end of the world. The childminder knows that and if it were my technique she was following I would expect her to clean it but not pay for anything potentially ruined.

I also think that it's only a shaming thing if you shame her for it? Like if you make it out to be a bad thing which, obviously, we wouldn't.

[NickNacks]

I'm not precious about anything so if she wees/poos on the sofa etc it's not the end of the world. The childminder knows that and if it were my technique she was following I would expect her to clean it but not pay for anything potentially ruined.

I understand you don't mind your furniture being ruined but what about hers. I suspect that's what she's more worried about, not your house!

You could put pants on first, then a pull up. I actually don't mind straight into knickers but will keep them out of my sitting room whilst training in the early days to protect my new carpet and sofa.

[weeblueberry]

She childminds at my house. Sorry I should have made that clearer.

[Wotsitsareafterme]

If I had a 3rd dc I would go the pull ups route. No approach worked with dd1 she was slow and I should have let her have them. Dd2 I let her have pull ups and I knew she was cracked when she started pulling them down and taking herself to the loo. Kids are dry/clean when they are able to hold themselves I don't think anything much hurries or slows the process though I would avoid shaming at any cost

[MrsLeighHalfpenny]

I think pull ups give a sense of security that you don't want. ie, that it's OK to go for a wee in them if you're engrossed in a game or something.

Cold turkey is the way to go - sounds like your DD has trained herself already anyway! My DD just announced round about the same age that she didn't want to wear nappies any more, and that was it. No "training" necessary.

[weeblueberry]

Thank you all. I think we're going to go with no pull ups in the house and use them when we're going to be out a while. We went to the shops near us last night and she told me she needed to go to the loo thank God we were in Mothercare!! so I'm hoping she's getting the hang.

We did have two poos in her pants but reading suggests that's quite normal at this stage.

[StepfauxWife]

Can I hijack the thread somewhat and ask those going cold turkey about daytime naps? Or long journeys? Do you use nappies or pull ups for those?

[MrsLeighHalfpenny]

I didn't. On long journeys, we had regular stops and kept a potty in the car. For daytime naps, which were usually downstairs, I pot a thick towel or blanket under DD. It's only wee after all. It washes out.

[WellyMummy]

Straight into pants for home. Feel and learn pull-ups for journeys etc.

Had a friend who had never used pull-ups at nappy stage but called them 'plane pants' and used them for Transatlantic flights on newly PT children!

[Out2pasture]

Padded training pants, not really pull ups and not really thin underwear.