Been training for aaaages and still not fully dry! Help!?!

[gillyweed]

Dd1is 2.7, we've been potty training for probably just under 3 months. We have a potty in the sitting room, one on the landing and a training seat in the bathroom for the loo. I'm still putting her in pull ups at night and for naps, and every time we go out.

She just doesn't seem reliable; some days she's great and everything goes in the potty, others its accident after accident. I try to remain calm and give lots of praise for sucesses, but it feels like as soon as she has knickers and leggings on she just completely forgets - I can't even contemplate leaving the house without a pull up!

She seems to do lots of little wees and her attention span is appalling, I ask and ask (recognising signs) she ignores/refuses then has an accident 5 mins later. she's also started hiding when doing poos and refusing to let me check her pants.

Have I done it all too soon? have I messed it up with the pull ups? How do I leave the house (I can't really see me ever whipping out a potty in public/park etc.)? Have I phychologically damaged the poor child?

This all cooincides with a major house move (almost new country) and an impending 2nd child (39 +3).

Any advice greatly appreciated!!!

[addictedtosugar]

OK. I'm a disaster at potty training - both mine have loads of accidents, but if it was me I would:
a) insist on going to the toilet before starting anything - don't need to wee, but do need to sit on the toilet.
b) big drinks, to try and get a big wee, and stop the lots of little wees
c) try going out without the pullup. Go somewhere that has easy access to toilets. Or somewhere so close that if everything gets wet, you can change pants, and come straight home.

What do you mean refusing to check pants? for wee or poo? Trousers here (two boys). wet was obvious, and poo was telling in that they walked very bow legged!

Good luck. Given the arrival of number 2, might you be worth going back into nappies for a bit - although breastfeed and potty training at the same time is a nightmare!

[gillyweed]

Oh thank you for the reply!

Do you do sticker/reward charts or anything? She's somewhat willful and literally Won't sit on the potty unless she wants to - and I don't really want to man-handle her onto it! Big drinks is a great idea, so obvious!!!

Right, defo got to try some trips out without the pull up. Might start with the grandparents and maybe a quick walk to the shops - I don't know why but it scares me!

Yeah she won't let me have a look in her pants, most of the time the smell is obvious but sometimes... Its almost always when she's started pooing, which suggests to me she knows she shouldn't be doing it in her pants.

Ahhhh breastfeeding and potty training, think I'll cross that bridge when I come to it... Although this baby seems quite content where it is!

[Piratejones]

I can't add to the good advice here, if all else fails there is nothing wrong with returning to nappies for a few months, sometimes it's far easier than fighting a battle of stalemates.

[flowerfairy]

I have had a very wilful dd. It has taken over 18mths to get ,more or less reliable at going to toilet on own. Tried all tactics, ignoring, rewards, new pants, nothing worked. I have had to completely ignore all accidents and remind about using the loo less often because we have had a huge battle of wills. It has been hugely frustrating as she is so bright in many other ways. Ds took 3mths to be reliable with very few battles, so each child is different.
Main advice - probably go back to nappies for awhile and be relaxed next time

[northyorksbelle]

Aah flowerfairy, look at you using positive terms like "reliable" now. Have you finally left this tortured sisterhood of potty training nightmares? I of course made the rookie mistake of proclaiming we had this nonsense all but sorted and have been proven wrong again. No sooner had I posted those thoughts than there have been "incidents" at school.

OP, it seems like ages but really 3 months is nothing. Me and my boy have been at this for more than 2 years... I can say that we are now in our 3rd year of potty training!!!!!! Hurray for me. Just keep plugging away, it is not something that can be forced, it's a life skill that they have to learn and actually want to do.