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DD 3yrs4mo has the hang of the wees, but can't get the poos

(13 Posts)
holycowwhatnow Sun 16-Feb-14 22:58:15

DD decided about a month ago that she was tired of me worrying that she wasn't emotionally ready to PT (was adopted at 14mo from an institution) and said one morning that she didn't want nappies any more. Since then, there were a few wee accidents at first but she totally has the hang of things now. But she won't do her poos in the potty or toilet. She tells me immediately when it's done but every day, she does her poo in her nappy. Once, I caught her just as she started and ran to the loo with her but she said 'I'm afraid.' She did it, was very proud of herself but has never done it again since.

Any suggestions for what we can do?

holycowwhatnow Sun 16-Feb-14 22:59:27

Sorry, said she does her poo in her nappy, I meant of course in her knickies.

MellowMarshmallow Sun 16-Feb-14 23:05:55

Can I recommend my multi step training programme that used with ds1 poo withhold extraordinaire.

1. stand in bathroom with nappy on when doing poo.
2. remove nappy and wave goodbye to poo as it gets flushed away.
3. repeat until child has genius idea of just pooing straight into toilet as its quicker.

only took us a couple of days to get that far. good luck.

holycowwhatnow Mon 17-Feb-14 00:02:25

Thx for the reply, mellow. DD is not wearing nappies at all any more apart from at night (and the nappy is usually dry in the morning) so do I just bring her into the loo and let her poo in her knickies? Also, what are the signs that a child is about to do a poo -as opposed to in the middle of it.

MellowMarshmallow Mon 17-Feb-14 08:11:03

sorry misunderstood what she is doing. I suspect she knows already she needs to poo but hides from you or ignores the urge because she is scared.

ds1 was out of nappies too so I told him he could have a nappy whenever he wanted one. so that conquered the first stage of recognising the urge and reacting appropriately to it. I put the nappy on while in the bathroom and he was happy to stay in there.

But some dc do like to wander about as they poo so I guess might get stressed about it. so you might need to start in the bathroom, let her wander about and return to the bathroom for the clean up.

as for recognising the warning signs, that's her job not yours. talk about it. do it before the event asking if she remembers how her tummy feels when she needs to poo, and use that opportunity to say you're wondering if she mighy find pooing in the toilet a bit scary and would be happier pooing in a nappy, as its a bit messy in pants.

if you feel comfortable, you could talk about how you know when its time for you to poo, how sometimes its boring having to just sit there and wait for it, anything you're willing to share that you think might help normalise pooing on the toilet. As soon as I offered a nappy ds stopped hiding or withholding and Ive talked a few of my friends through this with their dc too.

and you sound really calm about this which is a great place to start from.

holycowwhatnow Mon 17-Feb-14 10:53:04

Thx mellow, sage advice. I'm staying home all day today so will make this my target for the day. She's watched me many times( tmi sorry) and talks and talks about it but just bottles it when it comes to it. I am quite chilled out about it - second child, first is 13 and i made all the mistakes on him ;) Dd goes to play school in sept and as long as she has it by then, that's OK.

holycowwhatnow Mon 17-Feb-14 12:50:22

One poo in the potty!!! I got her to sit on the potty right after a really long shower, so she was very relaxed - water is her favourite thing! I told her I could see the poo in her bottom and that it really wanted her to squeeze it out because it wanted to go to the mammy and daddy poo in pooland (we'd watched pooland on youtube before.) So down she sat, wrapped up in a towel and I read her two stories and out it came!!!! Hopefully this is the start of it. She was really pleased with herself.

Thanks for the advice.

MellowMarshmallow Mon 17-Feb-14 12:53:47

"Thanks for the advice"...that was totally not needed because you clearly have it all in hand. Well done to you both. Hoping for plenty more appropriately placed poos to come grin.

holycowwhatnow Mon 17-Feb-14 14:51:07

Thanks mellow smile

holycowwhatnow Mon 17-Feb-14 20:52:46

Ha! Thought I had it cracked and thought it was safe to go to Ikea this afternoon but alas no, a poo accident in Ikea. And the floor of the bathroom was wet and filthy which led to a stressful cleanup operation. Ah well, tomorrow's another day...

MellowMarshmallow Mon 17-Feb-14 21:45:32

Running before you can walk grin . you are so much braver than me. think I stayed home for weeks blush

waddleandtoddle Mon 17-Feb-14 21:54:47

Stickers! I spent 3 weeks trying to get DS to poo in the potty; one day at nursery with them bribing him with stickers and 4 months later he's never had an accident and tells me when he needs to go.
I like to think I did the ground work!

poocatcherchampion Mon 17-Feb-14 22:00:36

this thread is just what I need.
go op's dd!!

my nearly 2yo has been dry for wees since before xmas but saves up poos until the mornings when she has a nappy on when she wakes up. any suggestions for cracking this?

today she really needed to go and I tried to get her to sit on the potty but she cried and nodded when I asked if she was worried about it.

should I do as suggested upthread? I could have put a nappy on her and invited her to go in it as an in between step.

I guess I might have now killed this thread we my own problem but I might do that. grin.

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