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Stressful toilet training

(4 Posts)
SLNelson Wed 29-Jul-15 23:58:12

My son is 3 and 7 months, we started toilet training almost a year ago but we have never had one full week without him peeing or pooing in his pants. We tried a potty first, then the toilet (bought him little ladders to help) but he just wont do it.
We have tried a little chart telling him that he could have a treat once he had a row of stars - cue the screaming that he just wanted the treat and no focus on the toilet, we didn't even get through the day!
We tried pull ups but he prefers pants.
We tried talking to him about the germs and the fact that it isn't a nice smell.
We tried telling him we were very sad when he had an accident and very happy when he went to the toilet.
We have tried ignoring accidents and just changing him without a fuss.
we have tried using his friends/cousins as examples (i.e look Billy uses the toilet all the time!)
We have tried asking him to go. and taking him at intervals.

The other night we just decided to tell him straight, that he couldn't go to nursery (which he is excited about) if he cannot use the bathroom. My husband & I really gave the kid what for and told him he would be getting one pair of pants in the morning and one pair of pants only and he has to keep them clean and dry or he would get his pyjamas on and go to bed. ( I then went downstairs and cried for shouting at my little boy and fearing that we will give him mental scars over toilet training) but the next day he stayed clean and dry!

That didn't last long, now we are back at square one and i am out of ideas. I am so frustrated that i don't know where to go from here. I have the sweetest smartest kid but he just can't/won't/ doesn't want to use the toilet.....

The last thing I can think of is to just leave him in his wet/dirty underwear to see if it changes his mind, he is used to being cleaned and changed then going back to play.

Sorry for the long post but I really need some advice!!!

Thanks - a stressed out MUM!

ijustwannadance Thu 30-Jul-15 00:17:47

The fact he his capable of it must be even more frustrating. Try leaving him in the wet pants just long enough for him to feel uncomfortable.

SLNelson Mon 03-Aug-15 20:14:33

Its so stressful at the minute, he is pushing every boundary. we have been using a star chart for 4 days. 2 days with accidents, 2 without. Today he got his 'treat' for staying dry, then peed himself straight after. managed all day in his grannys house, they even made their own little chart, then just a nightmare since he has been home. im so sick of talking about pee and poo!!!!

Merridah Sat 08-Aug-15 16:18:56

I'm so glad I'm not alone here. I've come on to mums net to seek advice. I have a just turned 4 year old step daughter and my other half has been trying to potty train her for ages!
As the summer came I said we really need to abolish pull ups especially as she is starting big school in Sept.
She's really not getting it!! Its been a solid 3 months since we've been doing it and she will go to the toilet if we take her but sometimes we take her and she says she doesn't need a wee and then a few minutes later she wets herself! Not only that we've had poo drama too. She constantly poos on the floor and the last few times my other half has caught her with the poo smeared all over her and the floor and she's squelching it in her hands!!! Sorry for the graphic image but it is fowl! She is 4 years old and all other children in her class are trained and I'm fed up of the disapproving looks and people saying 'don't you think she should be out of nappies by now?
She never asks to go to the toilet it's always us taking her. Is there something im missing? I'm thinking there's something else going on. Any advice welcomed!! Thanks

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