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I tried too early and now I think we should try again (months on) but don't know where to start... any advice?

(4 Posts)
DuchessOfWeaseltown Sat 09-May-15 21:40:52

Stupidly, I made a very brief attempt to potty train DD when she was approx 22 months - she seemed SO excited by a potty she saw her older cousin using that I thought she was ready to have a go. She was so excited by it all, loved the bright training pants and the idea of the chocolate button treat, and even managed to do one wee in the potty the day before I actually started, so it all looked good. But then She got very upset the first time she wet her training pants and so I backed off INSTANTLY and haven't mentioned it again since.

Until a couple of weeks ago (she is now 2.3) as I think she is, in many important ways, very ready to try properly now. She HATES having her nappy changed these days, she is starting to get quite embarrassed/self-conscious about poo, and she is astonishingly verbal which, I gather, really helps the whole process along.

But every time I have broached the topic, she is instantly, without even listening to me, very upset, the same way she was when she wet herself several months ago.

Now obviously I don't know if it is simply that she is still too young (and is upset as she isn't ready) or, as part of me really thinks, that she is upset because of the last brief attempt.

I could kick myself for being such an idiot as obviously it was silly to try something that upset her and then, almost worse, give up as if it was a failure (I mean, obviously I didn't in any way imply that it was a failure, of course not, but she is an incredibly sensitive little soul and I worry that she has somehow got the impression this is something she can't do).

So wwyd?

fwiw she is easily upset by many many things (that sort of child!!) from not being allowed to watch another peppa pig (histrionic grief) to there being the wrong sort of yogurt available at the supermarket, so to a certain extent it is often very very hard to tell if her being upset about something is really as big a deal to her as her actions often imply. What I mean is that yes, she is upset by mentioning the potty, but she is upset by SO MANY THINGS that she simply HAS to do (holding my hand to cross the road etc) that sometimes I do just take the view that I have to forge on as otherwise we will never get anywhere at all with anything.

But I know potty training is a sensitive and delicate matter and our approach with DD is softly-softly in general so I would never want to do anything to upset her.

I can't write all this without adding that selfishly I would love her to be potty trained sooner rather than later as every nappy change (poo ones especially) are such a drain these days. Also she is starting pre-school in Sept where she ideally needs to be potty-trained. It isn't the end of the world if she isn't but if she isn't I would realistically have to hold off even trying until a couple of months after that (as wouldn't want it to coincide with a big change like starting pre-school) in which case it would be November-ish, she would be 2.9, and I can't really imagine leaving it that long with the way she is at the mo.

Should I just start again, (gently and kindly) ignore the early protest, bribe away with choc buttons etc and really give it a proper go this time? DO they often get upset at the wet pants etc the first day or so, even if they are ready? (In which case maybe I should have seen it through when I started before and not just given up immediately...)

Or should I wait another month or so and see if anything changes...?

Thanks in advance and apologies for epic post!!

slightlyconfused85 Mon 11-May-15 06:43:08

Don't feel bad , you stopped straight away. I would try again in earnest for a couple of days- they do sometimes get a bit upset but she will understand your reassurances that it doesn't matter and try again next time etc. If she isn't getting anywhere in 2-3
days just leave it again. You hVent damaged her smilesmile

Galvanized Mon 11-May-15 07:47:33

If she didn't like being wet in the training pants, wasn't that a good lesson learnt for "next time wee goes in the potty"? I thought that was a key sign of readiness really, not looking the feeling of being wet. Try again cold turkey with real pants not nappies/pull ups.

slightlyconfused85 Mon 11-May-15 09:31:04

Agree go straight for knickers. My dd just treated pull ups like a nappy

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