DD scared of the potty?

[LazyRohazy]

DD is turning 3 in a couple of weeks, so we have been thinking about potty training again after a failed attempt about 6 months ago.

I thought the signs were good. She is interested in pants so I let her choose some. Her favourite book of the moment is 'Princess Polly's Potty', which we have to read several times a day. She always wants to come to the toilet with me and tries to watch me pee. But when it comes to her using the potty - or a trainer seat on the loo - she just panics and bursts into tears! She won't even sit on it fully clothed.

My gut instinct is to wait again, but my PIL are really piling on the pressure with us (not her thankfully). Every time we see them (every couple of months as they live a bit of a distance away) practically the first thing out of MIL's mouth is "is that child not out of nappies yet?!"

Do you think I'm right to wait a bit longer before trying again? And how can I politely tell MIL to take a seat?

[elbett]

Of course you are absolutely right to wait and try again in a few months. If it upsets her that much then she's not ready and it's unfair (and totally unnecessary) to rush her.

My DD turns 3 next week and is pretty much trained now. However, had it not been for pressure from others, I would have waited a bit longer until we were BOTH ready and it probably would not have been such a long-winded and stressful experience! I don't know what it is with older generations and potty training... My DM is brilliant and very supportive about everything, but I did feel under pressure from her to start potty stuff earlier than I thought was best.

[Fiftyplusmum]

Tell MIL not to worry, you expect she'll be using a toilet by the time she's a grownup!
Is it a small wobbly potty or a nice secure one in a plastic chair?
The PILs are making you anxious, and the anxiety is probably getting through to her. We use to do star reward charts - do people still do those?

[LazyRohazy]

Thanks both.

I think it must be a generational thing with the PIL, she keeps going on about my DH having been out of nappies by the age of 1! My mum is a bit the same but not as bad (and further away).

Yes, the potty is a good sturdy chair one so I'm not concerned about that.

You're probably worrying about the anxiety. I just need to reassure them - and me - that she'll not be in nappies forever!

[LazyRohazy]

*probably RIGHT ABOUT the worrying, I mean!

[Pengyquin]

A few tips that I found helpful:

When she poos in her nappy, do you take her (and the pooey nappy!) to the toilet and put the poo down the toilet?

Then ask her to flush the toilet and wave bye bye. Tell her poos and wees go in the toilet.

Let her watch you every time on the toilet. Don't make her sit on the seat, just say what you're doing and get her to flush.

Buy a baby bjorn potty. The inner bit removes.

I think now, by 3, she's clearly understands. Personally I would be going a little cold turkey so to speak. Nappies off. Knickers off. Make her either pee where she's standing or in a potty! Sitting her on a potty fully clothed seems a bit odd to me (but I know the advice is in a lot of books). You just need to get ONE wee in the potty and make a huge fuss about it (lots of cheering, press the button on the book etc)

Do not use pull ups. They're confusing. No nappies at all, apart from bedtime. Stay in the house for the first 3-4 days. You need to dedicate some time to this. Do you have time to do it?

Why did she fail last time? What happened?

[florentina1]

Being scared of the potty is quite common . My GS got clean just before his 4th birthday. With the next child they avoided the potty altogether and went straight for a seat on the toilet . I think it helps if you let them see the parents using the toilet, if you cam bear it. Ignore the grandparents.

[nickelbabe]

Pengy - I'm not sure about thecold turkey.
Dd loves her potty, quite happily sits on it for ages.
Still she refuses to wee on it.
Bare bum, just knickers, fully dressed: wee where she stands.

And we started with pants, no pull-ups at all