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Potty Traning 4 year old, not weeing for long periods

(18 Posts)
MigGril Wed 28-Jan-15 14:48:48

Hi I just found this page and wanted to ask if anyone had come across this problem before. We've been having difficulty potty training out son who's now 4, we've had some success and oddly he can poo on the potty but is really struggling with wee's.

He can go a long time between wee's sometimes well over 4 hour's sometimes even 6. I've already booked a doctor’s appointment to get him checked out but there isn't anything obviously wrong, his wee is clear and doesn't smell there is a lot of it when he goes and I've been encouraging him to drink.

I've booked the doctors appointment at the recommendation of our Health Visitor who's been helping with this and wants’ to rule out any problems.

We've been trying lots of encouragement but it's taken some time just to get him this far to wearing pants and sitting on the potty. He's quit stuban and not easily persuaded by rewards. He's never been bothered about being wet or dirty which doesn't help. If fact my husband just thinks he's being stuban rather then there being an issue.

But I'm also concerned that he doesn't seem to have much warning that he needs a wee. He will say I need a wee, but the do it then and there without being able to get to the potty. It's always a big wee to. Anyone come across this sort of thing before or got any advice please.

Piratejones Wed 28-Jan-15 15:49:50

What does his school / nursery say?
We had this at pretty much the same age, possibly a bit older, we had to do timed visits and get him to press under his tummy with his hand to get the flow started.

He has additional needs, and although nothing has been diagnosed about the wetting, I'm still not sure he's able to feel the need to go like normal, but he's very reliable now at 7.

I know it's not ideal, but the good news is, if he's holding at school, you might be able to send him in underpants and use nappies at home without any trouble. The GP might reefer you to the continence nurse, or wait until he's 5, which will give you loads of advice and let you know about the possibility of free nappies if you are entitled.

MigGril Wed 28-Jan-15 18:54:24

Nursery are being quit supportive and are encouraging him to sit on the potty but he's so far only had one accident there as he can go do long between wees. HV it's encouraging is to sit him on the potty every two hours but he's becoming very resistant to that and can end up with a battle sometimes as he's so difficult to motivate.

CleverPlansAndSecretTricks Wed 28-Jan-15 18:59:33

Maybe he is a bit big for the potty and would do better with a normal toilet? At that age they sometimes like being "like a grown up"? My 4 yr old can go ages between wees too and will never go if I ask him too. I say "I bet you can't do a standing up pee like daddy" and he races to the loo and does one straight away.

He usually only does 3 a day, so 6hours sounds fine to me.

Jasonandyawegunorts Wed 28-Jan-15 19:16:14

I'd lay a nappy out over the potty and get him to wee onto the nappy.

MigGril Wed 28-Jan-15 21:13:23

He won't entertain the toilet at all. We have a bigger potty if you know what I mean and fit on it well.

we've suggested standing up to him like daddy but he's not keen. HV says not to push it as it can confuse them.
I like the nappy on the potty idea mite give that a go. especially as he will do poos but jumps straight up. maybe he doesn't like seeing his weehum.

Piratejones Fri 30-Jan-15 14:38:02

don't panic mig he will get it at some point.

Whens the Doctor appointment / how did it go?

girliefriend Fri 30-Jan-15 14:40:16

If he is drinking okay I wouldn't worry maybe he just has a large bladder! My dd can go for ages before she needs a wee but is perfectly healthy so it doesn't concern me.

TywysogesGymraeg Fri 30-Jan-15 14:45:19

Don't panic OP. How many 17 year olds do you know who wear nappies? It will come - he'll be ready when he's ready, though if he can hold wee in for 6 hours, then that is a good thing, surely, not a bad thing?

Have you tried rewarding him? Give him a treat for doing a wee? Four does seem old to be sitting on a potty though - have you thought about getting one of those little seats which fit over the big toilet seat? It makes the toilet easier to use for them.

