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Potty Training dd 21 months, great start but now not so good, what's gone wrong?

(19 Posts)
Mrsshearsagain Fri 18-Apr-14 20:32:19

Dd3 started telling me when she was dirty or wet about 6 weeks ago, at this time she also started using the toilet before having a bath, a few weeks on dd started telling me as she was in the process of so I decided that it was the time to start on training.
We started on Sunday and it was a disaster, lots of accidents throughout the day including all over poor dd2! I decided that perhaps we were attempting this a bit early so put dd back in nappies the next day, to my surprise she began asking to use the toilet and wee'd on the toilet more than not on Monday and most nappies were dry, poo's however were a different story, the next day we had even fewer accidents and by Wednesday dd was dry all but once and even managed a poo on the toilet! Yesterday she was dry all day although was panicing a bit about pooing on the toilet and had 2 'accidents' (she waited for an opportunity to sneak off and poo).
Today we decided as things had been going so well we would let her wear big girl pants, however today has been terrible and she seems to have had constant accidents and has either asked for the toliet constantly and not done anything or asked for the toilet in the middle of already doing it, We always praise dd for using the toilet, I'm not sure what has gone wrong, do you think its just a bad day perhaps? or more?

Mrsshearsagain Sun 20-Apr-14 19:01:54


HandbagsandSnotrags Sun 20-Apr-14 19:08:09

She's young and you are only a few days in. To be honest, compared to some experiences I've heard about, it sounds like a pretty good start.

If you are keen and she is happy, I'd give it at least 2 weeks then review. If you or she find it upsetting then maybe wait a few more months then try again?

Mrsshearsagain Sun 20-Apr-14 20:08:07

Thanks Handbags.
We have had a better day today with just 2 accidents, 1 when she was distracted by lots of chocolate eggs and the other was just before bedtime, no poo's at all today though and it looks as if she has been holding on as she usually goes at least twice a day.
I will give it another week then and see how things develop, she isnt unhappy but is not at all keen about doing poo's on the toilet and I'm concerned how she will get on tomorrow after holding all day.

HandbagsandSnotrags Sun 20-Apr-14 20:58:59

One of mine held onto poos until bedtime nappy went on. Didn't seem to impact on daytime dryness so I just accepted it until it wasn't an issue anymore (months I think). Good luck.

AMJ67 Mon 21-Apr-14 08:41:12

I am potty training my 27months toddler now as well and I would like to comment on something that I have discovered: You are NOT doing anything wrong!
There are to basic groups of thought:
1 - You sit and wait until your toddler tells you that s/he wants to stop using nappies. In this case you intervene minimally but it might take a long time (up to year 4 even). Forget about the stories of the miracle toddler that auto-train at 20 months. They are a tiny minority.
2- You do not wait and train the toddler. In this case you take command. Accidents are normal and it will take as many week/months as it takes. And if you doubt yourself, hesitate, loose confidence, it is likely that it will take longer. The child is taking cues from you. If you are not sure, why should s/he?

The problem for me is that people tend to mix expectations. Expecting a fast and clean training as in Method 1 when you are actually using Method 2 does not work. And remember that Method 1 has a lot of drawbacks as well: more time using expensive nappies, nappy rashes, nappy attachment, plus the increasing number of accidents (nappies overflowing or exploding) during the months prior to the child deciding that s/he has had enough. In the end, it makes no difference in number of accidents, only that theirs happen before, not after.

You are doing great. Persevere!

mumaa Mon 21-Apr-14 20:14:20

I think it sounds like she is doing well, we are currently 2 weeks in to training DD (20.5 months) I'd say it took about 10 days for her to "get it" she is fine at home with bottoms off but pants, etc confuse matters, I know it will take time and entirely agree with what AMJ said.

DD has done number 2 in potty a few times but finds it VERY traumatic, she seems to now be waiting until bedtime and doing it in nappy... Am trying not to make an issue of it and hope she gets past it.

