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Have given up completely now...

(8 Posts)
GruffaloShoes Fri 14-Mar-14 20:02:23

Thank you to all the kind people who posted on my thread a couple of days ago. I don't have any real life support for this...

Trying to ignore dd's more and more frantic bouncing and jiggling that indicate she needs the toilet (but will NOT either just go or at least tell me) has proved incredibly difficult. I just can't let her pee herself in public places (had a hospital visit in there too) when I KNOW she needs the toilet.

So today I thought I would try to make it a bit easier and put her in pull ups. She threw a massive fit as she loves her knickers so I explained that in order to wear her knickers she MUST go to the toilet. She agreed. Later she was playing in her bedroom and rather than walk 4 m to go to the toilet she peed all over her bed/bedding and clothes.

The red mist descended, I chucked a pull up in her direction and told her to get dressed. I sent her to her play room downstairs and slammed the door after her sad.

I just don't know what to do. She gets loads of attention, gets lots of praise and generally knows she is much loved. But right now I don't want to look at her defiant little face. She knows exactly what she is doing angry. But why? And I haven't got a clue where to go from here.

In addition to this we are getting a lot of irritating and attention seeking behaviour. If we pay attention to her little brother as soon as the focus is away from her she starts screeching etc. In public she is always trying to get the attention of other people by making silly noises. If I'm out with her and speaking to, say, receptionist or bank teller she tries to get the attention focused on her... Is all this maybe linked? I might actually post this in Behaviour too... She also gets quite a lot of one to one attention too.

I feel like a total failure here sad.

NickNacks Fri 14-Mar-14 20:05:17

How olds is she?

GruffaloShoes Fri 14-Mar-14 20:11:10

Sorry! 4 at the end of May.

NickNacks Fri 14-Mar-14 21:30:04

Ok a couple of things... Sorry not sure what you've tried.

Can you try knickers on first and pull up over the top?
Do you ask her to help with the laundering of the wet things such as helping to strip the bed?
Does she go to preschool at all?
I assume she starts school this September?

HandragsNGladbags Fri 14-Mar-14 21:35:06

Have you tried deep breath, 5/7 days at home and no underwear at all?

It may be that when she is actually weeing on herself rather than into her pants/pull ups whatever she hates it. Then no reaction when/if she does it. Clear it up and ignore the behaviour.

GruffaloShoes Fri 14-Mar-14 23:14:06

Nicknacks... She has been in nursery part time since 18 months... She is driving them nuts too. She is exactly the sane there as at home. She will be starting school in September. She has no problem whatsoever with changing out of her wet clothes and taking them to the washing machine... Sheets are just downright fun angry. Have tried knickers under pull-ups and it had no effect whatsoever.

Handrags... Your suggestion of going bottomless may be the one thing I've never tried! It will likely be the next going too.

I'm tearing my hair out as she knows totally what's going on but for some unknown reason just won't go to the toilet. Tonight has been awful but hopefully a good nights sleep will reduce the atmosphere a bit.

HandragsNGladbags Sat 15-Mar-14 07:09:52

Sorry if I'm teaching you to suck eggs but if you google 'toilet refuser' you should get an article by an American doc. Might be worth reading that.

The premise is that it's all about the child holding on to its power to decide and that's what leads to a struggle. Might give you some more ideas.

clearlycrystal74 Sat 15-Mar-14 19:14:02

Handrags... Thank you! I will have a look.

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