Don't push things - just keep encouraging/rewarding/setting examples. Does he have any mates his own age who he can watch going to the toilet? That might help.

wigglybeezer Fri 30-Jan-15 14:47:56

He could just have a large bladder, all my boys have and never have to use the loos at school even at primary. DH can last a whole long haul flight but he had to have CBT for a "shy" bladder caused in part by pressure to wee on command by my MIL when he was little who never believed that he didn't need to go, so tread carefully.

MigGril Fri 30-Jan-15 18:38:06

His doctors appointment is next week. HV thought it would be useful to log his wetting pattern for a few days before we went.

We have a toilet seat to he won't use it, he's really very stuban is the only word I can use for him. As if he doesn't want to do something he really can be hard work. We've be trying rewards, he's actually said he's getting board with them grr.

We have one of those big thrown type pottys so it's not too small for him. I did really hope that starting nursery and seeing his friends use the toilet would help. All his good freinds are toilet trained now he doesn't seem to care.

Today has been a bad day, he's been wet more but all accidents. wiggly one of the reasons why I haven't pushed it to much before now was worrying I'd cause a problem. I do think he's always had good bladder capacity, but in some respects it makes potty traning harder as there is less opportunity for him to get it.

TywysogesGymraeg Sat 31-Jan-15 15:41:53


One day he'll just decide he wants to use the toilet. Kids do things in their own time - it'll come.

Piratejones Sat 31-Jan-15 15:51:08

Good luck with he appointment, I will certainly get it at some point.

would it be easier for you if you forget the potty totally and put him in a pullup at set points in the day, 8 oclock, 12 oclock 4 oclock and so on so he's able to go?

That way you will know if he has a physical problem with releasing his wee and it's a lot less messy.

MigGril Sun 01-Feb-15 08:03:35

Well you'll never guess what DH did last night, he forgot to put DS nighttime pullup on when he put him to bed. We got woken this morning by him turning on the bathroom light to wee on the potty. He'd been dry all night to. He got lots of prase and filled in his new reward chart.

He was also much better yesterday.

I do have a question though he really doesn't like the sight off his wee and will jump off the potty asap. He was almost sick at one point yesterday. Maybe this is why he's been so reluctant to train.
But I still can't persuade him to use the toliet, even with a nice soft toliet seat any ideas?
Thinking that he then won't have to see the wee as it'll be in the water.

Thanks for all the help everyone I've seriously been considering giving up again like time's before. but it seems like it's just taking him longer and we needed to keep going.

bonzo77 Sun 01-Feb-15 08:09:28

Can you make weeing a game? Cheerios in the loo to aim at. Bloo toilet block to colour the water. Playing games on your phone while he sits.

girliefriend Sun 01-Feb-15 11:12:37

I would at age 4 not give up now, just keep going (as long as no SEN) he will eventually get it. I think re going on the toilet just don't make a big deal of it and make sure he sees you and other family members using it!! I am assuming he will be starting school in Sept so am sure with all the other kids using it he will be over it by then!

Jasonandyawegunorts Sun 01-Feb-15 11:49:43

put cheerios in the toilet, get him to stand up and aim for them. It might make things more fun.

redcaryellowcar Sun 01-Feb-15 13:41:32

I found with ds we got into a routine, so we'd have a wee when. He got up (was wearing night nappies) then another one before we went out for the morning then another before lunch, a bit dressed up as let's have a wee and wash our hands before we have lunch, another before his nap, and then a pre dinner one, like lunch, and a wee before his bath, this sounds like a lot, but it seemed to work, then I realised would he ever feel the urge to go, so I reduced the times I was reminding but carried on in critical times like going out as easier to wee at home, I think they do start to feel the need, but if you are convinced that he isn't I'd discuss your concerns with your hv. We bought soft close toddler toilet seats, so you just replace your toilet seat with this one which has a smaller and larger seat, we also bought a set of two steps from ikea, I'd read they like to have pressure through their feet as they wee and poo?

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