AMJ67 Mon 21-Apr-14 20:40:33

Hi mumaa

My little one had her first big poo on the potty today and I noticed something: She did not sit on it but kind of half-squat half-hover on top of it and let it fall down on the potty (fortunately with accuracy).

I remembered that before she used to go to a corner and stand there doing her poo face while pooing standing. Maybe the concept of sitting to poo is too much to handle at the beginning and perhaps another posture is more normal to them (laying on their back, for example). Perhaps if you adapt to their way of pooing until they get the hang of it it might help.

mumaa Mon 21-Apr-14 21:37:17

Hey AMJ funny you should say that... The first couple she managed in the potty were standing over it, like you say, I think she is used to that position, she has managed to do it sitting down and although she was still upset, it was less so than the first couple, so I thought she was getting used to it but is now withholding until a nappy is on.

I could tell she needed the other day but when I asked she said "no, no, no" furiously shaking her head and waving her hands so I just said "ok" and carried on with what I was doing, she held on until bedtime. She has also did a couple at the very beginning of potty training, which were accidents, again, these were standing up so is clearly used to that. Not sure what else to so other than not to make a fuss...?!

AMJ67 Mon 21-Apr-14 23:27:34

I you know that she is holding it till the night, maybe you should sit her on the potty before bed with some toys and books or even a glass of milk and insist that she stays until she does the poo. Stay with her and perhaps massage her a bit in her tummy and back. If she relaxes, she might do it and begin to enjoy it. You can always stop if she gets too upset.

mumaa Tue 22-Apr-14 12:43:53

Good idea, definitely worth a try!

P.s. Sorry to hijack post!!

givemecaffeine21 Tue 22-Apr-14 16:17:15

Just to share, I've recently been potty training DD - started at 20 months and she's now 21 months and we're basically there but poos were traumatic for her until this week. She would cry and cry every time and held a few until bedtime (which she has never done before). We decided she may have been bunged up once and it had hurt and scared her about pooing again. I wouldn't have said she did suffer from constipation but I guess I may have been wrong as we started giving her apple juice every morning after breakfast and it's been the answer. Within 5-10 minutes of drinking it she needs the potty and poos pretty shortly thereafter. She continued to cry for the first few days but for the past couple she's let out a little wail as she's gone but more to tell us the train has left the station!

She was never a 'purple faced pooer' so I didn't think she struggled, normally the first we knew of a poo was the smell (unlike DS who turns purple), but the apple juice has definitely smoothed the way and reduced the trauma. She also gets a sticker on her chart and two chocolate buttons after every poo.

mumaa Tue 22-Apr-14 16:41:23

Awesome info givemecaffeine will def try potty right before bed and perhaps some apple juice... Although she has already been today, snuck off and did one in her bedroom (on floor) alerted me by taking my hand, showing my it and saying "uh-oh" thankful she doesn't do them in hiding places at least! (So far)

AMJ67 Tue 22-Apr-14 20:06:57

Apple juice is good but apples can also contribute to constipation. I use grape juice or even whole grapes, if she likes them.

Mrsshearsagain Tue 22-Apr-14 20:56:52

1 poo in pants today but..... no wee's in pants at all, every single one on the toilet grin

mumaa Tue 22-Apr-14 21:10:26

Woop woop, that's brilliant mrshearsagain sounds like she is doing really well grin

Mrsshearsagain Tue 22-Apr-14 21:14:33

Thanks, I'm really pleased, we even managed a short trip into town this afternoon, where dd asked for and used the toilet twice! fingers crossed for a similair day tomorrow.

AMJ67 Wed 23-Apr-14 00:52:28

Mine is also doing great. She was today in daycare and she only had 2 accidents. And all poos in the potty without problem.

The issue now is that she asks to go pee every half an hour, probably because she is enjoying the attention so much... Hopefully she will slow down as soon as the novelty wears off smile

mumaa Wed 23-Apr-14 19:16:21

Amazing! Long may the good work continue for all!

DD just shouted on me after being put to bed, telling me she had dirtied her happy. There was a tiny bit in there, so i asked her if she wanted the potty, she said she did and then did number 2 in the potty, so pleased!!

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