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Bad Mum, lost it at DD after accident.

(4 Posts)
imwithspud Sun 12-Jul-15 12:39:31

I feel awful, everything I've read about potty training says to not make a big thing about any accidents and I've just gone and done the complete opposite. DC1 is 2yrs 8.5months and over this weekend we have really started with the potty training after a couple of half hearted failed attempts over the past few months. We fully believe she is ready as she is able to hold it and she tells us just before she does a poo in her nappy. Yesterday morning was great, zero accidents and with some gentle encouragement she even did a poo in the potty, we had a couple of accidents in the afternoon but I put it down to my mum and then PIL visiting so there were lots of distractions although I was asking/reminding/sitting her on the potty frequently. We remained calm, told her it wasn't a bit deal and that next time she feels like she needs to pee to try and make it to the potty.

Anyway I was in the kitchen making DC's lunch, she was in there with me when she announced that she needed a wee, so I told her to go and sit in the potty in the living room whilst I quickly finished lunch and that I'd be there in a second. Only she didn't, instead she went and sat on the sofa and started watching TV. Next thing I know I hear her moaning and shouting that she'd done a wee. This all happened within the space of 30seconds and I'm ashamed to say that I told her off, I know I shouldn't have, she got upset and now I've probably ruined the whole process but I was just so angry that after me telling her to go and sit herself on the potty (which is is more than capable of understanding and doing) she chose not to and sat on the sofa instead, and I'm probably being precious but part of me was/is annoyed that she pee'd on the sofa.

We're only two days in and already I'm finding it so stressful. She seems to hold her wee until she can't any more, will ask for a nappy every now and then instead of going to the potty. She will announce that she needs a wee, I will tell her to sit on the potty, she does but then won't do anything unless it's got to the point where she can't hold it any more. We are totally new to this and I have no idea if it's normal or not, I hear so many stories of how easily people potty trained their toddlers with zero accidents. I'm also getting comments from family now that it's time she was out of nappies. I definitely think she's ready and that she's just used to the ease of going in a nappy. I feel clueless.

holeinmyheart Mon 13-Jul-15 00:54:54

You are not clueless, just new to the job.
There are no hard and fast rules as each child is different. However your 2.8.5 yr old is also new to controlling herself. She just doesn't have the language or maturity to explain to you what is going on in her head. So bear with her, keep as calm as possible and expect accidents.

It takes time but you don't see many adults in nappies. Honestly, just try and be as patient as possible. This phase will pass and she will get the hang of what is expected of her.
Or stress yourself and her out, shout, and make both of you really upset. As a strategy for making her learn quicker, I wouldn't recommend it personally.

Relax, it will come good and which would you rather have, a couple of wet nappies or everyone in tears?

We have all been there ! X

Glitoris Mon 13-Jul-15 01:09:28

She got distracted by the TV,put the potty in the toilet/bathroom.

Remind her by asking 'do you need a wee?' regularly,don't wait (at this early stage) until she tells you she does.

Sticker reward chart for each successful trip to the loo,a prize of some sort when she reaches 20 stickers.

Accept that there will be accidents along the way,we've all been there (and survived relatively sane!!),this is just another non-glamourous stage of parenting,it will pass smile

imwithspud Mon 13-Jul-15 11:06:20

Thanks you. I've been reading some posts in the potty training section which have been helpful, seems to be quite a few people in similar situations. I feel terrible about shouting at her but I will be making sure it doesn't happen again. You're right, there will be accidents along the way and as frustrating as it is getting annoyed won't help anyone. We do ask her if she needs to go but she will always say "no thanks", every time. I'm sure we'll get there.

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