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almost at school and poo.issues. anyone else?!

(11 Posts)
ratqueen Sun 23-Feb-14 08:12:07

Dd (3.10) has been dry a year + now but we have pretty much given up on pants because she has such issues with pooing. I think we are making progress in that she will now at least tell me when she has done a poo. In fact it has gone the other way and she wants it changing after doing the slightest smudge (between her and my six month old I changed ten nappies yesterday afternoon alone!). But she is still scared of.pooing and after a week on my own dealing with it (DH away) I am feeling deflated and sad for her (and myself!) that she can't get past this. It is the hardest thing about parenting I have had to deal with so far trumping even early bfing with mastitis I reckon! The problems started with constipation and escalated into a full on phobia. Nobody really understands and it is embarrassing to I have to when I stay with them (full on tantrums from nappy rash this week at my sister's after she didn't poo for three days after arriving then has been pooing since!). Only one other lovely mum I met in RL admitted to having had the same problem (I am not sure how it came up - I had only just met her when I blurted it out!)

We have tried all the usual and.followed advice from the HV. Bribery is futile though we did have a mini breakthrough when I promised her a poo party but this was shortlived. We have now resorted to a minnie mouse potty which she gets on Monday. She is excited about this... (she I think wants to do it like all her friends do but is just too scared). I am preparing myself for yet another false hope and have visions of sending her to school in princess pull ups!

I am so fed up of changing nappies! I had dc2 when she was almost 3.5 and feel like I didn't sign up to two in nappies! If I had had any idea she would still be in nappies at this age I would have waited to have a second. I feel like I have two babies! Which I always knew I wouldn't cope well with. Between that and her baby talk/regression to get my attention since dc2 I am feeling really worn down by it all.

That's it really. Just needed a rant!

Mumof3xx Sun 23-Feb-14 08:16:54

My dc2 took a long time to get the pooing part

Initially he suffered from toddler diarrhea but we got this under control by the time he was 3.5 through diet. However he still would poo in his pants.

We went the bribery route and it did work for us. With him it was computer time daily if he had a poo. We managed to get on top of it before he started school in sept but I still remind him daily to go for a poo as I worry he might slip back

Pancakeflipper Sun 23-Feb-14 08:22:39

My DS2 wouldn't poo in a potty or the loo (2months before starting school).
We tried various things. Got him to the stage when he would wear pants and ask for a nappy to poo in. Then next step was when he asked to poo in a nappy we put the nappy over the loo like a hammock and he would sit on the loo and the poo went into the nappy stretched across the loo. The next step was "oh no, no nappies left can you just try to poo without one on the loo?" And he did.

I know it sounds bonkers but worked for us (and I wouldn't try this option for ages cos thought it was crazy).

He has the most amazing Ben10 figures collection as rewards for pooing .

Lots of luck. You will get there. And sending you patience as you smile through gritted teeth!

TheRaniOfYawn Sun 23-Feb-14 08:29:41

DS is 4.5 and will only poo in a nappy. He is basically independent and had control though so I'm not worried. He just puts on a nappy when he needs a poo and asks me to wipe his bottom when he's done. If you didn't live in our house you wouldn't know that he was still in nappies. I am confident that he will make the transition at some point. He tells me he will start using the loo before he goes to school full time but he manages a whole day with no trouble. So I think it's more common than you think for children in Reception to still not be fully toilet trained.

ratqueen Tue 25-Feb-14 15:48:28

Thanks everyone. Rani that makes me feel better. If she could be more like your son I would feel better tbh . I just don't like it being an issue for her, ie holding it in so causing a backlog causing nappy rash etc etc. It is something to aim for, in a weird way!

Amiismum Tue 25-Feb-14 16:58:32

my Dd 3.2 is the same, no matter what i try she just wont poo in the toilet, she does tell me straight after that she has done one tho, just concerned as going to nursery soon and they wont take her if this is going on

ratqueen Wed 26-Feb-14 08:19:17

Why won't they take her at nursery though? seems harsh to me. Most kids I know weren't properly trained at 3.2 or were only just so seems a harsh policy for a nursery. My dd's preschool asked what her pt status was and I told them but they have been really disinterested either way tbh. she holds it in when there anyway! I am sure won't dream of pooing at school either I would just like it to be sorted then if at all possible!.

Amiismum Wed 26-Feb-14 08:44:55

Council nurseries just need to have them pt before they join, private ones r diff as u r paying for them tho! When se goes to her dads to stay every 2nd weekend she comes back and he tells me she hasn't pood for 3 days cos she will hold it in that's not right. It concerns me that maybe something is scaring her but I don't know what

ImperfectInEveryWay Wed 26-Feb-14 21:21:11

I second the bribery tactic, that worked brilliantly for our DS when he was potty training at 2.6. He has a fab collection of little cars.

HOWEVER, he is now 3.11 and has just started pooing in his pants! We are at the end of our collective tethers on this as we have no idea why. He's a happy and well adjusted boy, very confident at home and at pre-school, and has been totally potty trained since he was 2.6. This has been going on for the better part of 3 weeks.

Three possible reasons spring to mind. The first - much like you OP - is that we had our second child back in November. I can't believe that this is the reason as he's delighted with DS2 and very happy at home and at pre-school. The second reason is that he's just started standing up to wee so isn't sitting on the loo as frequently so may be leaving it too late to make it in time. The third reason is that he had a day of diarrhoea a few weeks ago, followed by threadworm, both of which have gone. We didn't mention the worms to him as he didn't see them and we didn't want him to worry. He didn't have any 'worms' symptoms apart from the worms themselves.

When questioned he has no reason for pooing his pants and knows that its's not what big boys do. He casts around for reasons ("I didn't make it in time", "I have a sore throat", "I have a poorly tummy") but they aren't usually viable and seem to come from nowhere (he's perfectly well).

We've tried daily incentives, which didn't have an impact. We've asked pre-school nurses to take him to the loo regularly and ask him if he needs a poo. We've promised brand new Superman trunks at the end of the week if he can stay clean and dry for a whole week at pre-school - but that's failed after only 2 days. He REALLY wants those Superman pants so I'm really puzzled.

Any thoughts? Please?! I hate pooey pants!

Please excuse the thread hijack OP....

dilys4trevor Sat 01-Mar-14 21:47:00

My DS2 is 3.4 and is pooing in his pants daily. He has never managed a poo on the loo or potty that didnt start in his pants (and usually manages to squeeze out the tiniest amount for the toilet/potty, if anything).

I am at the end of my tether as he drip feeds these poos; so he will do a small one in his pants, I will sit him on the loo (for a good 20 mins), he cries to come off (without doing anything), in the end I let him, then he poos again in the fresh pants, then I sit him on the loo (nothing), then he cries to come off, more poo in pants....Friday was literally all day long and the first incident made us late for DS1's school.

It is infuriating and I end up shouting sometimes when it is all day. Then I feel awful.

KCOZ Sun 02-Mar-14 10:20:42

Having similar issues here. Ds (3.5), who is incredibly strong willed, has been toilet trained (wee) for nearly a year but he will not poo on the toilet. We sit him on the loo every night and read stories ect, but nothing. Even with 2 matchbox cars siting on the shelf as bribery. He then will poo standing up with a nappy on. It is driving me crazy. Any suggestions on ways to get him to at least try to push when sitting on the loo would be very gratefully accepted !

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