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Disastrous first 3 days

(15 Posts)
vanishingact1 Wed 01-Jul-15 12:25:19

Ladies I am for the nut house and it's only day 3. Started training DD who is 2.7 - it's summer and I'm a teacher so now's a good time.

We had a brilliant first morning, no accidents and 3 pees in the potty. She has only used it once since and has had constant accidents. I've told her she can get a chocolate button if she uses it, no joy. Put her in dresses as thought she was having trouble getting her leggings off in time. No difference.

The only progress she is making is keeping the pants on which has taken some persuasion. Any tips greatly appreciated!

dementedpixie Wed 01-Jul-15 12:30:46

Are you taking her to the toilet regularly or relying on her to tell you when she needs it?

to start with I took mine at regular intervals or when their body language indicated they needed to go. It took a few weeks before they told me when they needed the toilet

vanishingact1 Wed 01-Jul-15 12:35:08

Thanks for reply! I'm putting her on it every 10 mins or so - she doesn't tell me when she needs to go. She is quite happy to sit on it but will pee on the carpet right next to it!

nottheOP Wed 01-Jul-15 12:37:33

DS was a bit of a shocker but thought that he was getting quite old for nappies, the first few days are going to be tough and I'd rather not quit and repeat the first few days again!

We just put him on the potty every 30 minutes and gave a bit of easter egg every time he did a wee. He had to learn to make the wee come when he sat down, turn it on if you will. He certainly wasn't one of these who got it in two days but by the end of week 2, he was down to one accident a day where he stayed until the end of the second month. He then majorly regressed and was wetting himself up to 6 times a day for a week or so.

He then 'got it' and has been mostly dry for a month or so bar the odd accident mid tantrum. Poos are another story but wise mn-ers tell me it's a boy thing.

vanishingact1 Wed 01-Jul-15 14:09:16

This is much harder than I thought! She did a pee in the potty but left her knickers on and lots of little accidents. Tried her on the toilet seat and she was hysterical shouting "NO" - oh dear! I'm really hoping that this is a tough first few days and I'm determined to keep at it for now.

Just have to keep reminding myself that everyone gets there eventually...

westcountrywoman Wed 01-Jul-15 14:19:23

I'd try her with no pants and just a t-shirt or short top, so getting to the potty in time is just a case of sitting down. Also she can easily see the wee happening which will improve the association of the feeling of going with knowing what's happening.

HerbertSherbet Wed 01-Jul-15 14:22:40

I'd try her with no pants and just a t-shirt or short top, so getting to the potty in time is just a case of sitting down. Also she can easily see the wee happening which will improve the association of the feeling of going with knowing what's happening.

^THIS

captainproton Wed 01-Jul-15 14:33:20

I have one of those kids who likes to do everything by themselves and hates being shown what to do. asking every 10 mins was turning into a power struggle and she would defiantly not use the toilet. I got her a big girl toy she wanted to play with. Told her she could play with it for a little bit of she used the toilet/potty, told her that she was in charge of her wee and poo, and I wasn't going to ask her anymore. We had a couple of days of accidents, but as the big girl toy say on a shelf near the toilet she could resist no longer. She got to play with for about 20 mins at a time wen she used the toilet, and now she has it outright because she has completely cracked it. It's a different approach than the reminders because that really was making training a heck of a lot worse.

vanishingact1 Wed 01-Jul-15 15:08:05

@captainproton that sounds like my girl! she is currently half naked, pants are all either washing or drying! She is def getting very emotional and narky. I'll try keeping her in just a t-shirt/dress as I think pants are adding to her angst just now. She keeps saying she's naughty even though I haven't been getting her in trouble for her accidents. I think tonight might need to involve a glass of wine for mum.

NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata Wed 01-Jul-15 15:12:39

I would leave it until she was well and truly ready. It's SO much easier!

captainproton Thu 02-Jul-15 01:43:59

Vanishing my dd also got very upset at wetting herself, As in letting herself down. So it was always a case of reassurance and cuddles after clearing up. I did often think about going back to nappies but because this was as much an emotional journey as a physical one for dd I remained firm, told her no that I believed she could do it, that I was there to help her and that a bit of wee and poo didn't matter. I thought if I gave up she would become even more tense and fearful the next time we tried. Oh I also told her that we go to the toilet because wee and poo lives in the sea and we had to help get them home. She liked to say goodbye to it and wave it off and helped with the why questions. We had no joy with the potty it was straight onto toilet because mummy doesn't use a potty so she didn't trust it. But honestly I reckon these kids can sense our tension and so best to step back and let them figure it out. Having a strong minded, independent child has its good points, but just like me trying to teach her how to ride a bike she point blank refuses to be helped and I have to stand back and watch her struggle knowing my advice is not wanted! God only help us when they are teenagers!! Hope tomorrow goes much better for you.

captainproton Thu 02-Jul-15 01:50:04

Guatemala some kids are ready but are frightened of making mistakes and get themselves wound up, and would prefer to stay in nappies. With these kids you have to be firm and supportive, not all children just wake up one day willing to cast away the security of a nappy. If they are independent learners you have to appreciate that they don't want your help learning, but deep down they do want your help when they get stuck. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't got a child like this. I had to tell my dd's preschool not to remind her to use the toilet otherwise she will stubbornly not go even if she did need it, after a week of not listening to me they agreed. Every child is different.

sidonie1 Fri 03-Jul-15 08:31:43

I have no advice but I sympathise wholeheartedly as my boy is also at this point and it's killing me slowly.

Clobbered Fri 03-Jul-15 08:38:31

Sorry, probably not what you want to hear, but you can't just decide to potty-train your child because it's a good time for you. It doesn't work - as you have found. Forget it, put her back in nappies/pull-ups. She knows about the potty / toilet now, and can let you know when she's ready to use it. Persisting will just lead to frustration for both of you and a whole lot of cleaning up.

My eldest announced that he was too old for nappies on his third birthday, took his nappy off, and never wore one again, and never had a single accident. Job done. I followed his lead with the other two, we never really even used a potty, but went straight for the toilet when they were ready. I highly recommend a policy of benign neglect. It works, it really does, and it saves you sooooooo much hassle.

vanishingact1 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:45:32

A wee update - she is wearing pants and using the potty - no accidents today yet, so much better. Lots of encouragement and letting her go around in the buff has really helped so thanks for that suggestion! Clobber - I am lucky enough to have 6 weeks off to try and help her with this and I think I'd be daft not to use it. I can't see her ever doing what your son did, her personality is probably very different.

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