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3yr old will sit on potty but holds in wees/poos all day

(12 Posts)
Yonaled Fri 28-Feb-14 22:54:26

Hi our daughter has just turned three and this is the fourth or fifth time we have tried to potty train her.

When she was two we got fairly close with plonking her on a potty just in time and then by the end of the days (after chocolate buttons and stars for each wee) she ended up getting stressed and didn't want to go on the potty and would end up dancing around the room trying to hold it in until eventually a mishap would happen.

Now she just holds it in and when we gently mention after bath time that today was good - sitting on the toilet - but tomorrow we must try and wee on the toilet (grandma took her out to buy a toilet cover which she was excited about at the time) she just refuses. Tomorrow will be the fourth day and she tend to have 2 accidents a day.

She doesn't want to wear nappies and is asking to wear pants but just won't go. We asked a friend of ours, who's a GP, said that in the surgery she would tell a patient to wait 3 months before we tried again. She knows us well and her son was also a late starter but not this reluctant at this age and was at a loss to offer any other advice.


TheDailyWail Fri 28-Feb-14 23:10:04

My dd2 did this and we waited until the year after to potty train in the end. She held it for so long that we had to take her to hospital with bad stomach pains.

elfycat Fri 28-Feb-14 23:26:19

DD2 is 3.5. I thought we'd cracked potty training before Xmas, but then she had chickenpox and it's all gone to pot. I gave her 2 months off from trying.

She insists on wearing nappies. If we don't put one on she will go and find one and hand it to me very firmly. If I mention going to the bathroom she will, ironically, grab my hand and lead me to the toilet telling me what to do.

She had a wee on the toilet (child seat) earlier and then wee'd in her trousers when we managed to persuade her to keep her nappy off. She doesn't pay any attention to wetness or tell us.

DD1 was just over 3 when she finally got how to do a wee. She was nearly 4 before we sorted out the poo situation. I googled 'resistance to potty training' for assistance and followed that advice. I may have to do that again - I called the version I used Toddler Led Toilet Training (TLTT) as I handed over control to her.

funnymummy2931 Sat 01-Mar-14 09:36:11

My DD was the same at 2.5, in the end we bribed her with a toy (Polly pocket) we had bought for her older cousin. She asked could she have it and I promised the same if she used potty and she did. Cost £20 but worth it.

Monissa84 Mon 03-Mar-14 00:25:04

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Gracie2211 Mon 03-Mar-14 13:54:44

I'm having a similar problem with my DD. She has just turned 3 and point blank refuses to do a wee on a potty or toilet (with a child's seat). I can only just about get her to sit on one whilst bribing her and agreeing that she doesn't have to do a wee. About 8 months ago we tried potty training her properly and she did 4 wees on the potty but screamed and cried whilst doing it so we stopped because it was clearly upsetting her. She now refuses to even sit on a potty most of the time unless being bribed. She was in training pants for about 5 hours yesterday and held it the entire time until her tummy started to hurt and as it was bedtime I had to give in and put a nappy on her.

Really at a loss as to what the best thing to do is. I'm not sure whether she is scared or has a legitimate fear about it or whether she is just manipulating the situation to suit what she wants.

Any suggestions or advice would be gratefully received!

crazy88 Wed 05-Mar-14 14:01:38

I honestly think that being consistent is the key. I don't necessarily buy the idea that children are emotionally ready or otherwise, I think for the majority of the time if they are physically capable of doing it they just need to be motivated to do it, although how you achieve that is really the holy grail of parenting in general smile

It's too confusing if you stop and start, it gives them the message that if they make a fuss they will get their own way. You wouldn't accept that sort of negotiating with other areas of parenting, so why accept it with potty training? At the end of the day she is 3 years old so physically capable of being trained, especially as you say she is able to hold on for long periods of time. Stay calm and stay consistent and she will get there smile good luck! smile

ladythatlunches Wed 12-Mar-14 20:57:21

I was just about to start a thread for tge exact same thing in fact I had to check the name because I thought I had already done it and forgot.

my dd is 3,2yrs .

we have tried a good few times and the last time was awful. she woke up at 6am held it all in alllll day till night time 6pm not a dribble no matter how much I pumped her with juice.

so this went on for 4 days I called hv to see what I was doing wrong as ny older 2 never did this and she said to stop and start again. so we are looking at starting again next week agsin bought all new pants even new potty stickers treats but she says no.. and screams at the thought.

so if you have any luck please let me no. you are not alone

LilRedWG Tue 18-Mar-14 13:46:39

I just came on to start a thread like this. DS is 3.1 and point blank refuses to use the toilet or potty. He has also held it in for hours before begging for a nappy.

I'm hoping that starting nursery will change his mind when he sees the other children.

LilRedWG Tue 18-Mar-14 13:47:10

Oh and he won't even sit on the potty or toilet!

RiverTam Tue 18-Mar-14 13:54:51

can you put a nappy on the potty, so she's sitting on the potty but weeing into the nappy? Otherwise (I did this accidentally with pooing) you could give her something like undiluted apple juice which pretty much results in a full on wee almost immediately (with DDD anyway!).

Otherwise leave it, and just use pull ups. It sounds like she's nearly but not quite ready. Give it a month or so, weather's getting better.

happyyonisleepyyoni Wed 19-Mar-14 13:08:33

I let DD sit on the loo watching the iPad when she had gone for 4 days without a poo. She relaxed and forgot about holding it while she was watching Ben and Holly. It does take her at least two episodes to complete a "download" but it does work smile

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